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Comrades. There really is no easy way to say this. Operation Malkygull was an unmitigated disaster. Casualties are currently sitting at 100%. We failed to forsee that our state of the art kevlar bodyarmour's only weakness was from a direct peck of a broody seagull's beak.

The Mothers Pride, bleach and baking soda chemical warfare also failed and now the seagull is retaliating with shite that is currently eating through the paintwork on my car.

I have retreated to our secret command bunker. Be brave in the knowledge that whilst it is only a matter of time before it raises a dreadful, pecky army and annihilates you all, I am safe in Cheers nightclub.

Mozza, your missus says hi.

I fucking warned you all!!

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I fucking warned you all!!

Oh God, it's all so terribly true. I can only suggest that you all watch this documentary and prepare for the inevitable.

May God have mercy on our souls.

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Hundreds of sex toys have been spotted hanging from power lines across Portland, Oregon.

The wife has extended family who live in Portland. From what I know of their sexual escapades, I'm thinking the mystery's solved.

Plus, Portland was home to Oregon's sexiest band:

61m6l2Kx77L.jpg

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English cricket team playing in Cardiff against Australia.

Might sound ridiculous, until you realise it's the England and Wales cricket team.

The board that oversee the team decided that England and Wales was just too long and instead of EWCB (England Wales cricket board) they decided to drop the Wales.

It's farcical :lol:

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English cricket team playing in Cardiff against Australia.

Might sound ridiculous, until you realise it's the England and Wales cricket team.

The board that oversee the team decided that England and Wales was just too long and instead of EWCB (England Wales cricket board) they decided to drop the Wales.

It's farcical :lol:

Captain of the England and Wales cricket team is also Irish is he not? :lol:

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English cricket team playing in Cardiff against Australia.

Might sound ridiculous, until you realise it's the England and Wales cricket team.

The board that oversee the team decided that England and Wales was just too long and instead of EWCB (England Wales cricket board) they decided to drop the Wales.

It's farcical :lol:

That happened in 1997. First that then the Princess of Wales. Tough year for the Taffys.

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To be fair to the people of Portland, timber isn't the most exciting thing to be well known for.

I wonder if their MLS club will rebrand?

Portland Buttplugs doesn't quite have the same ring to it.

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My work pc is down and I've no idea when it will finally reboot. Until it does (if it does) I'm completely at a loose end as all the work I had scheduled for myself for today is computer based.

Mate was in a similar position today. IT came round to take his laptop away, emailed him later to say it was being fixed and that it would be back in 5 working days. Our roles are entirely computer based!

Pub?

Yes, get them in.

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