Alex_14 Posted April 22, 2015 Share Posted April 22, 2015 Initially read that as TP, as in Toilet Paper There was something so exciting about going commando for the rest of the night, in fairness. You could be on to something. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BFTD Posted April 22, 2015 Share Posted April 22, 2015 There was something so exciting about going commando for the rest of the night, in fairness. You could be on to something. It gets more exciting as your ageing sphincter starts to give up the ghost. Not in a good way, sadly 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mark Connolly Posted April 22, 2015 Share Posted April 22, 2015 With trouble brewing downstairs, and just having had a conversation with a coyote that sounded like Johnny Cash, I feel I may have overdone the chillies in my dinner. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jagfox Posted April 22, 2015 Share Posted April 22, 2015 Contestant or host? Was one of the "certain situations" anything to do with being trapped in a eco-dome with Jennifer Lawrence? Contestant mate. Good fun but the player won even though I'd got it down to the last two. Surprised as I misread the card and I thought I was the player 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sjc Posted April 22, 2015 Share Posted April 22, 2015 It gets more exciting as your ageing sphincter starts to give up the ghost. Not in a good way, sadly Arse Roulette.....there's very little to gain in that game imo. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BigMartyn86 Posted April 22, 2015 Share Posted April 22, 2015 I pushed a car into a wall tonight. Walking up to the Recs to play football and this old guy has broken down at the roundabout at the police station. I saw him struggling to push it so decided to help and then a van driver got out to help as well. We got it around the roundabout and the old boy said push it down Church Street we told him to jump in and steer/pull the handbrake up but he insisted it was ok he would push we told him to jump in again and he refused. Next thing you know his car is rolling down the hill and across the road and smashes into the wall. Van driver says he's leaving so goes away and I check the old boy is ok. I couldn't push the car away so told the old boy I'm going as well and that I would call the police to assist him. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RoversMad Posted April 22, 2015 Share Posted April 22, 2015 Drove past Billy Brown today at Musselburgh racecourse. He was cycling a bike and wearing Hearts trackie bottoms and a Hearts jacket. Gave him a look and he looked raging. Regretted not asking him if he was strugglin' seconds later.should have asked him where he's been, and what he's done... 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RoversMad Posted April 22, 2015 Share Posted April 22, 2015 Had to wipe with kitchen roll after i shat earlier as have no shit tickets left til the shop arrives '> 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BFTD Posted April 22, 2015 Share Posted April 22, 2015 I pushed a car into a wall tonight. Walking up to the Recs to play football and this old guy has broken down at the roundabout at the police station. I saw him struggling to push it so decided to help and then a van driver got out to help as well. We got it around the roundabout and the old boy said push it down Church Street we told him to jump in and steer/pull the handbrake up but he insisted it was ok he would push we told him to jump in again and he refused. Next thing you know his car is rolling down the hill and across the road and smashes into the wall. Van driver says he's leaving so goes away and I check the old boy is ok. I couldn't push the car away so told the old boy I'm going as well and that I would call the police to assist him. What did you all think was going to happen on the hill? Wait a minute...Church Street? Brb, need to check something in the front garden 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BigMartyn86 Posted April 22, 2015 Share Posted April 22, 2015 What did you all think was going to happen on the hill? Wait a minute...Church Street? Brb, need to check something in the front garden Me and the van driver kept telling him to jump in but he wouldn't do it. It was a clapped out Polo estate it had more rust on it than paint haha. When I was walking home it had disappeared. In future I'll just dinghy any c**t wanting a hand haha. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jan Vojáček Posted April 22, 2015 Share Posted April 22, 2015 Referee awarded a goal against the boys club I coach tonight "because the 'keeper was playing him onside". This was after awarding a free-kick for a pass back where none of our players touched the ball and then asking a few players if it was direct. I'm absolutely seething, he was an obnoxious tw@t as well. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BFTD Posted April 22, 2015 Share Posted April 22, 2015 Contestant mate. Good fun but the player won even though I'd got it down to the last two. Surprised as I misread the card and I thought I was the player Let us know if they ever put it up on YouTube or anything - always nice to see fellow P&Bers so I can add to my stalking list. Arse Roulette.....there's very little to gain in that game imo. Better title for a game show than Jaggy's one though. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BFTD Posted April 22, 2015 Share Posted April 22, 2015 Referee awarded a goal against the boys club I coach tonight "because the 'keeper was playing him onside". This was after awarding a free-kick for a pass back where none of our players touched the ball and then asking a few players if it was direct. I'm absolutely seething, he was an obnoxious tw@t as well. Stick-on for next year's Premiership shortlist IMO. Sorry, forgot I'm not a Celtic fan for a minute. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jan Vojáček Posted April 22, 2015 Share Posted April 22, 2015 Stick-on for next year's Premiership shortlist IMO. Sorry, forgot I'm not a Celtic fan for a minute. It's a conspiracy, all a conspiracy. Everyone is being conspiracied. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BFTD Posted April 22, 2015 Share Posted April 22, 2015 Me and the van driver kept telling him to jump in but he wouldn't do it. It was a clapped out Polo estate it had more rust on it than paint haha. When I was walking home it had disappeared. In future I'll just dinghy any c**t wanting a hand haha. Took Wasps1 ages to push the bloody thing back up the hill. I asked him if he thought it'd start, but he said it might come on for The Chop if we're ahead at half-time. Thank you, try the veal, I'll be here all week 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jan Vojáček Posted April 22, 2015 Share Posted April 22, 2015 Fire off a letter. I'm going to once I've simmered down a bit. He had an observer and quite a few Cat 1 refs watching him tonight from the sidelines (they train at the same time as the match was being played) and they were struggling to justify the decisions made by the calamity with the whistle. I've never seen a display so horrendous, the only thing that observer said was "Well, it is his first season". I don't give a flying focus how inexperienced he is. I've never been on any refereeing course and I know the 'keeper can't play someone onside. To top it off he argued with me that their player was onside because "he was in the centre circle"...he was in the attacking half. He was a shambles and I hope I never have the misfortune of ever seeing him again. ^^^Sobbing uncontrollably ^^^^Seething 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lyle Lanley Posted April 22, 2015 Share Posted April 22, 2015 (edited) Left my wallet on the bus today. . Edited April 22, 2015 by SOL II 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pepper Posted April 22, 2015 Share Posted April 22, 2015 I've never been on any refereeing course and I know the 'keeper can't play someone onside. I hate to break it to you but he quite clearly can if there's another defender between him and the bye line i.e. he's the second to last opponent player. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jan Vojáček Posted April 22, 2015 Share Posted April 22, 2015 I hate to break it to you but he quite clearly can if there's another defender between him and the bye line i.e. he's the second to last opponent player.He was the last man. It was a driven cross into the area, the only person between the striker and the goal was the 'keeper. The last defender was 2-3 yards further forward.Or have I got something wrong? As I said I'm no ref but in order for a player to be onside he must be behind the final outfield player (or the ball, or in his own half) at the time the pass is made. He was beyond the final outfield player, ahead of the ball in the attacking half. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pepper Posted April 22, 2015 Share Posted April 22, 2015 (edited) He was the last man. It was a driven cross into the area, the only person between the striker and the goal was the 'keeper. The last defender was 2-3 yards further forward. Or have I got something wrong? As I said I'm no ref but in order for a player to be onside he must be behind the final outfield player (or the ball, or in his own half) at the time the pass is made. He was beyond the final outfield player, ahead of the ball in the attacking half. In the situation you describe he was offside but your understanding of the rule is incorrect. To be offside you must be beyond the second to last opponent player in the opposition half when the ball is played towards the opponents goal by your own player. In most cases the second to last opponent player is an outfield player but it can be the keeper who plays your player on side if there is another one of his players between him and the bye line, hence making him the second to last opponent player. Being a keeper or outfield player makes no difference, it's whether he's the second to last opponent player that counts. Edited April 22, 2015 by Pepper 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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