Shandon Par Posted November 15, 2016 Share Posted November 15, 2016 35 minutes ago, Bairnardo said: Bernard Matthews Turkey Drummers.... They are absolutely fucking amazing. Still sell these things? Tremendous amount of very tasty grease used to run out of them. Very tasty, if not wholly natural. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bobby Skidmarks Posted November 15, 2016 Share Posted November 15, 2016 Oh aye, like yer king rib etc you know its lips and arseholes, but they really are tasty as f**k I hope you're not having them with salad or that. It needs to be Smileys or Potato Waffles (Birdseye, natch) and beans. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dee Man Posted November 15, 2016 Share Posted November 15, 2016 2 minutes ago, Bairnardo said: Close. They were for baby Bairnardos dinner. The normal potato letters have been subsituted for potato Christmas shapes and there was also a wee flipper dipper too (surf and turf) I used to feed the kids those potato letters and spell out f**k THE DABS on their dinner plate. I didn't really but I now wish I did. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bobby Skidmarks Posted November 15, 2016 Share Posted November 15, 2016 Close. They were for baby Bairnardos dinner. The normal potato letters have been subsituted for potato Christmas shapes and there was also a wee flipper dipper too (surf and turf) Nutritious. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DI Bruce Robertson Posted November 15, 2016 Share Posted November 15, 2016 I have been getting heartburn for about 7 years now and in that time have drank a lot of booze which was often chased the next day with red bull, irn bru and bacon among other things which I'm sure never helped but have discovered of late it has been white bread that has been giving it to me and nothing else. I hardly drink soft drinks now and cut out the white bread about 6 weeks ago and hadn't really noticed but I hadn't been needing to take my heartburn medication in that spell and then this weekend I got some white bread in and have been having heartburn today and yesterday. Strange that. Keep us updated, fascinating stuff! 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dee Man Posted November 15, 2016 Share Posted November 15, 2016 I'm sitting in a service station occasionally glancing up at the foreign film showing on the TV. There was a bit of a head to head between two women and the subtitles read, "If you say that again, I'll do you in" which I found mildly amusing as I thought this was purely a Scottish colloquialism but apparently not. Unless the person typing was Scottish of course. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bobby Skidmarks Posted November 15, 2016 Share Posted November 15, 2016 I know she doesnt eat shite all the time. Mostly she eats wee homemade meals we make for her but she gets stuff like that out the oven too that she can eat herself because we are trying to encourage her with finger food aswell as us spoonfeeding her. She ate a load of veg along with her drummer too. Nothing like a bit of a parenting dig to put someone on the back foot seemingly.... Sorry m8, no offence intended. I have a 2 and a half year old girl so I know where you're coming from. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
welshbairn Posted November 15, 2016 Share Posted November 15, 2016 30 minutes ago, Bairnardo said: I know she doesnt eat shite all the time. Mostly she eats wee homemade meals we make for her but she gets stuff like that out the oven too that she can eat herself Hope she's got a teeny set of oven gloves. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
smpar Posted November 15, 2016 Share Posted November 15, 2016 The lassie at Costa gave me this amount of napkins, which seemed to be a very large amount indeed. Thoughts? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
smpar Posted November 15, 2016 Share Posted November 15, 2016 And I shall accept no criticism at the fact I got a Costa, that goat's cheese panini and orange hot chocolate was the fucking bollocks. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WILLIEA Posted November 15, 2016 Share Posted November 15, 2016 5 minutes ago, smpar said: The lassie at Costa gave me this amount of napkins, which seemed to be a very large amount indeed. Thoughts? She's seen you eating in there before and knows you're a very messy boy ??? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
smpar Posted November 15, 2016 Share Posted November 15, 2016 She's seen you eating in there before and knows you're a very messy boy ??? That's what I thought at first, never eaten in there before. Next suggestion please. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bobby Skidmarks Posted November 15, 2016 Share Posted November 15, 2016 Maybe they've run out of shit roll, in case you need to use the can. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
smpar Posted November 15, 2016 Share Posted November 15, 2016 Maybe they've run out of shit roll, in case you need to use the can. No toilet in this Costa. Next. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dee Man Posted November 15, 2016 Share Posted November 15, 2016 You have a very dislikeable face so the girl smeared raw chicken around the rim of your cup so she gave you napkins to use down the alley round the corner in 10 minutes. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
smpar Posted November 15, 2016 Share Posted November 15, 2016 You have a very dislikeable face so the girl smeared raw chicken around the rim of your cup so she gave you napkins to use down the alley round the corner in 10 minutes. I think you're onto something here. I'll let you all know if my arse is running like a broken tap later on. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cerberus Posted November 15, 2016 Share Posted November 15, 2016 She's wasteful? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
smpar Posted November 15, 2016 Share Posted November 15, 2016 She's wasteful? I reckon this may have been an uncharacteristic movement from her. I can't help but think that she was trying to insinuate something. Were you masturbating when waiting on your coffee? Obviously not. I waited till I got outside the shop. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Romeo Posted November 15, 2016 Share Posted November 15, 2016 If I knew someone who was having a birthday tomorrow I would think of the nicest thing I could say about them and post it on here to make them feel better about being (more of) an auld c**t. If I knew someone..... 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mark Connolly Posted November 15, 2016 Share Posted November 15, 2016 16 minutes ago, Romeo said: If I knew someone who was having a birthday tomorrow I would think of the nicest thing I could say about them and post it on here to make them feel better about being (more of) an auld c**t. If I knew someone..... Mine was yesterday, you fucking dick. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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