Pregnancy And Parenting

[Jmothecat2]

For clarity I didn't think he was a peado. It seems to just be an old person thing. There's a checkout person at the same Tesco I actively avoid as she always tries to give my daughter unwanted physical contact. I think there must have been a generation where this was acceptable even though children quite obviously don't want strangers randomly grabbing parts of their bodies. They then seem to have the audacity to get offended when my daughter pulls away and reacts negatively to it. It's worst on buses. Always go to the top deck to avoid the old people now.

[throbber]

2 minutes ago, Jmothecat2 said:

For clarity I didn't think he was a peado. It seems to just be an old person thing. There's a checkout person at the same Tesco I actively avoid as she always tries to give my daughter unwanted physical contact. I think there must have been a generation where this was acceptable even though children quite obviously don't want strangers randomly grabbing parts of their bodies. They then seem to have the audacity to get offended when my daughter pulls away and reacts negatively to it. It's worst on buses. Always go to the top deck to avoid the old people now.

It does sound annoying but pretty unavoidable, definitely a generational thing as people in their 20's/30's know not to make contact with a strangers child.

[sjc]

8 minutes ago, Jmothecat2 said:

For clarity I didn't think he was a peado. It seems to just be an old person thing. There's a checkout person at the same Tesco I actively avoid as she always tries to give my daughter unwanted physical contact. I think there must have been a generation where this was acceptable even though children quite obviously don't want strangers randomly grabbing parts of their bodies. They then seem to have the audacity to get offended when my daughter pulls away and reacts negatively to it. It's worst on buses. Always go to the top deck to avoid the old people now.

My daughter gets lots of that type of attention out here from young and old people. I put it down to curiosity due to her being mixed race as opposed to anything sinister.

You'd like to think that the vast majority of people are just being friendly but unaware/oblivious as to how society has changed over the years.

[NJ2]

"Though shalt not think that any male over the age of thirty that plays with a child that is not their own is a paedophile, some people; some people are just nice" - Scroobius Pip.

Sorry this is off topic, but I’ve a new found respect for you throbs with your Pip knowledge. Well played, and an apt quote as well.

[throbber]

3 minutes ago, NJ2 said:

Sorry this is off topic, but I’ve a new found respect for you throbs with your Pip knowledge. Well played, and an apt quote as well.

Its a great tune, a sad observation though.

[NJ2]

Its a great tune, a sad observation though.

Very much so. Whenever a bairn makes eye contact with me I’m one of those immature folk that’ll make a face or something to make the bairn smile. Tbh, most time’s the mum/dad/mum & dad laugh along as well...don’t think I’ve ever been accused of being a paedo, at least not to my face. I’ve never gone hands on though, that seems unnecessary.

[throbber]

1 minute ago, NJ2 said:

Very much so. Whenever a bairn makes eye contact with me I’m one of those immature folk that’ll make a face or something to make the bairn smile. Tbh, most time’s the mum/dad/mum & dad laugh along as well...don’t think I’ve ever been accused of being a paedo, at least not to my face. I’ve never gone hands on though, that seems unnecessary.

Thats fair enough, I just don't bother but I have no interest in other peoples kids anyway. I did go through a phase of inspecting every pram that I saw to see what type i wanted though so maybe some parents thought I was staring at their kid!

[NJ2]

Its a great tune, a sad observation though.

Very much so. Whenever a bairn makes eye contact with me I’m one of those immature folk that’ll make a face or something to make the bairn smile. Tbh, most time’s the mum/dad/mum & dad laugh along as well...don’t think I’ve ever been accused of being a paedo, at least not to my face. I’ve never gone hands on though, that seems unnecessary.

[heedthebaa]

When I’m out with Ava it can sometimes be a strange experience, some people ignore her, not really knowing how to act, some get down to her level, take her hand and have a wee conversation with her. These are the gid c***s, they don’t know how much it means to me to have them do that. The ones that just flick their eyes down quickly for a look, well what can you say

[Sergeant Wilson]

32 minutes ago, NJ2 said:

Very much so. Whenever a bairn makes eye contact with me I’m one of those immature folk that’ll make a face or something to make the bairn smile. Tbh, most time’s the mum/dad/mum & dad laugh along as well...don’t think I’ve ever been accused of being a paedo, at least not to my face. I’ve never gone hands on though, that seems unnecessary.

You can only do the funny face so many times though. What about on train or plane trips when the wean continually peeps over or between the seats. A line needs to be drawn! Making an angry face usually sends them away with their tails between their legs.

[sjc]

7 minutes ago, heedthebaa said:

When I’m out with Ava it can sometimes be a strange experience, some people ignore her, not really knowing how to act, some get down to her level, take her hand and have a wee conversation with her. These are the gid c***s, they don’t know how much it means to me to have them do that. The ones that just flick their eyes down quickly for a look, well what can you say

I get what you mean but I don't necessarily think the people that look away do so out of badness. I'd say they don't want to convey a look of "pity". Try not to be too hard on folk as remember we've had to live and therefore "normalize" our situations which to the vast majority of people is alien to them.

People that are openly mocking , belittling or abusive, now they're the c***s I despise.

[heedthebaa]

13 minutes ago, sjc said:

I get what you mean but I don't necessarily think the people that look away do so out of badness. I'd say they don't want to convey a look of "pity". Try not to be too hard on folk as remember we've had to live and therefore "normalize" our situations which to the vast majority of people is alien to them.

People that are openly mocking , belittling or abusive, now they're the c***s I despise.

I’ve tried to remember what I was like in these situations before she was born and I totally understand some people’s reactions, it’s still shit when you see people you know well, clocking you walking towards them and they cross the road or walk into a shop you know they had no intention of going into. Mind I’m no where near as bad as I used to be, especially with the people who just stared,  I had a five second rule in the early years, break eye contact after five seconds or you were asked what the f**k are you looking at  

[sjc]

5 minutes ago, heedthebaa said:

I’ve tried to remember what I was like in these situations before she was born and I totally understand some people’s reactions, it’s still shit when you see people you know well, clocking you walking towards them and they cross the road or walk into a shop you know they had no intention of going into. Mind I’m no where near as bad as I used to be, especially with the people who just stared,  I had a five second rule in the early years, break eye contact after five seconds or you were asked what the f**k are you looking at  

I think some people just don't know how to or even if they should broach the "elephant in the room" for them but part of every day life for you. I've always just told people to chat as they normally would to me and if they wanted to ask about my daughters illness that's fine, likewise if they didn't due to feeling uncomfortable.

Deliberately walking in the other direction to avoid you and your daughter is pretty poor show regardless of  not intending malice though.

[heedthebaa]

In fairness it’s gotten better 

[RH33]

Just point out, kids are much more likely come to harm at hands someone known to them than a stranger.

 

[Jmothecat2]

I don't think anyone is going to harm her, just that it's odd to touch someone's child uninvited. A smile and a wave is fine, but physical contact oversteps the mark and it's quite clear she doesn't enjoy it. If a child isn't smiling at you they probably don't want you punching their cheek.

[throbber]

I don't think anyone is going to harm her, just that it's odd to touch someone's child uninvited. A smile and a wave is fine, but physical contact oversteps the mark and it's quite clear she doesn't enjoy it. If a child isn't smiling at you they probably don't want you punching their cheek.

There’s not a lot you can do about it, if you are to react it will cause more upset to your child probably.

[Jmothecat2]

There’s not a lot you can do about it, if you are to react it will cause more upset to your child probably.

Tbh I think she would love it. Physical violence makes her happy. I'm a bit worried about her.

[throbber]

1 minute ago, Jmothecat2 said:

 

Tbh I think she would love it. Physical violence makes her happy. I'm a bit worried about her.

 

Well the next time someone playfully pinches her cheek then stick the nut into them, even if they're an old woman.

[RH33]

1 hour ago, Jmothecat2 said:

I don't think anyone is going to harm her, just that it's odd to touch someone's child uninvited. A smile and a wave is fine, but physical contact oversteps the mark and it's quite clear she doesn't enjoy it. If a child isn't smiling at you they probably don't want you punching their cheek.

Hadn’t actually read your post tbh.