ajwffc Posted November 6, 2018 Share Posted November 6, 2018 7 hours ago, Estragon said: @ajwffc - I'm going to risk having to take this to the unpopular opinions thread, but I actually think Lorna the laureate is improving with her recent venture. Still way too long, and far too much repetition - but she's starting to play about with lineation, contrasting the visual look of it with how it sounds when read aloud. Decent subject matter as well. It's still pish, but they were previously totally pish. Huge improvement from that wittering garbage about cash machines. her latest one about Guy Fawkes night Guy Fawkes nicht Hilarity. Bang goes the firework Weavin’ through the sky The puir wee frightened wumman Wis heard tae screech an’ cry. Afore the firework came tae rest Upon her sorry heid She ran a mile an’ back agin Fell tae the groond near deid. They carried her awa sae fast Her face wis white as chalk The fireworks still were goin’ aff Enough tae mac ye boke. The ambulance wis soon tae come An’ screeched up, tae a halt Anither firework fell tae groond It wisnie nobody’s fault. The wumman gote an awfy fright While lyin’ oan the stretcher She jumped back aff, an’ ran away Sae fast, no one could catch her. The moral o’ the story is To never venture out Especially on this Fireworks night In case you hear an’ eerie shout. The spirit o’ the wumman floats Aboot the streets whaur she Wis struck doon wi’ a firework That wumman, she wis ME! Lorna Johnston. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Moomintroll Posted November 6, 2018 Share Posted November 6, 2018 4 minutes ago, ajwffc said: her latest one about Guy Fawkes night Guy Fawkes nicht Hilarity. Bang goes the firework Weavin’ through the sky The puir wee frightened wumman Wis heard tae screech an’ cry. Afore the firework came tae rest Upon her sorry heid She ran a mile an’ back agin Fell tae the groond near deid. They carried her awa sae fast Her face wis white as chalk The fireworks still were goin’ aff Enough tae mac ye boke. The ambulance wis soon tae come An’ screeched up, tae a halt Anither firework fell tae groond It wisnie nobody’s fault. The wumman gote an awfy fright While lyin’ oan the stretcher She jumped back aff, an’ ran away Sae fast, no one could catch her. The moral o’ the story is To never venture out Especially on this Fireworks night In case you hear an’ eerie shout. The spirit o’ the wumman floats Aboot the streets whaur she Wis struck doon wi’ a firework That wumman, she wis ME! Lorna Johnston. Give that a Chorus & sing it to the tune of The Unforgiven by Metallica and it almost works. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
upsidedownturtle Posted November 6, 2018 Share Posted November 6, 2018 One of those pictures is unlike the others 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Benjamin_Nevis Posted November 6, 2018 Share Posted November 6, 2018 One of those pictures is unlike the others Absolute certainty that's a Rangers fan [emoji38] 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Swarley Posted November 7, 2018 Share Posted November 7, 2018 Confused. If the fire wood is free why does it say £1? Does the fire wood cost £1 but the phone is free? Maybe it'll be clearer in 2050. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scary Bear Posted November 7, 2018 Share Posted November 7, 2018 One of those pictures is unlike the others I buy your cheeeeldren. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JakeSAFC Posted November 7, 2018 Share Posted November 7, 2018 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jeek Posted November 7, 2018 Share Posted November 7, 2018 I heard it's a custom job by Gareth cash 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheCelt67 Posted November 7, 2018 Share Posted November 7, 2018 2 hours ago, JakeSAFC said: 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ajwffc Posted November 8, 2018 Share Posted November 8, 2018 . 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Highland Capital Posted November 8, 2018 Share Posted November 8, 2018 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
resk Posted November 8, 2018 Share Posted November 8, 2018 . Holy fk that is bad. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jamieson87 Posted November 8, 2018 Share Posted November 8, 2018 6 hours ago, ajwffc said: . Beautiful. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ShaggysBeard Posted November 8, 2018 Share Posted November 8, 2018 On 15/10/2018 at 05:36, Swarley said: I usually think of these sort of things as morons, but a certain amount of intelligence needed to detect the passive aggressive sarcastic point. I can only assume it's a moron who thinks they are promoting the need for routers in trees. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shandon Par Posted November 8, 2018 Share Posted November 8, 2018 On 11/6/2018 at 18:46, Moomintroll said: Give that a Chorus & sing it to the tune of The Unforgiven by Metallica and it almost works. I was thinking more Nothing Else Matters. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Boghead ranter Posted November 8, 2018 Share Posted November 8, 2018 Dumbarton Memories has been fairly normal recently ( or as close to normal as it gets ), but there was a thread raised a couple of days ago about "what year was the Erskine Bridge built?" Aside from being easily Googleable, and also a procession of people who don't read the previous answers and just type "1971", I'd like to thank Margaret for her momentous contribution to the debate. 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NJ2 Posted November 8, 2018 Share Posted November 8, 2018 . Lorna has taken a more rhyming and aggressive route. Probably better than her previous efforts, still not for me. Dumbarton Memories has been fairly normal recently ( or as close to normal as it gets ), but there was a thread raised a couple of days ago about "what year was the Erskine Bridge built?" Aside from being easily Googleable, and also a procession of people who don't read the previous answers and just type "1971", I'd like to thank Margaret for her momentous contribution to the debate. Bridge is a bridge, and if he worked on one he probably worked on them all tbh 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hampden Diehard Posted November 9, 2018 Share Posted November 9, 2018 A football "academy" looking for new players with experience of playing in a team ..... this is for their 2010 squad, so these kids will be 7 or 8. What happened to kids just playing for the fun of it? Are you finished at age 8? 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Torpar Posted November 10, 2018 Share Posted November 10, 2018 Leash we forget 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ICTChris Posted November 12, 2018 Share Posted November 12, 2018 Someone has posted these screen grabs on my Twitter feed and they are something. From a Princess Diana Facebook group 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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