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For those with kids with iPads, who undoubtedly have to suffer YouTube videos, does this nursery rhyme bug the tits off you?

Johny, Johny!
Yes, Papa
Eating sugar?
No, Papa
Telling lies?
No, Papa
Open your mouth!
Ha! Ha! Ha!




Pisses me right off. Sounds unnatural. Apparently it's an Indian nursery rhyme. I had guessed Russian or Italian.



I just started saying this to my 4 year old and he finished it for me. Knows his shit [emoji23]
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Wean started crying and moaning at midnight last night, went into her room and the reason was obvious through the smell and the turtles heid I could feel in her nappy. Sleeping bag off, sleepsuit unbuttoned, nappy off, wiped down, nappy on, sleepsuit back on and back in sleeping bag and she didn't even wake up properly, more or less slept through and only half opened one eye when I was wiping her arse. I was preparing myself for a 30 minute stint trying to get her back to sleep but once it was changed she basically rolled over and went back to her snoring. Outstanding. If only I could fall asleep as quickly.

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I think we were given 5 of those arsehole Alfie things. Fucking 5. Different colours but always the same annoying voice.

I think we started giving them on as gifts. I guess it would be rude not to share the pain.


My kids use to have them, the song got in my nerves. Got the fright of my life, when one night it went off singing in the middle of the night with no-one near it. Think it was soon chucked after that[emoji23]
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My kids use to have them, the song got in my nerves. Got the fright of my life, when one night it went off singing in the middle of the night with no-o
ne near it. Think it was soon chucked after that[emoji23]


The Alfie or the child?
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47 minutes ago, ICTChris said:

My wife is three and a bit months pregnant, we had the scan today. We are really happy and pleased but it's still fairly mental to see the images on the screen.

Just wait til it pops out!

Congrats tho!

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Absolutely the wrong topic but it might ring true to folk in here.

Before our wee one came along we would often take our nephews and niece for sleepovers (3 boys belong to one sister and the niece belongs to the other sister). I thought they would know that this wouldn't be a regular thing once we started our own family. I couldn't be more wrong. We had two of the boys the other week as their mum n dad were going out so we helped as a favour. The next day my wife got a text from the other one asking when we'd be having the niece for a sleepover. I mean what the f**k is with some folk?! Needless to say neither sister has asked if they can have Aila for the night (nor will they ever ask such a question) but they don't even have each others kids for sleepovers. They seem to think we'll be as hands on as we were in the past. Surely folk with kids must know relatives (in our situation) take their kids to get a bit of practice! Both are a couple of selfish arseholes at times so I'm not surprised though I'm still clearly raging!

But has anyone in here been in a similar situation where family members seem to forget you've got your own family?!

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We are in the process of potty training Leon. He's 2, last night he runs down the stairs, shouting POO POO! Trying to praise a child for sh1tting in the correct "vicinity" is very hard, especially since half the tolly was in his potty in the bathroom, and the other half was divided between the toilet floor, his sisters room, the top landing, his arse, legs and feet.
Just as we were about to sit down to a chippy ????

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18 minutes ago, ++Ammo - Airdrie++ said:

We are in the process of potty training Leon. He's 2, last night he runs down the stairs, shouting POO POO! Trying to praise a child for sh1tting in the correct "vicinity" is very hard, especially since half the tolly was in his potty in the bathroom, and the other half was divided between the toilet floor, his sisters room, the top landing, his arse, legs and feet.
Just as we were about to sit down to a chippy.

Ach, we've all been there.

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Any of you parents had any experience with imperforate anus? Wee man will be 4 next month and toilet training is still seemingly impossible. There doesnt appear to be any help out there and with him going to school next year, we're beginning to panic a wee bit so just trying to find some advice from people who have gone through this before.

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