GordonD Posted July 17, 2022 Share Posted July 17, 2022 Just now, Zen Archer (Raconteur) said: Bowel cancer screening, send your stool to Dundee, it's quite popular. Yet try sending it to Downing Street and you get into all sorts of trouble. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zen Archer (Raconteur) Posted July 17, 2022 Share Posted July 17, 2022 1 minute ago, GordonD said: Yet try sending it to Downing Street and you get into all sorts of trouble. That particular address has it's quota of stools already fulfilled. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BFTD Posted July 17, 2022 Share Posted July 17, 2022 Just now, Zen Archer (Raconteur) said: Bowel cancer screening, send your stool to Dundee, it's quite popular. Huh, I'd no idea they did that automatically. Cool. Quality choice of location, NHS. I had to leave a stool sample for different reasons recently, and felt particularly bad for the lab techs. Fellow Keto dieters will understand why. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zen Archer (Raconteur) Posted July 17, 2022 Share Posted July 17, 2022 2 minutes ago, BFTD said: Huh, I'd no idea they did that automatically. Cool. Quality choice of location, NHS. I had to leave a stool sample for different reasons recently, and felt particularly bad for the lab techs. Fellow Keto dieters will understand why. You need to be of a certain age or be a baldy cementist or both. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BFTD Posted July 17, 2022 Share Posted July 17, 2022 15 minutes ago, Zen Archer (Raconteur) said: You need to be of a certain age or be a baldy cementist or both. Looks like they're in the process of broadening the starting age from 60 to 50, so it'll be a few years before I'm invited not to talk about Shit Club. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zen Archer (Raconteur) Posted July 17, 2022 Share Posted July 17, 2022 36 minutes ago, BFTD said: Looks like they're in the process of broadening the starting age from 60 to 50, so it'll be a few years before I'm invited not to talk about Shit Club. It's been 50 for more than a decade. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BFTD Posted July 17, 2022 Share Posted July 17, 2022 2 minutes ago, Zen Archer (Raconteur) said: It's been 50 for more than a decade. I'm getting my links mixed up with NHS England. Looks like a right laugh from the video halfway down the page here: https://www.nhs.uk/conditions/bowel-cancer-screening/. I'm guessing you aren't supposed to use the box you take your pieces to work in. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bigmouth Strikes Again Posted July 17, 2022 Share Posted July 17, 2022 21 hours ago, Melanius Mullarkay said: That’s me got the “please shit in this” letter. Will join the club over the next few days. Top tip. Put a load of bog roll in the bog first and then do it on that. Thank you. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zen Archer (Raconteur) Posted July 17, 2022 Share Posted July 17, 2022 9 minutes ago, Bigmouth Strikes Again said: Top tip. Put a load of bog roll in the bog first and then do it on that. Thank you. Take the sample off the bog roll you've wiped your arse with and save the bog roll/planet. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Melanius Mullarkey Posted July 17, 2022 Share Posted July 17, 2022 I was just going to shit on the bathroom floor as normal but thanks for the tips. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bigmouth Strikes Again Posted July 17, 2022 Share Posted July 17, 2022 42 minutes ago, Zen Archer (Raconteur) said: Take the sample off the bog roll you've wiped your arse with and save the bog roll/planet. Think you've got to insert the stick thing right into the stool, and then withdraw it. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zen Archer (Raconteur) Posted July 17, 2022 Share Posted July 17, 2022 Just now, Bigmouth Strikes Again said: Think you've got to insert the stick thing right into the stool, and then withdraw it. Nope, you're talking shite. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sergeant Wilson Posted July 17, 2022 Share Posted July 17, 2022 54 minutes ago, Melanius Mullarkay said: I was just going to shit on the bathroom floor as normal but thanks for the tips. I've said before, never mind samples. I shite in a shoe box and send that. They can take as little or as much as they like. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Melanius Mullarkey Posted July 17, 2022 Share Posted July 17, 2022 3 minutes ago, Sergeant Wilson said: I've said before, never mind samples. I shite in a shoe box and send that. They can take as little or as much as they like. Do I need to fill the whole box? Might take a day or two. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sergeant Wilson Posted July 17, 2022 Share Posted July 17, 2022 Just now, Melanius Mullarkay said: Do I need to fill the whole box? Might take a day or two. Never been an issue for me. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
'WellDel Posted July 17, 2022 Share Posted July 17, 2022 So, not only do these poor cnuts work in a lab analysing shit on a stick, but they need to do it in fucking Dundee? Quite the double whammy. Bet they wish their weekends away to get back on the job(bies) of a Monday morning. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bigmouth Strikes Again Posted July 17, 2022 Share Posted July 17, 2022 1 hour ago, Zen Archer (Raconteur) said: Nope, you're talking shite. Fair enough Professor Faeces. Thank you. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GordonD Posted July 17, 2022 Share Posted July 17, 2022 1 hour ago, 'WellDel said: So, not only do these poor cnuts work in a lab analysing shit on a stick, but they need to do it in fucking Dundee? When they get to the lab in Dundee, opening a box full of shite is a big improvement on the day. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HeWhoWalksBehindTheRows Posted July 17, 2022 Share Posted July 17, 2022 4 hours ago, BFTD said: Looks like they're in the process of broadening the starting age from 60 to 50, so it'll be a few years before I'm invited not to talk about Shit Club. Wait.... this is free when you hit 50??? That's going to save me a small fortune. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Melanius Mullarkey Posted July 17, 2022 Share Posted July 17, 2022 To be fair, Kings Cross is literally 5 minutes from the house so I might just go and do it on the reception desk. Saves everyone a lot of hassle. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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