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A Pome for Philpy

There was a young man of Black Bay,
Who thought syphilis just went away,
And felt that a chancre,
Was merely a canker,
Acquired in lascivious play.

Now first he got acne vulgaris,
The kind that is rampant in Paris,
It covered his skin,
From forehead to shin,
And now people ask where his hair is.

With symptoms increasing in number,
His aorta’s in need of a plumber,
His heart is cavorting,
His wife is aborting,
And now he’s acquired a gumma.

Consider his terrible plight,
His eyes won’t react to the light,
His hands are apraxic
His gait is ataxic,
He’s developing gun-barrell sight.

His passions are strong, as before,
But his penis is flaccid, and sore,
His wife now has tabes
And sabre-shinned babies,
She’s really worse off than a whore.

There are pains in his belly and knees,
His sphincters have gone by degrees,
Paroxysmal incontinence,
With all its concomitants,
Brings on quite unpredictable pees.

Though treated in every known way,
His spirochetes grow day by day,
He’s developed paresis,
Converses with Jesus,
And thinks he’s the Queen of the May.

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Last day of the holiday today. Probably should be more miserable but I've got another one in three weeks time.


Mine is today, I can't wait to get back into work tomorrow, probably get more peace and quiet at work than I get at home tbh.
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Aye got the pelters for coming back and the dundee are shite. Pretty much what I expected.
Need more to life than this though

Did you give them pelters when you left? "Aye, enjoying working for a shop ya brain dead mutants, I'm off to the big time!"
There is more to your life than work though, mate. Irn bru for one.
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