DA Baracus Posted October 1, 2020 Share Posted October 1, 2020 17 minutes ago, tamthebam said: After Brexit and when Boris and his nasty mates have flogged everything off it'll have to be the Oor Wullie tooth extraction technique of string around a door handle. The dentist did offer to whip the tooth out on Monday then and there (it's one of the procedures they can do right away) but cautioned against it and I was inclined to agree. Forgot to add that in March I woke up one Sunday morning with what felt like a shard of metal in my eye. After rinsing the eye for a good ten minutes, I had to conclude that it was fucked in some way, so had to chance A&E. This was very shortly after lockdown began. A&E was empty so got seen pretty quick by an on call doctor and got punted upstairs to get a more thorough examination from an optometrist consultant. After another examination she quickly diagnosed a cyst on my eye and gave me some eye drops. She also prescribed me some eye gel. Unfortunately the pharmacies I tried didn't stock it. The consultant said this might happen and had said to phone her if it did, so I did the next day. She pulled some behind the scenes strings and said she had procured a tube of said gel and said to meet her later in the main concourse of Ninewells. I fired down and got the gel and was profusely thankful. She had taken time out of her mental schedule to not only get the gel but wait for me to hand it over in person. Great service and again the total cost was £0. In the American health system that would have been at least many hundreds of dollars. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sergeant Wilson Posted October 1, 2020 Share Posted October 1, 2020 Just now, Snafu said: The very last one died in captivity in a big soup pot. FTFY 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Melanius Mullarkey Posted October 1, 2020 Share Posted October 1, 2020 16 minutes ago, DA Baracus said: The dentist did offer to whip the tooth out on Monday then and there (it's one of the procedures they can do right away) but cautioned against it and I was inclined to agree. Forgot to add that in March I woke up one Sunday morning with what felt like a shard of metal in my eye. After rinsing the eye for a good ten minutes, I had to conclude that it was fucked in some way, so had to chance A&E. This was very shortly after lockdown began. A&E was empty so got seen pretty quick by an on call doctor and got punted upstairs to get a more thorough examination from an optometrist consultant. After another examination she quickly diagnosed a cyst on my eye and gave me some eye drops. She also prescribed me some eye gel. Unfortunately the pharmacies I tried didn't stock it. The consultant said this might happen and had said to phone her if it did, so I did the next day. She pulled some behind the scenes strings and said she had procured a tube of said gel and said to meet her later in the main concourse of Ninewells. I fired down and got the gel and was profusely thankful. She had taken time out of her mental schedule to not only get the gel but wait for me to hand it over in person. Great service and again the total cost was £0. In the American health system that would have been at least many hundreds of dollars. Get her pumped. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sergeant Wilson Posted October 1, 2020 Share Posted October 1, 2020 5 minutes ago, Snafu said: Before or after being inseminated? You're putting me off it now. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Academically Deficient Posted October 1, 2020 Share Posted October 1, 2020 1 hour ago, tamthebam said: Up until the 1960s Albion Rovers' colours were blue and white I didn't know that. Checked the Historical Football Kits site, and not only were the shirts blue, but the rest of the kit went out of it's way to antagonize the locals as well 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sergeant Wilson Posted October 1, 2020 Share Posted October 1, 2020 8 minutes ago, Academically Deficient said: I didn't know that. Checked the Historical Football Kits site, and not only were the shirts blue, but the rest of the kit went out of it's way to antagonize the locals as well Spot when Tam Fagan found out yellow shirts were 10 bob cheaper than any other colour. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Academically Deficient Posted October 1, 2020 Share Posted October 1, 2020 52 minutes ago, Sergeant Wilson said: I can hazard a guess where they've gone. Not sure if it's the same species, but I recall a tv documentary about an island, maybe in the S. Pacific? Anyway, some colonists found it and, getting a tad peckish, made soup out out of the giant turtles that were indigenous. Turns out they were like 4-legged pakora - super tasty and addictive. So, eventually they get down to the last pair with still the option to breed more. But nah. f**k it, cant resist. Ate them. Turtles no more. Easy to judge, until you find yourself eating the last of the wean's selection box, knowing the grief its going to cause. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dan Steele Posted October 1, 2020 Share Posted October 1, 2020 3 minutes ago, Academically Deficient said: Turns out they were like 4-legged pakora - super tasty and addictive. Wife just asked what I'm laughing at. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shandon Par Posted October 1, 2020 Share Posted October 1, 2020 On 29/09/2020 at 19:00, Mark Connolly said: Granny Danger looks nothing like I imagined 1 hour ago, Snafu said: Having a look at the animals that have been labelled extinct this year and among them... “I’ve got a swimming pool you little b*****d” That’s how I picture him anyway. 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MONKMAN Posted October 1, 2020 Share Posted October 1, 2020 Great service and again the total cost was £0. In the American health system that would have been at least many hundreds of dollars. 66% of bankruptcy cases in the US are from unpaid medical bills. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DA Baracus Posted October 1, 2020 Share Posted October 1, 2020 19 minutes ago, MONKMAN said: 66% of bankruptcy cases in the US are from unpaid medical bills. The figures are mental. They really pursue folk hard for medical bills (most of which are ludicrously expensive and are pretty much extortion). 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BillyAnchor Posted October 1, 2020 Share Posted October 1, 2020 The Fonz would say to people, "Sit on it". He was cool. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ICTChris Posted October 1, 2020 Share Posted October 1, 2020 The Azeri army has released a music video as part of its war on Armenia. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tamthebam Posted October 1, 2020 Share Posted October 1, 2020 2 hours ago, Academically Deficient said: I didn't know that. Checked the Historical Football Kits site, and not only were the shirts blue, but the rest of the kit went out of it's way to antagonize the locals as well And Jock Stein, a Rovers player in the 40s, would have played in that vaguely staunch kit too! 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tony Ferrino Posted October 1, 2020 Share Posted October 1, 2020 4 hours ago, Theroadlesstravelled said: Chrissy Teigen and John Legend lose their child after pregnancy complications. At a time of such grief why would they want to publicise this picture? Weird to publicise it. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tony Ferrino Posted October 1, 2020 Share Posted October 1, 2020 1 hour ago, BillyAnchor said: The Fonz would say to people, "Sit on it". He was cool. Happy days. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dee Man Posted October 2, 2020 Share Posted October 2, 2020 8 hours ago, Academically Deficient said: Not sure if it's the same species, but I recall a tv documentary about an island, maybe in the S. Pacific? Anyway, some colonists found it and, getting a tad peckish, made soup out out of the giant turtles that were indigenous. Turns out they were like 4-legged pakora - super tasty and addictive. So, eventually they get down to the last pair with still the option to breed more. But nah. f**k it, cant resist. Ate them. Turtles no more. Easy to judge, until you find yourself eating the last of the wean's selection box, knowing the grief its going to cause. Unfortunately you can't just nip down to Asda for a replacement turtle. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shandon Par Posted October 2, 2020 Share Posted October 2, 2020 (edited) Man stabs wife and lover. Tragic story. https://www.standard.co.uk/news/crime/murder-wife-love-head-teacher-new-years-day-a4561006.html The killer’s mum could perhaps have done a bit more. Son pops in at 4am for a cup of tea and to borrow some big knives, Goodfellas style, and to tell mum he’ll see her in 25 years as he’s off to murder the wife and her lover. Mum phones the police after he leaves. Operator asks if she has called the wife to warn that a madman is en-route and she says no, as she “wouldn’t know what to say to her”. Edited October 2, 2020 by Shandön Par 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eednud Posted October 2, 2020 Share Posted October 2, 2020 Unfortunately you can't just nip down to Asda for a replacement turtle. Might be time to bring this back. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bert Raccoon Posted October 2, 2020 Share Posted October 2, 2020 6 minutes ago, Eednud said: Might be time to bring this back. Can you dig it? 7 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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