Pregnancy And Parenting

[welshbairn]

Just now, 19QOS19 said:

Without trying to come across as 'birthday caird pish', I'd see it as such a positive for your wee one. The idea that she has 3 grandfathers/papas is a great thing. Better that than her not having anyone in that role.

If the person in question had only been on the scene a year or so I could understand what you are saying but after 8 years is it not fair to say he's part of the family anyway?

Luckily the bairn will be far more able to cope with these subtleties than throbber.

[heedthebaa]

There’s enough arseholes out there, without being picky and awkward with someone who wants to help, love and take care of a kid who’s not blood related 

[welshbairn]

9 minutes ago, throbber said:

 

I don’t have any problem with her family or her step dad I just don’t like him being referred to as her granddad when my dad and my partners dad are the ones who deserve that title. I’m not objecting to her going and spending time with him or anything like that, he can have what ever rapport with her that he wants.

 

Until you make an honest woman of the baby's mother you're just a bidey-in anyway.

[throbber]

Without trying to come across as 'birthday caird pish', I'd see it as such a positive for your wee one. The idea that she has 3 grandfathers/papas is a great thing. Better that than her not having anyone in that role.

If the person in question had only been on the scene a year or so I could understand what you are saying but after 8 years is it not fair to say he's part of the family anyway?

Well he is family to some extent, they aren’t married though. He never took any step father responsibilities over my Mrs and her siblings, my Mrs was 23 when he started seeing her mum.

[RH33]

If my kids start having their own when grown up and their dad is still with his fiancé I fully expect her to be given a ‘gran’ title. 

[throbber]

There’s enough arseholes out there, without being picky and awkward with someone who wants to help, love and take care of a kid who’s not blood related 

I’m not being an arsehole to anyone here whether or not people are making it out that I am. I am more than happy for him to be in my girls life as much as he wants to be.

[heedthebaa]

3 minutes ago, throbber said:

 

I’m not being an arsehole to anyone here whether or not people are making it out that I am. I am more than happy for him to be in my girls life as much as he wants to be.

 

I didn’t aim the arsehole word at you

[throbber]

I didn’t aim the arsehole word at you

I know you didn’t but other people thinking I’m being a dick about this are way off the mark. The only person i took this up with was my girlfriend who feels the same way most on here do about it anyway so it’s not going to change anyway.

[ICTChris]

We had a similar situation that I detailed earlier in this thread - my wife's parents are divorced and her father has remarried.  We weren't comfortable with his new wife being called Granny for a number of reasons and there were some awkward text exchanges about it but it's sorted out now.  Her dad's wife is being called by her name and it'll be the same for her mum's partner.  I think it really depends on the relationship you have with the step-parent - if we'd been closer to her fathers new wife or her mums partner then I wouldn't have minded them being grandad or granny but we aren't.  The biscuit was taken by them making an issue out of it, the latest in a line of niggles we've had from them since Callan was born.  It's all over now though and I don't expect it to affect the relationship Callan has with his grandparents or their partners.

 

[ShaggysBeard]

On 11/05/2018 at 19:06, Wardy said:

Wife is due 8 weeks tomorrow...still not hit me yet that it’s happening...wish me luck P&B..  

I used to lock myself in the toilet pretending I was shitting just for some time to myself. I highly recommend this to all new fathers.

If we are being brutally honest the first 3 months are horrificly bad, but then it's fine and eventually it's enjoyable.

[Sergeant Wilson]

1 hour ago, throbber said:

I suppose when they're that age then "Dad" to them can just mean the guy who lives in the house with them and tells them what to do occasionally.

Why do you need it in writing? Me and my girlfriend have a father and a mother each which equals 2 grandfathers and 2 grandmothers for our daughter. Its not rocket science. 

When one of them croaks, can he take the title?

Modern families throbber, get used to it.

[19QOS19]

I used to lock myself in the toilet pretending I was shitting just for some time to myself. I highly recommend this to all new fathers.
If we are being brutally honest the first 3 months are horrificly bad, but then it's fine and eventually it's enjoyable.

I never experienced this tbh. Possibly because I'm not really a man's man and had always wanted to have kids? We never lost any sleep either which is maybe why I found it an easy transition. We're at 19 months now and she's starting to tantrum when she doesn't get her own way. The past 2 weeks with this starting have been the most difficult stage I've experienced. She's given us an extremely easy time before this.

[19QOS19]

And I just remembered why I came on here! It's a PTTGOMN but this is a more appropriate page. Dummy's in a child's mouth at an age where they can communicate makes me feel really uncomfortable for some reason. We were away at the weekend and saw a wee lassie who must have been in primary 2 I'd guess, sitting speaking away with a dummy in her mouth. We were lucky in that Aila never bothered when we removed it but surely at that age the child can be spoken to and explain the dummy is going away!

[Jacksgranda]

23 minutes ago, ICTChris said:

We had a similar situation that I detailed earlier in this thread - my wife's parents are divorced and her father has remarried.  We weren't comfortable with his new wife being called Granny for a number of reasons and there were some awkward text exchanges about it but it's sorted out now.  Her dad's wife is being called by her name and it'll be the same for her mum's partner.  I think it really depends on the relationship you have with the step-parent - if we'd been closer to her fathers new wife or her mums partner then I wouldn't have minded them being grandad or granny but we aren't.  The biscuit was taken by them making an issue out of it, the latest in a line of niggles we've had from them since Callan was born.  It's all over now though and I don't expect it to affect the relationship Callan has with his grandparents or their partners.

 

Can you imagine the problems you would have had had you been close to one lot and let them be called granny/grandad but not the other and they had to be Sheila/Jim! 

Edited May 14, 2018 by Jacksgranda
sllepnig

[Bairnardo]

And I just remembered why I came on here! It's a PTTGOMN but this is a more appropriate page. Dummy's in a child's mouth at an age where they can communicate makes me feel really uncomfortable for some reason. We were away at the weekend and saw a wee lassie who must have been in primary 2 I'd guess, sitting speaking away with a dummy in her mouth. We were lucky in that Aila never bothered when we removed it but surely at that age the child can be spoken to and explain the dummy is going away!

My oldest has only had her dummy at bedtime for about the last year, and onbher third birthday it got binned. Have to credit Mrs B a wee bit on that because it being only at bedtime it never really bothered me, but she wasnt having it. Dummy fairy has been. Ta ta.

[Melanius Mullarkey]

11 minutes ago, ShaggysBeard said:

I used to lock myself in the toilet pretending I was shitting just for some time to myself. 

I still do this.  Mostly at work though.

[19QOS19]

My oldest has only had her dummy at bedtime for about the last year, and onbher third birthday it got binned. Have to credit Mrs B a wee bit on that because it being only at bedtime it never really bothered me, but she wasnt having it. Dummy fairy has been. Ta ta.

We did that. I don't have any issue* with it being used as an aid to help them sleep, I just find it strange when kids are walking around talking with them in. Just seems like a habit in that instance.


* Not that I'm in charge of how children should be raised, of course [emoji38]

[welshbairn]

I thought of throbber when I read this.

Quote

In a May 2011 interview with the New York Times, Donald Trump explained his stance on gay marriage like this:

"It's like in golf. A lot of people -- I don't want this to sound trivial -- but a lot of people are switching to these really long putters, very unattractive. It's weird. You see these great players with these really long putters, because they can't sink three-footers anymore. And, I hate it. I am a traditionalist. I have so many fabulous friends who happen to be gay, but I am a traditionalist."

 

[ShaggysBeard]

9 minutes ago, 19QOS19 said:

I never experienced this tbh. Possibly because I'm not really a man's man and had always wanted to have kids? We never lost any sleep either which is maybe why I found it an easy transition. We're at 19 months now and she's starting to tantrum when she doesn't get her own way. The past 2 weeks with this starting have been the most difficult stage I've experienced. She's given us an extremely easy time before this.

 

I am probably being guilty of taking my own experiences and generalising. We had a difficult pregnancy with my first; he's a twin though his twin never made it to term and we had emergency rushes to London hospitals and that. He was delivered healthy but slightly early and tiny. He's now 5 and absolutely thriving in everything thankfully.

My second was as you describe.

[ICTChris]

19 minutes ago, ShaggysBeard said:

I used to lock myself in the toilet pretending I was shitting just for some time to myself. I highly recommend this to all new fathers.

If we are being brutally honest the first 3 months are horrificly bad, but then it's fine and eventually it's enjoyable.

How hard did you pretend?  Did you make straining noises, walk out with a copy of the paper under your arm and say to your wife "oooft, I'd give it five minutes if I were you love"?