Depression

[Dons_1988]

5 hours ago, Daydream said:

This time of year can be a nightmare - all the nights out, drinking etc. Have you ever thought that not touching a drop would be a sensible choice for your future? I have for mine but haven’t managed. I’m able to apply moderation for a while but I always end up blacking out at some point and so the cycle continues.

I’ve known for 20+ years that I’m not really built for alcohol. It messes with my mind.

Take it easy over the festive period.

 

4 hours ago, JTS98 said:

This is very familiar to me. Not always that extreme, but occasionally so. Usually just more of a general malaise or feeling of misery.

I had a busy spell of drinking recently (Christmas etc) but have had the last two nights off. Got up this morning and went for a walk then sat and read a book and had a coffee. Feel a hundred times better than I have done for about two weeks. The bevvy is bad news. My old man used to always say "It's no yer freen that gies ye drink".

I'm gradually getting towards this point. I've not yet worked out how to manage the parts of my life that are quite heavily dependent on alcohol. Certain relationships and activities etc. But I'm 34 and would like to think I'll bin it in the relatively near future. It's bad for me, I don't have a good relationship with it, I do it a lot more than I let on to most people, it makes me feel dreadful.

It has to go, really.

I've considered it definitely.

My mental health has definitely improved significantly if I've cut out or significantly reduced the intake, which definitely has made me think if I should just bin it.

Prior to the weekend I mentioned I'd had a run of about 10 weeks with only drinking once a week, and so long as I got to the gym or for a run on the Sunday I didn't feel any ill effects on my mental health.  In an ideal world I'd like to get to that on a permanent basis.

The bad weekend was 3 days in a row and was just horrible to be honest.  I still love a beer unfortunately but it wouldn't surprise me if one day I binned it completely.

ETA - I signed up to a marathon so that I'm basically committed to not hitting it too hard between now and May, the focus on fitness has been a massive boost to me.

Edited December 17, 2018 by Dons_1988

[Stellaboz]

For G man and anyone else dealing with parents in hospital... Don't forget to let off some steam in the right manner. Slightly ironic after the drink talk in recent posts, I'm not meaning booze.

I mean going for a run, punching a boxing bag, going on a GTA rampage or whatever you do to release. Please remember to give yourself time for this. Im someone who has had to deal with both my parents in hospital for a while there and I'm someone who builds up all the anger, frustration and tears and when it came out, it all came out.

Look after yourself, you're allowed to and I'd recommend not going to drink for the answer. That's a slippy slope if you feel anxiety after it, like I do.

[Dons_1988]

5 minutes ago, Stellaboz said:

For G man and anyone else dealing with parents in hospital... Don't forget to let off some steam in the right manner. Slightly ironic after the drink talk in recent posts, I'm not meaning booze.

I mean going for a run, punching a boxing bag, going on a GTA rampage or whatever you do to release. Please remember to give yourself time for this. Im someone who has had to deal with both my parents in hospital for a while there and I'm someone who builds up all the anger, frustration and tears and when it came out, it all came out.

Look after yourself, you're allowed to and I'd recommend not going to drink for the answer. That's a slippy slope if you feel anxiety after it, like I do.
 

Totally agree.

Couldn't recommend exercise enough as a pick me up or bit of escapism, even if it's just half an hour.

[Stellaboz]

If he doesn't start playing you have my permission to leather the wee c**t.

[DA Baracus]

He’ll be there.

 

Got to agree about the booze. I’ve managed to cut back once again, to the extend that Friday, my work’s night out, was the first time I’d any alcohol at all in a month.

 

I had this past year started drinking more regularly. Previously I had been going weeks or even months without it, but it crept back in. It got to the point where there were times that I physically felt I needed it. I started doing it almost every weekend, almost always by myself (I don’t have any friends in Dundee) in my flat, and often feeling really sorry for myself and depressed. It was this shit that very nearly ended everything a couple of years back. Whilst I didn’t quite get that bad, I did unfortunately fall back on old bad habits. One of these was self harm, meaning I now have a new area of scars that I’m pretty ashamed of. I also got even more lazy and unmotivated and have let myself slip to my work state ever. It’s truly horrible. Also resulted in me getting in to more debt, from which I will be free in February.

 

Not even sure why I stopped. Probably cut it out due to money. There were weekends where I was in the shop with beer in my hand ready to buy it, only to not do so at the last moment. Strangely though it was easier to cut out than other addictions.

 

I like beer. I like drinking with friends and even enjoy the feeling of being a bit drunk. Not too much mind. I won’t be giving it up completely, but will be continuing to only do it with friends and totally cut it out at home when alone.

 

Anyway, had a good night on Friday but was absolutely crippled with anxiety on Saturday, for the stupiest reasons, as I hadn’t even done anything. Corresponded with Stella on Sunday about it which really helped (he’s good like that; top lad). . Still feeling it a little bit, which is very annoying, but it’s fading and so hopefully will f**k right off.

 

Over the last few weeks I’ve being doing a LOT of thinking about my life, and how I’ve thrown it away and have massively fucked it up. It really got me down to the point of thinking some pretty dark thoughts (suicidal). I was struggling with sleep and just feeling crappy and how much I have let myself down.

 

They’ve sort of stopped (mostly), and have now driven me to sort myself out. Plans are in place and I’m hopeful I can finally do it.

[Stellaboz]

Don't be hopeful about it. You can and will. Or I'll fucking leather you myself.

[Dons_1988]

He’ll be there.
 
Got to agree about the booze. I’ve managed to cut back once again, to the extend that Friday, my work’s night out, was the first time I’d any alcohol at all in a month.
 
I had this past year started drinking more regularly. Previously I had been going weeks or even months without it, but it crept back in. It got to the point where there were times that I physically felt I needed it. I started doing it almost every weekend, almost always by myself (I don’t have any friends in Dundee) in my flat, and often feeling really sorry for myself and depressed. It was this shit that very nearly ended everything a couple of years back. Whilst I didn’t quite get that bad, I did unfortunately fall back on old bad habits. One of these was self harm, meaning I now have a new area of scars that I’m pretty ashamed of. I also got even more lazy and unmotivated and have let myself slip to my work state ever. It’s truly horrible. Also resulted in me getting in to more debt, from which I will be free in February.
 
Not even sure why I stopped. Probably cut it out due to money. There were weekends where I was in the shop with beer in my hand ready to buy it, only to not do so at the last moment. Strangely though it was easier to cut out than other addictions.
 
I like beer. I like drinking with friends and even enjoy the feeling of being a bit drunk. Not too much mind. I won’t be giving it up completely, but will be continuing to only do it with friends and totally cut it out at home when alone.
 
Anyway, had a good night on Friday but was absolutely crippled with anxiety on Saturday, for the stupiest reasons, as I hadn’t even done anything. Corresponded with Stella on Sunday about it which really helped (he’s good like that; top lad). . Still feeling it a little bit, which is very annoying, but it’s fading and so hopefully will f**k right off.
 
Over the last few weeks I’ve being doing a LOT of thinking about my life, and how I’ve thrown it away and have massively fucked it up. It really got me down to the point of thinking some pretty dark thoughts (suicidal). I was struggling with sleep and just feeling crappy and how much I have let myself down.
 
They’ve sort of stopped (mostly), and have now driven me to sort myself out. Plans are in place and I’m hopeful I can finally do it.

Can relate a lot to this.

You’re on the right track with booze and exercise etc.

I’ve always found first 2/3 weeks are hard as f**k but if you push through it the head starts to clear, the weight (for me needed) starts coming down and momentum builds and builds.

What gets me through first few weeks is just taking one day at a time, knowing at the end of each day I’ve done the right things and nothing stupid like a beer by myself or something, and that it’s just another step towards the right result.

Takes time but it will feel great.

[Melanius Mullarkey]

1 hour ago, DA Baracus said:

He’ll be there.

 

[NJ2]

I can’t wait for DA to get to this fives, get himself in shape and throw Stella about like an empty tracksuit. Get this on the P&B fight night card. Shandon/Deontay can train Stella, he’s forever getting black eyes and bleeding noses

[DA Baracus]

Stella ran away to Germany to escape me as I've been threatening to burst him for years.

[welshbairn]

Stella's the first Scot to escape to Germany and complain that the trains don't run on time.

[supermik]

2 hours ago, Stellaboz said:

Don't be hopeful about it. You can and will. Or I'll fucking leather you myself.

You know the Ruels.

[Guest JTS98]

12 hours ago, DA Baracus said:

Over the last few weeks I’ve being doing a LOT of thinking about my life, and how I’ve thrown it away and have massively fucked it up. It really got me down to the point of thinking some pretty dark thoughts (suicidal). I was struggling with sleep and just feeling crappy and how much I have let myself down.

You probably have let yourself down in some ways, I think almost everybody has. The key to that is remembering that that's just part of life.

I don't have anything like as much money put away as I should have, I haven't put in enough effort at my job and as a result am not as far up the ladder as I should be considering I'm pretty much a natural at it, I've made pretty poor lifestyle choices which may well lead to health trouble down the line, I've lost touch with some good mates down to laziness.

We all do it in different ways. None of us are really that bright. Just start from where you are and make wee changes. See below, but I personally find post-it notes helpful.

11 hours ago, Dons_1988 said:

What gets me through first few weeks is just taking one day at a time, knowing at the end of each day I’ve done the right things and nothing stupid like a beer by myself or something, and that it’s just another step towards the right result.
 

 

Sounds daft, but I've taken to leaving a post-it note on my door which says 'Don't buy bevvy today - you'll feel shite". It's helped me cut out the boredom drinking at home on nights with nothing to do. I've not had a drink alone in the flat for a week. Doesn't sound much, but typically at least once a week I'd have sat in the flat getting pished by myself, just because. Then I'd wake up the next day with a hangover wondering why the f**k I'd done that.

My wee note seems to work. I've not stopped drinking, I was out with a mate on Saturday and am going out again this Friday, but the wee note seems to have helped each day.

[Raidernation]

I’m fucking lonely.
Also spent several days in hospital this week with serious heart arrhythmia , 200 bpm is pretty serious apparently and I’m allergic to aspirin so that’s our the window.
I’m sad, depressed, scared and ,genuinely fucked.
Merry Christmas

[ecto]

When you wake up in the morning open your eyes and it's pitch black even on the brightest of days, when everything and I mean everything is just about as difficult as it could be and its lmpossible to focus on anything other than getting through the next 60 seconds, then the next 60 seconds and so on, when the only slight relief is closing your eyes at night, and sometimes you are not bothered whether you wake up or not, 15 years ago, I was that soldier, never forget there is always someone willing to listen and help, no matter what you think you are not alone

[D.A.F.C]

Been reading over the last few pages and can relate to a lot of stuff. Hope everyone is ok over the next few weeks. Don't drink to get away from feeling down it makes things ten times worse. If your friends don't get it then they're not worth knowing.
Have a drink like you enjoy a nice juice or piece of food. That's how I view it now. You wouldn't eat 10 sandwiches so why drink ten pints in one go?
I hate the machismo attitude to drinking in Scotland its pathetic.

[NJ2]

I have a serious dislike for this time of year but feel somewhat guilty about it

[energyzone]

I have a serious dislike for this time of year but feel somewhat guilty about it

So do I. I should love it as well having kids but it's awful for some reason.

[NJ2]

So do I. I should love it as well having kids but it's awful for some reason.

Being single with no kids etc has made me think it’s just because I see everyone coming together with theirs. Half blamed my ex for she always made a big deal of it (as did her family) but I just couldn’t be fucked with it then either. Days of nothing except expectancy that you’re “enjoying yourself”. Feels a real struggle round this time of year for me.

[Raidernation]

Well I truly fucked up, Christmas Day on my own got to me and between about 3pm and 8am on Boxing Day tanked a liter and 3/4 of vodka (don’t even like vodka)

Was found face down and unconscious On thy floor on my bathroom, some interesting bruises, blood alcohol of 0.465% and 4 days in hospital with apparently encephalopathy and should probably be in a coma or dead.

Stupid, stupid c**t!