Ad Lib Posted December 4, 2013 Share Posted December 4, 2013 At the moment, I'm pretty stressed out due to exams but I have completely lost any motivation to study anymore. I'm in a Law degree but I don't want to be a lawyer any more,it's filled with wankers and I just can't be bothered with it anymore, I'm at the stage where I probably have to repeat a year if I decide to change course .But It's almost like I subconsciously want to fail. I had to work pretty hard to get to this point and it's not what I expected. Now slaving away for hours on end is becoming harder to do. It's a brilliant thread and if anyone wants someone to talk to I'm all ears... Sometimes Law is just like that, Sloop. I spent 2 years being a bit ambivalent about whether it was what I wanted to be doing with my life and there are moments when you really want to tear your hair out. When you get to the end though (and most do) the feeling then is worth it and then some. Even if you don't want to become a lawyer you will find that your degree has given you skills that set you up well in other environments. For some people law just isn't for them and for others it takes something they can latch into and be interested in that makes the difference. I found I enjoyed my law degree much more when I got involved in a society on campus with everyone from theoretical physicists, to economics students, to medics, chemists, historians and so on and found something I could escape to. Maybe think about what you can do outside of your academic life to get your mojo back. And if all else fails, it's not the end of the world by any stretch if you change course. Some of the smartest people I know from Uni had to repeat years for personal reasons. It's what you do with that second start that counts, so talk it over with advisers, friends and family and they'll almost certainly stick by you, whatever you decide. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DA Baracus Posted December 4, 2013 Share Posted December 4, 2013 Unis are actually usually very helpful and do their utmost to get students to pass. They are also usually quite adept at telling the difference between a waster and someone with genuine problems. If they recognise that you are the latter they will usually do things like offer assistance with studying, grant extension on coursework and let you sit resits without losing a 'shot' (some unis only let you sit an exam a certain amount of times). Most universities also have a counselling service that is free for students to use. I saw one when I was at uni at it was very helpful. It's also a good idea to speak to your tutor or whoever it is that 'looks after you' so to speak about any concerns over your course. It's their job to help you and most are happy to do so and will probably have heard similar concerns before so will be in a good position to help. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
P.C Posted December 4, 2013 Share Posted December 4, 2013 Agree with what has been said with the relationship stuff. I had been out of relationships for years aside for random one night stands and 2/3 date numbers. Tho as much as its seen as desperate or sad the online dating thing isn't actually that bad, ive actually managed to get dates with girls who are massively out of my league due to my personality (who knew eh?) and still friends with a few i met on said sites. Agree it is difficult to meet women tho, by the time i get confidence to speak to one im usually gibbering crap and has lead to some epic stories which my mates love to tell to people and to be fair I can laugh about most of them I was in a relationship for just under a year with a girl I used to work with (usually avoid it but she was cute and liked anime...) and we split in June. Just one of those things when we split up it was just the "we aren't spending enough time together" which we werent and was my fault. When I do get involved with someone it gets to a point where I seem to get nervous about if this will be the last girl il date and then my usual thinking about things in the future and how things will work out etc etc The one bit of advice I would pass on again is speak to your mates. You know who your mates are who will keep a secret and who you can confide in. I had something I knew I would struggle with at the weekend and confided in a couple of mates who made sure they took me out and kept me distracted. We didnt talk about it they were just there as mates when I needed them which is a great indication of the quality of mates I have I know sometimes when you are feeling down the last thing you want is company but make sure not to cut yourself off. I have seen myself alot of times in the past cancelling events with mates and just sitting at home myself sometimes with a bottle of vodka. Organise things to get yourself out, mix things up don't keep going to the same places, routine is comfortable but can be a bit negative to your state of mind god my fingers hurt now.. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gorilla Posted December 4, 2013 Share Posted December 4, 2013 Well got a counselling session later this afternoon - my first one so feeling worried about it and all the usual stuff that goes with it. Don't know if its going to help or not. Never had to do this before for myself been there for others going through it. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lyle Lanley Posted December 4, 2013 Share Posted December 4, 2013 Feeling a bit of better after some sleep. Later on is gonna be hard though 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
banterman86 Posted December 4, 2013 Share Posted December 4, 2013 Feeling a bit of better after some sleep. Later on is gonna be hard though Why are you seeing her? I'd suggest just keep some distance just now unless it;s absolutely unavoidable. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DA Baracus Posted December 4, 2013 Share Posted December 4, 2013 Well got a counselling session later this afternoon - my first one so feeling worried about it and all the usual stuff that goes with it. Don't know if its going to help or not. Never had to do this before for myself been there for others going through it. You'll be fine. If you keep in mind that you control the session as you talk about what you want to talk about then it will be alright. You can end the session when you want and you don't have to talk about everything right away. Many people find that they talk a bit about things at first then find they get more comfortable with further sessions. The counsellor is trained to listen and not judge, so don't think they ever are judging you. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lyle Lanley Posted December 4, 2013 Share Posted December 4, 2013 (edited) Why are you seeing her? I'd suggest just keep some distance just now unless it;s absolutely unavoidable. Sorting things out mate I'll be fine after i've met her Edited December 4, 2013 by Isaiah Osbourne 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
P.C Posted December 4, 2013 Share Posted December 4, 2013 after my post i end up bumping into the ex during my lunch in Sainsburys. I tells you 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gorilla Posted December 4, 2013 Share Posted December 4, 2013 You'll be fine. If you keep in mind that you control the session as you talk about what you want to talk about then it will be alright. You can end the session when you want and you don't have to talk about everything right away. Many people find that they talk a bit about things at first then find they get more comfortable with further sessions. The counsellor is trained to listen and not judge, so don't think they ever are judging you. Cheers mate I just hope it helps I know it will go at my pace and that just not sure if I will talk or not. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
banterman86 Posted December 4, 2013 Share Posted December 4, 2013 Sorting things out mate I'll be fine after i've met her properly sorting things out - as in arranging what happens now after living together or joint bills and the like, or is this a closure chat whilst didivng up DVDs? if its the latter I'd really suggest just leaving it for now. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mattydfc Posted December 4, 2013 Share Posted December 4, 2013 Do not have sex with her or even kiss her. Everything will be 1204354 times harder. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
P.C Posted December 4, 2013 Share Posted December 4, 2013 Agreed, post break up nookie is harder. Tho last time it happened to me she answered her door in a school girl outfit. I had no chance 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lyle Lanley Posted December 4, 2013 Share Posted December 4, 2013 properly sorting things out - as in arranging what happens now after living together or joint bills and the like, or is this a closure chat whilst didivng up DVDs? if its the latter I'd really suggest just leaving it for now. just gonna sit and chat mate about things. I'll explain it all tonight on here 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DA Baracus Posted December 4, 2013 Share Posted December 4, 2013 Cheers mate I just hope it helps I know it will go at my pace and that just not sure if I will talk or not. The good thing is is that you don't have to. It's totally up to you. But it's the best environment for it I'd say. No one will ever know except you and who, if anyone, you choose to tell about what you say (or don't say). 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Theo Snelders Posted December 4, 2013 Share Posted December 4, 2013 (edited) Can empathise with the relationship stuff. Been a bit of a serial monoganist but made bad choices in partners. The last one was aware I'd been screwed around with behind my back, and promised he'd just leave if he met someone else. Anyway, after yet another miscarrage, I find out he's been seeing one of our mutual workmates. That was six years ago, no more relationships due to trust issues, and being absolutely broken at the time. Anyway, I know I'm not that well known on here, but also willing to be PM'd if anyone thinks it'd help. Edited December 4, 2013 by Theo Snelders 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
P.C Posted December 4, 2013 Share Posted December 4, 2013 Yeah a relationship I started when I was 17 really put the rest on the rocks for a good few years after, proper Jerry Springer stuff with her having an affair with her dads mate.. Not the best of times but got through it despite her being pregnant from said affair and keeping the kid... 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gorilla Posted December 4, 2013 Share Posted December 4, 2013 Well the first counselling session went well more of a get to know each other affair than getting right down to the issues. Felt happy at that so maybe next time go a bit further and talk about how I feel down and whats causing it. Got talking about some of my likes and mentioned football and the binos that was met with a bit of a laugh and some off the cuff comments about our performance then he admited to having a soft spot for the 'shire but that he was more a rugby supporter cue my comments of egg chaser ect. In all it felt good and friendly think it mat work for me or at least give me somesort of out let and that. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DA Baracus Posted December 4, 2013 Share Posted December 4, 2013 Well the first counselling session went well more of a get to know each other affair than getting right down to the issues. Felt happy at that so maybe next time go a bit further and talk about how I feel down and whats causing it. Got talking about some of my likes and mentioned football and the binos that was met with a bit of a laugh and some off the cuff comments about our performance then he admited to having a soft spot for the 'shire but that he was more a rugby supporter cue my comments of egg chaser ect. In all it felt good and friendly think it mat work for me or at least give me somesort of out let and that. Excellent stuff! 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lyle Lanley Posted December 4, 2013 Share Posted December 4, 2013 (edited) That went well Edited December 4, 2013 by Isaiah Osbourne 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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