Things you want to share with P&B

[bullywee]

For about 8 months after my socks have been through the washing machine, I've just piled them in neat pairs. When at home, mum always put them into those wee bundles but I never knew how to do it and was ashamed to ask anyone.

Step forward Dot from Eastenders showing it in a masterclass moment of laundrette rage and I can now put my socks into the wee balls.

You have no idea how much inane satisfaction this gives me.

aw brains and nae sense.

Edited March 17, 2010 by bullywee

[Ad Lib]

You know, for a seriously bright guy you are in real danger of giving the "aw brains and nae sense" mob an excuse for living.

They were all folded in nice piles before I learned this though. NICE PILES I TELL YOU! FOLDED!

[Homer Thompson]

Damn straight. It's always bemused me how every single shop in Britain has a queue system apart from in pubs.

Now, pubs don't really need a queue system if you pop in for an afternoon pint when there's about three other folk in the whole place (including the staff), but Sportsters or Wetherspoons in Falkirk are free-for-alls on a Friday and Saturday night.

Facebook Group - Don’t ever say IM NEXT. I know who is NEXT it’s my job to know who is NEXT! You have just walked to the bar can you not see 10 people to your left and 10 to your right that were before you?

Er, no, love, you don't, and that part about twenty folk to my left/right who were there first is a load of made-up sanctimonious bollocks.

But, people saying "Im next" is possibly the most annoying thing when you work behind a bar. Probably comes a close second to people who order large rounds one drink at a time, especially as they all, without fail, leave ordering Guiness to last

I took great pleasure in proving people who said "Im next" wrong when I worked behind a bar

At the nearest night-club one of the newer bar staff just serves on a clockwise basis around the bar. Which makes it very easy to just skip past quite a lot of people to her next stop in the circle.

We used to do this when I worked in a really busy city centre bar in Sheffield. There were usually 2 or 3 of us per section of the bar (it was a very big bar!) and we would just start at one end and work our way down.

[endieinreekie]

I once tried to get my cock out, but I just got ejected from the premises

Sounds like you've got a dodgy cock tale.

[vikingTON]

We used to do this when I worked in a really busy city centre bar in Sheffield. There were usually 2 or 3 of us per section of the bar (it was a very big bar!) and we would just start at one end and work our way down.

Aye, it should work well in a bigger bar where there's no other option, but this is a 4 metre long thing with the same people up each time.

[Gaz]

the barmaid would have said "thanks for the tip"

Whoops! No capital letter at the start of your sentence Frank, or full stop at the end?

You illiterate fuckwit.

[Gaz]

But, people saying "Im next" is possibly the most annoying thing when you work behind a bar. Probably comes a close second to people who order large rounds one drink at a time, especially as they all, without fail, leave ordering Guiness to last

I took great pleasure in proving people who said "Im next" wrong when I worked behind a bar

No no, I can quite agree that having people say "I'm next" is hella annoying when working in a bar, but the lass is trying to explain that she knows exactly who came to the bar and when, which is quite clearly a bunch of lies.

[gav-ffc]

I might start a Facebook group called "Stop having an over-inflated opinion of yourself, you're only a City barman in Falkirk, after all".

EDIT: This isn't aimed at Gav - don't think I've ever been served by him at all - but some of the barmaids / barmen in City and Sportsters are total c***s who think they're in Coyote Ugly.

First time you buy a drink, give the lassie/guy behind the bar a £1 tip. You'll barely have to wait for a drink the rest of the night.

Try this idea Gaz and i will serve you everytime.

[gav-ffc]

Fuckwits who say "Im Next" are never next in my eyes.

The one thing that gets on my nipples is when people come to the bar and when you get round to them they dont know what they want and neither do thier pals! Grrr! Or when someone says Vk please, what one we do four flavours! No matter what one you give them they are never happy at what one you give them, if you say "any" then complain just f**k off.

[Homer Thompson]

No no, I can quite agree that having people say "I'm next" is hella annoying when working in a bar, but the lass is trying to explain that she knows exactly who came to the bar and when, which is quite clearly a bunch of lies.

Ah, I see. Maybe she meant she knew who'd arrived at the bar and when, rather than who'd come in through the door?

Fuckwits who say "Im Next" are never next in my eyes.

The one thing that gets on my nipples is when people come to the bar and when you get round to them they dont know what they want and neither do thier pals! Grrr! Or when someone says Vk please, what one we do four flavours! No matter what one you give them they are never happy at what one you give them, if you say "any" then complain just f**k off.

Oh man, I forgot about people like that. The place I worked in in Sheffield was great cause if anyone did that you just ignored them and moved onto the next person

[Kieran]

this makes me laugh far too much

[Fuctifano]

No one needs to shout that much. And why the backflip with the arm in a sling?

[theentomologist]

No one needs to shout that much. And why the backflip with the arm in a sling?

is the shouting not some sort of force push type inhaling type thing along the lines of the excuse for it in tennis?

its not a backflip -shes pushed.

[MP_MFC]

Bird ≥ Word

[Sao Paulo]

I often use 'I'm going to go and give myself peace' as a euphemism - intending that I am in fact going away to defecate.

[An Sionnach]

I ordered a copy of the Peter Greenaway film "The Belly of an Architect" two months ago through Amazon.

As it's an obscure art-house film, and Greenaway has worked with a number of Dutch film companies in the past, the firm selling it were based in Amsterdam.

I got a nice email, via Amazon, from the company saying my film was on its way.

Nothing.......

Then a week ago I got another email from the Amsterdam firm asking me to confirm my address again as they had sent my film to the wrong address.

I did so and, last night, found my film safely delivered. It was in the original envelope, correctly addressed, which had been inserted into a new envelope, also correctly addressed, which had, this time, reached me. I checked the postmarks on the first envelope and was astounded.

I don't feel like watching my film now as it's already had a far better time than I probably ever will have!

Pailsey, Renfrewshire - Cayman Islands, Caribbean Sea. Yes, yes....I can see how they got them confused...

[bullywee]

clyde til we die is weird.

[Bibby]

I have an interview with NATS (Air Traffic Controllers), on the 31st at Prestwick, and if I pass that, and some follow up tests, I can start training to be an ATC.

Me and my cousin and a mate are also a good way into developing a wee (legal) money making venture that should net us a tidy profit each month.

But, I'm still registered at uni and stil intend on sitting my exams in May, even though I've lost faith and motivation for further education altogether.

Basically, I've came to a corridor with three doors and I don't know which one to go through. Much pondering will occur.

[Narc1]

I might start a Facebook group called "Stop having an over-inflated opinion of yourself, you're only a City barman in Falkirk, after all".

EDIT: This isn't aimed at Gav - don't think I've ever been served by him at all - but some of the barmaids / barmen in City and Sportsters are total c***s who think they're in Coyote Ugly.

:lol: Very true.

Edited March 18, 2010 by Narc1

[Cj20]

Most of my big toenail got ripped off at 5s this afternoon. Ow.