Tamdunk Posted December 3, 2012 Share Posted December 3, 2012 I had a neighbour who was a smackhead when i stayed in Bonnybridge a few years back and someone came to my door looking for him, Needles to say a few words we exchanged and he was sent on his way.Next day i saw the smackhead and told him that if the guy ever came to my door again i would hold him responsible,He said don't worry he won't as he killed himself last night 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Psychedelic Posted December 3, 2012 Share Posted December 3, 2012 The bloke upstairs from me blasts Dance music from Midday to about 2am every day of the week, then has the audacity to complain if I'm listening to music or even having a loud-ish conversation after that time. He's a gimp. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DAFC Posted December 18, 2012 Author Share Posted December 18, 2012 Had a dodgy curry on Sunday and had one or two visits two the toilet. Nice neighbour has been waiting 'till I go to bed then flushing her toilet on average ten times an hour for about two hours. On top of sitting in the dark all day and her boyfriend leaving it just screams mental breakdown to me. Fucking hope so. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mattydfc Posted December 18, 2012 Share Posted December 18, 2012 I really want too meet your neighbours. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tinkerbelle Posted December 18, 2012 Share Posted December 18, 2012 1355843978[/url]' post='6903865']I really want too meet your neighbours. Whatever you do, don't shag them until you've seen the doctor first 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cyderspaceman Posted December 18, 2012 Share Posted December 18, 2012 Barclay brothers anyone? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Granny Danger Posted December 18, 2012 Share Posted December 18, 2012 Barclay brothers anyone? They don't play music until two in the morning. They just get their lawyers to write to you to say they can play their music until two in the morning if they want and if you don't accept that then you're being unreasonable. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Honest_Man#1 Posted December 18, 2012 Share Posted December 18, 2012 Whatever you do, don't shag them until you've seen the doctor first Sounds like DAFC would live to have matty infect them both tbh, or at least rub his diseased cock on most of their possessions. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DAFC Posted May 1, 2013 Author Share Posted May 1, 2013 Painted the top of the shared fence, which was already one colour, the same colour. I shouted back but only after losing the plot as they couldn't win their arguement and started just making things up and lying. Had to walk away as two years worth of annoyance and rage just built up and actually thought about pouring the paint on their heads. Don't think the police would take my side as it seems everything is built up nowadays to pander towards arseholes who cheat the system rather than go out and try to earn an honest living. As mentioned it's not cool to attack disabled people, even when they are complete c-units. Last night before I went off to the gym shut my window upstairs and noticed one of them ducking down out of sight at the fence. Woke up this morning to find a red piece of string tied onto the fence from the houses out to the end but totally skewed towards my house at an angle, probably two feet inside my property and making it look like the tree in my garden is over their side. Means they must've had to lean over using a ladder and they've also nailed it into the neighbours shed at the back. I'm guessing they're going to try and say that the shared fence has been built more on their side. If so we're talking inches here. What the f**k is wrong with some people? I was sure that they were getting their dog to run into the fence by throwing the ball against it to make it buckle towards my side. Dreading speaking to them now as I know they will be looking for an arguement again. Get a job and a life you sad twisted weirdos. Can you buy machine guns on ebay? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
speckled tangerine Posted May 1, 2013 Share Posted May 1, 2013 Cut down the tree DAFC and chuck it over onto their side. Take a trip out to dobbies and buy another one, something nice like an apple tree and plant it on the opposite side of your garden. Invite a local dignitary to ceremonially pat down the final sod - Jim Leishman say - and when they start shouting abuse he can evict them as heid of the council! Seriously though mate, what a bunch of wankers! What part of town do you live? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tight minge Posted May 1, 2013 Share Posted May 1, 2013 Had a right idiot live next to me in my first house. Not long afetr moving in he started the odd 'prank' or two even though we didn't know each other. Spekaing to some of the neighbours, it turned out they were both a bit mental and terrorised many of the neighbours who would stick up against him. One particular night he had a birthday party for his wife. 3am and "river deep, mountain high" is blaring out as if Tina Turner is standing at the bottom of our bed beliting it out for us! I go to the door and ask them to turn it down, I'm immediately faced with 10-15 guys wanting to fight me, so I kind of get that the diplomatic approach isnt going to work, so I call the Police. Police come, party goes quiet, please leave, Tina Turner is back for an encore at the foot of the bed. Call the Police again and they come back and break the party up and all goes quiet. Then a short while later there is a constant thud at the front of the house, I look out and the nutter and a friend are throwing things at the house. They then try the front door, I assume ot come in, before starting to shout that "They know where my wife worked and they would get her one night and rape her!" I call the Police again, before the Police come they manage to smash my front window and both are subsequently arrested and charged. They arrive at my door the next day to 'apologise' to which I tell them to f**k off. I get a sunstantial settlement from them via the courts for the damage and inconvience to which their pretty pissed off and try to break into my garage and superglue my backdoor lock. The only thing that stopped all the nonsense was getting a lawyer friend to write a nice leter telling them we would be taking out a restraining order against them. That done the trick and the kicking he got one night by surprise a month or so later. Thought that was the end of my crazy neighbours, but when I moved to Budapest, I had a guy stay in the flat next to us who fair liked the prostitutes. Never seen him, but he liked them loud at night, screaming, banging, the first time it started, I thought next door were making a prono! This continued every night for weeks, leaving me bleary eyed at work every morning, until one night, coming up in the lift with this girl who turns out to be his conquest for the night. As it was a buzzer entry building, as I stepped out the lift, he was standing at the door, in nifty pants and an open dressing gown leaning against thr door frame casually, expecting the young lady to step out the lift. I ripped into him as it was the first time I'd seen him, trying to be angry, but in fits of laughter. I'm not sure how much English he understood, but we never heard anything again. The worst are the Chinese and Filipinos, not nasty, just noisy, noisey fuckers! Crazy neighbours, you just can't beat them the world over 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dindeleux Posted May 1, 2013 Share Posted May 1, 2013 Last night before I went off to the gym shut my window upstairs and noticed one of them ducking down out of sight at the fence. Woke up this morning to find a red piece of string tied onto the fence from the houses out to the end but totally skewed towards my house at an angle, probably two feet inside my property and making it look like the tree in my garden is over their side. Means they must've had to lean over using a ladder and they've also nailed it into the neighbours shed at the back. I'm guessing they're going to try and say that the shared fence has been built more on their side. If so we're talking inches here. What the f**k is wrong with some people? I was sure that they were getting their dog to run into the fence by throwing the ball against it to make it buckle towards my side. Dreading speaking to them now as I know they will be looking for an arguement again. Get a job and a life you sad twisted weirdos. Can you buy machine guns on ebay? Seriously-due to the utter rage I get from reading your posts I would consider coming to speak to your neighbours/wrecking their house. PM the address and let the p+b masses sort this out. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Barrfields_Largs Posted May 1, 2013 Share Posted May 1, 2013 I have the worst neighbours in the world. I had only been in the flat two weeks when my parents came down to check I was settling in. It was Ryder Cup weekend and both myself and my dad are golf fans. I keep the TV @ 15% volume but had it up to 20 on the Sunday. Europes comeback prompted mild celebration (a few "Yasss" shouts and 15-20seconds of laughing). Got a letter through the next morning from the building "committee" telling me that myself and 65year old dad had been "up all night, banging on doors and running down corridors". I laughed, binned the letter and moved on. A few weeks later Scotland were playing Wales in Cardiff and I was going to the pub to watch it. I had a few beers before going out and at 6pm stuck on some tunes for an hour. At 6.15 they banged my door screaming and nearly crying at the "noise" I was making. The male half of the couple attempted to go for me but couldn't lift his arms over his bubbling tears. I diagnosed them as having severe mental health issues, but apparently they are both GPs. Since them I've had my dads car tyres slashed, my door wrote on, countless letters, the police searching my flat for drugs, and constant banging on my walls. Jim, can you fix it for me to have these two fools spontaneously combust? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gaz Posted May 1, 2013 Share Posted May 1, 2013 I feel for you - we had severe problems with our drug-dealing neighbour before we were finally able to move last year. A word of caution, though - there is virtually no way to win against anti-social neighbours, bar moving away. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Quitongo's Left Peg Posted May 1, 2013 Share Posted May 1, 2013 The man in the flat below us is clinically obese, masturbates loudly 24/7 and his flat stinks of animal faeces. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KnightswoodBear Posted May 1, 2013 Share Posted May 1, 2013 The man in the flat below us is clinically obese, masturbates loudly 24/7 and his flat stinks of animal faeces. Is it lonely up there on your pedestal? 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monster Posted May 1, 2013 Share Posted May 1, 2013 My neighbour on one side is not right in the head. He's a single 30 year old male who doesn't like sport of any kind and is utterly addicted to D.I.Y. Every project he embarks upon means weeks of hammering, banging and needless noise. At the moment he's replacing his bathroom (that he put in himself, brand new, less than three years ago) and the hammering starts before nine in the morning and goes on until about half ten at night. He's dumped his three year old bathroom that he's just ripped out on the front lawn as well. He's a fucking imbecile. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
doulikefish Posted May 1, 2013 Share Posted May 1, 2013 My neighbour on one side is not right in the head. He's a single 30 year old male who doesn't like sport of any kind and is utterly addicted to D.I.Y. Every project he embarks upon means weeks of hammering, banging and needless noise. At the moment he's replacing his bathroom (that he put in himself, brand new, less than three years ago) and the hammering starts before nine in the morning and goes on until about half ten at night. He's dumped his three year old bathroom that he's just ripped out on the front lawn as well. He's a fucking imbecile. On the bright side if ayrgirl wants you to do some stuff around the house wait until shes out and invite him over for a cuppa and just mention "the missus wants me to put up shelves" etc etc 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DAFC Posted May 1, 2013 Author Share Posted May 1, 2013 Territory seems like it has been marked, scared to ask incase I burst out laughing to be honest. What next, cut the fence in half? It's an inch of shitty lapping wood not the Falkland Islands. *facepalm* 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mattydfc Posted May 1, 2013 Share Posted May 1, 2013 I'll set their house on fire with them in it if you want? I've always wanted to kill someone. It's number 1 on my to do list. Seriously. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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