Things you want to share with P&B

[The Woolshed]

If you can't pick it off and you don't fancy chancing it with nail varnish remover, patch it.

That potentially could be a good option. Thanks LM ????. Someone is coming out tomorrow night from a carpet cleaning firm to attempt to fix it. Fingers crossed.

[tinkerbelle]

This is my current favourite website.

http://www.ferraridatabase.com/

It has every model ever made and full technical details on each.

[Supras]

Stupid Americans

[AberDon]

That looks like Dundee train station.

[bullywee]

A JUS WAN CHINGE

[Granny Danger]

That looks like Dundee train station.

That looks nothing like Dundee train station. Nothing.

[smpar]

It looks like some are in Huddersfield. I'm not sure, I might be wrong.

[hazzi]

I went past a road called Smellies Lane in Dundee last night when I was steaming walking to Lochee. Weird name for a street.

[jamamafegan]

I went past a road called Smellies Lane in Dundee last night when I was steaming walking to Lochee. Weird name for a street.

My friend almost got attacked by 2 junkies just a couple yards before Smellies Lane once. Rather unpleasant moment.

[Mak QOSFC]

There's a street in London called Buckfast Street, true story.

[Lexi Collector]

I like the taste of Buckfast. Might start drinking it more often.

[Zanetti]

http://www.gizoogle.net/

Translates any page of your choosing into gangster talk, I'm having way too much fun reading P&B with it.

Since it only does one page at a time, the easiest way to translate a page quckly is to put http://www.gizoogle.net/tranzizzle.php?search= in front of the URL.

My favourite post so far is NewBornBairn's in the BMW Drivers thread.

Da other dizzle I was cruisin along as usual comin onto one of mah motorways, which was straight-up busy wit inferior cars. First off, I couldn't believe dat tha volume of traffic DIDN'T slow down fo' mah crazy ass AT ALL as I came off tha exit ramp! I had ta squeeze tha f**k into a funky-ass barely big-ass enough gap between two rides up in order ta git onto mah motorway! Da driver of tha hoopty behind mah crazy ass did realise his crazy-ass mistake though n' honked a apologizzle ta mah crazy ass wit a long-ass blast of his horn. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. Unbelievably, I had ta do tha same stupid-ass again before I could git ta tha BMW lane.

Anyway, once I was up in tha BMW lane n' posin along at 110 mph enjoyin tha adulation dat tha inferior hoopty drivers was givin me, I noticed a inferior hoopty ahead of mah crazy ass which was not only up in tha BMW lane of mah motorway yo, but was rollin at a ridiculous 70 mph! Naturally, I gots within a gangbangin' foot and so of his bangin rear bumper n' flashed mah headlights ta remind his ass he shouldn't be up in tha BMW lane of mah motorway n' ta git outta mah way. Once he realised it was a BMW behind him, he did just dat yo, but I could hardly believe it when he pulled straight back up behind me! Dude also tried ta keep up wit mah crazy ass n' when he realised I would out-run him, he put on some blue lights up in his wild lil' front grill n' urged mah crazy ass ta git onto tha hard shoulder so dat he could congratulate mah crazy ass on mah pimpin car.

Needless ta say, I was eager ta oblige n' when our crazy-ass asses had stopped, tha playa gave mah crazy ass a piece of paper confirmin what tha f**k I already knew - dat mah hoopty goes fast! Apparently he wants everyone ta know what tha f**k a supaior hoopty I have, so I had ta take mah drivers licence ta a five-o station ta be busted away ta have some points put on! (They're not free points either - they're £20 each n' I was only allowed 3. But tha playa all up in tha five-o station holla'd dat cuz I drive a BMW, it won't be much longer before Igit tha full 12 points, n' then I won't even NEED a thugged-out rollin licence, so they will take it off me!

See, now THAT'S tha sort of respect you git when you own n' drive a BMW!

[Fudge]

I met L4L tonight.

[Lichtieforlife]

Shakehands Tom - Dfc likes shouting

[ShakehandsTom - DFC]

I met L4L tonight.

A decent chap.

[ShakehandsTom - DFC]

Shakehands Tom - Dfc likes shouting

I can't help myself when playing football!

[welshbairn]

http://www.gizoogle.net/

Translates any page of your choosing into gangster talk, I'm having way too much fun reading P&B with it.

Since it only does one page at a time, the easiest way to translate a page quckly is to put http://www.gizoogle....zle.php?search= in front of the URL.

My favourite post so far is NewBornBairn's in the BMW Drivers thread.

Never been a big fan of Jane Austen, but:

Chapter 1

IT be a truth universally bigged up, dat a single playa up in possession of a phat fortune must be up in want of a ho.

However lil known tha feelings and viewz of such a playa may be on his wild lil' first enterin a neighbourhood, dis truth is so well fixed up in tha mindz of tha surroundin crews, dat he is considered as tha rightful property of some one and other of they daughters.

``My fuckin dear Mista Muthafuckin Bennet,'' holla'd his fuckin lady ta his ass one day, ``have you heard dat Netherfield Park is let at last?''

Mista Muthafuckin Bennet replied dat he had not.

``But it is,'' returned she; ``for Mrs. Long has just been here, n' her ass busted some lyrics ta mah crazy ass all bout dat shit.''

Mista Muthafuckin Bennet done cooked up no answer.

``Do not you wanna know whoz ass has taken it?'' cried his ho impatiently.

``Yo ass wanna tell me, n' I have no objection ta hearin dat shit.''

This was invitation enough.

``Why, mah dear, you must know, Mrs. Long says dat Netherfield is taken by a lil' playa of big-ass fortune from tha uptown of England; dat he came down on Mondizzle up in a cold-ass lil chaise n' four ta peep tha place, n' was so much delighted wit it dat he agreed wit Mista Muthafuckin Morris immediately; dat he is ta take possession before Michaelmas, n' a shitload of his servants is ta be up in tha doggy den by tha end of next week.''

``What tha f**k iz his name?''

``Bingley.''

``Is he hooked up and single?''

``Oh, muthafucka! single, mah dear, ta be sure, muthafucka! A single playa of big-ass fortune; four and five thousand a year. What a gangbangin' fine muthafuckin thang fo' our hoes!''

``How tha f**k so, biatch? how tha f**k can it affect them?''

``My fuckin dear Mista Muthafuckin Bennet,'' replied his ho, ``how can you be so tiresome, muthafucka! Yo ass must know dat I be thankin of his crazy-ass marryin one of them.''

``Is dat his fuckin lil' design up in settlin here?''

``Design, muthafucka! nonsense, how tha f**k can you rap so, muthafucka! But it is straight-up likely dat he may fall up in ludd wit one of them, n' therefore you must git on over ta his ass as soon as he comes.''

``I peep no occasion fo' dat shit. Yo ass n' tha hoes may go, and you may bust em by themselves, which like is ghon be still better; for, as yo ass be as handsome as any of them, Mista Muthafuckin Bingley might like you tha dopest of tha party.''

``My fuckin dear, you flatter mah dirty ass. I certainly have had mah share of beauty yo, but I do not pretend ta be any muthafuckin thang extraordinary now, nahmeean, biatch? When a biatch has five grown up daughters, her ass ought ta give over thankin of her own beauty.''

``In such cases, a biatch has not often much beauty ta be thinkin of.''

``But, mah dear, you must indeed go n' peep Mista Muthafuckin Bingley when he comes tha f**k into tha neighbourhood.''

``It be mo' than I engage for, I assure yo thugged-out ass.''

``But consider yo' daughters. Only be thinkin what tha f**k a establishment it would be fo' one of them. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Sir Lil' Willy n' Lady Lucas is determined ta go, merely on dat account, fo' up in general, you know they git on over ta no freshly smoked up comers. Git tha f**k outta mah grill wit dat bullshizzle you must go, fo' it is ghon be impossible fo' our asses ta git on over ta him, if you do not.''

``Yo ass is over-scrupulous, surely. I dare say Mista Muthafuckin Bingley is ghon be straight-up glad ta peep you; n' I will bust a gangbangin' few lines by you ta assure his asz of mah hearty consent ta his crazy-ass marryin which eva he chusez of tha hoes; though I must throw up in a phat word fo' mah lil Lizzy.''

``I desire yo big-ass booty is ghon do no such thang. Lizzy aint a funky-ass bit mo' betta than tha others; n' I be shizzle her ass aint half so handsome as Jane, nor half so phat humoured as Lydia. But yo ass be always givin her tha preference.''

``They have none of em much ta recommend them,'' replied he; ``they is all silly n' ignorant like other hoes; but Lizzy has somethang mo' of quicknizz than her sisters.''

``Mista Muthafuckin Bennet, how tha f**k can you abuse yo' own lil pimps up in such way, biatch? Yo ass take delight up in vexin mah dirty ass. Yo ass have no comboner on mah skanky nerves.''

``Yo ass mistake me, mah dear. I gots a high respect fo' yo' nerves. They is mah oldschool playas. I have heard you mention em wit consideration these twenty muthafuckin years at least.''

``Ah, muthafucka! you do not know what tha f**k I suffer.''

``But I hope yo big-ass booty is ghon git over it, n' live ta peep nuff lil' pimpz of four thousand a year come tha f**k into tha neighbourhood.''

``It is ghon be no bust ta our asses if twenty such should come, since yo big-ass booty is ghon not git on over ta them.''

``Depend upon it, mah dear, dat when there is twenty I will git on over ta em all.''

Mista Muthafuckin Bennet was so odd a mixture of quick parts, sarcastic humour, reserve, n' caprice, dat tha experience of three n' twenty muthafuckin years had been insufficient ta make his ho understand his character yo. Her mind was less hard as f**k ta pimpe. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Biatch was a biatch of mean understanding, lil deetz, n' uncertain temper. When her ass was discontented, her ass fancied her muthafuckin ass nervous. Da bidnizz of her thuglife was ta git her daughtas hooked up; its solace was visitin n' news.

Literature Network » Jane Austen » Pride n' Prejudice » Chapter 1

[Sweet Pete]

Where Facebook suggests pages that your friends have liked, I just got the suggestion "Jimmy Savile; C. Muir likes this"

[The Real Saints]

http://www.gizoogle.net/

Translates any page of your choosing into gangster talk, I'm having way too much fun reading P&B with it.

Since it only does one page at a time, the easiest way to translate a page quckly is to put http://www.gizoogle.net/tranzizzle.php?search= in front of the URL.

My favourite post so far is NewBornBairn's in the BMW Drivers thread.

As a shitload of y'all may be aware, I done been away fo' tha past three days. For mah summer holidays, I went ta tha Strathclyde Hilton. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. I advise you ta never even be thinkin of Strathclyde as a possible holidizzle destination, as it may well be tha worst muthafuckin thang dat you've eva experienced up in yo' life.

My fuckin mum, dad n' I fuckin started our journey by goin ta IKEA up in Paisley. Yes, IKEA! In Paisley! I don't know what tha f**k they was thankin.

Anyway, I spent a hour n' a half there trollin around, while mah muthafathas searched fo' a cold-ass lil cupboard they wanted. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! They finally found it, so it was time ta go ta tha checkout. I was almost ecstatic dat our crazy-ass asses was set ta leave fo' tha Strathclyde Hilton at last, n' thought dat thangs couldn't git possibly worse. I was wrong. While up in tha queue all up in tha checkout, a lil pimp up in front of mah crazy ass shat his thugged-out lil' pants. Yes, he literally shat his thugged-out lil' pants. Everyone nearby basically ran fo' cover, wit they handz over they noses. Da place straight-up reeked, n' I was hella, straight-up close ta spewin mah load.

Meanwhile, I had unbearable hunger pangs. I hadn't had lunch, so was hopin ta git a hot dawg at IKEA yo, but dat rank lil pimp put mah crazy ass off smokin anythang.

I couldn't git outta dat place soon enough, n' was lookin forward ta gettin ta tha Strathclyde Hilton fo' a nice, chillaxin swim.

But f**k dat shizzle yo, tha word on tha street is dat our crazy-ass asses had ta find our hoopty first, up in tha massive IKEA hoopty park. Our thugged-out asses spent bout half a hour lookin fo' our hoopty before our crazy-ass asses eventually found dat shit. Our thugged-out asses then travelled ta tha Hilton, gettin lost on tha way of course, wit mah mum n' dad shoutin at each other all tha way there. It was a nightmare. Our thugged-out asses finally gots there though, wit hopes dat our holidizzle would finally take a turn fo' tha phat.

Hopes turned ta despair when our crazy-ass asses was busted some lyrics ta dat tha pool was outta boundz fo' tha day, cuz of 'a few lil accidents'. Yes, some muthafucka had taken a thugged-out dump up in tha pool.

I suppose there was a gangbangin' few phat points ta tha holiday. M&D's was decent enough. Da chicken wasn't however. Our thugged-out asses went ta tha nearest Brewer's Fayre fo' tea, n' I axed fo' a funky-ass burger, which arrived 35 minutes later. It was straight-up solid. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! I was straight-up unimpressed yo, but ate it anyway cuz I was hungry. I then felt ill fo' tha rest of tha night.

So, as much as a holidizzle ta Strathclyde may seem temptin ta you, don't go there!

And the first response (SaintSam) -

Why would every last muthafuckin muthafucka go ta Strathclyde fo' a holiday?

[weirdcal]

I went past a road called Smellies Lane in Dundee last night when I was steaming walking to Lochee. Weird name for a street.

There's a street in London called Buckfast Street, true story.

i think this wins