DA Baracus Posted March 15, 2015 Share Posted March 15, 2015 I am an emotional retard. I thought I was getting better but have just fallen off a cliff and feel right at the bottom again. I feel a bit trapped. I don't want to sink any further but feel a bit helpless right now. I'm always amazed this is my life and I've managed to so badly f**k it all up. Pretty disguted and ashamed of it really. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lou Brusch Posted March 16, 2015 Share Posted March 16, 2015 Back to square one. Some embarrassing things happening in my life, causing a lot of problems that can be avoided. Never thought I would lift a blade to myself but Saturday night I proved myself wrong. These issues can't be resolved for a while now so I'm feeling even more hopeless than usual which I didn't think was possible. Luckily I'm at the doctors at 9 tomorrow but my practice have almost killed me before so I'm not holding out for much 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EdgarusQPFC Posted March 16, 2015 Share Posted March 16, 2015 Doing much better considering. Having my ups and my downs. Determined to defeat this 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Moonster Posted March 16, 2015 Share Posted March 16, 2015 Ive had a change in medication as the Mitrapazine didnt agree with me so now on Trazodone. Been advised to go to Insight councilling, anyone had any dealings with them? Not Insight but I got in touch with Stepping Stones who were very helpful. Small changes made slowly that helped me get back on track. Doing much better considering. Having my ups and my downs. Determined to defeat this Good to hear mate! 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DA Baracus Posted March 16, 2015 Share Posted March 16, 2015 I think everything got on top of me yesterday and it was just a one off as i feel a lot better today - i should be able to get this all done in time its my own fault for dicking about for months on end and they will probably just say something like that my tutor is pretty strict plus its no use coming up with this a fortnight before submission when we have had since october to do it! Was just a one off day yesterday (i fucking hope) but it was a truly awful feeling i had but it seems to have passed. Not going to drink through the week this week anyway and try take it easy at weekend but we have a friend coming to stay so will no doubt want one or two! You're probably in a bit of denial of thinking it was a 'one off'. How many times have you had such 'one off' days? It's hard to accept it, but it seems you are almost ignoring your problems. I've done the same before, and I'm sure many others on here have done so. Unless you address the issue(s), you will have more 'one off' days and it will become like a cycle that keeps repeating. It's an easy trap to fall in to, as lots of us find it hard to admit to ourselves that we have a problem, and often can see it as a personal failing or some sort of weakness. Our shit society tells us that weakness is shit and only the strong will be successful, but f**k all those cuntos. They're in denial too. The simple fact, backed up by stats, is that it's pretty much human nature to have periods of feeling low, periods of depression, or periods of just feeling shit. I have my own theories as to why this is, but that's perhaps a discussion for another time. How we cope and deal with these periods, and how long they last, differ from person to person. No one is the same when it comes to brain chemistry and the like. In regards to your work, I would fucking hope your college don't say anything of the sort. They are trained to understand. Even if they couldn't give you an extension (which I find unlikely), they could at least give you help with how to get it done. Does your college have an academic skills type team? Alcohol is a depressant (which I'm sure you knew) and impairs judgement (which I'm sure everyone knows!) so avoiding it is best when you aren't feeling great. To make a bit of a shit analogy, your brain is in a way 'injured'. If you injured your foot you wouldn't things to exacerbate the injury. So people really shouldn't do things to exacerbate a brain 'injury'. But as I've said, that's easier said than done, and I made this mistake myself at the weekend. I hope I don't come across as judgmental or a dick, as I don't mean to be. I hope you can get things sorted. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DA Baracus Posted March 16, 2015 Share Posted March 16, 2015 You don't come across judgemental at all its stupid for me to even say what I've said on here when i have done nothing to help myself. Yesterday was a one off compared to other times i have felt that way in the way that i woke up in the morning and was actually very uncomfortable in my own skin and felt trapped in my life and that i couldn't escape the negativity and i haven't felt like that before and the feeling faded away and i didn't feel like that this morning. I think its student life that has started me off like this, didn't enjoy myself the first semester as i struggled to get motivated and went through a phase of hating college and being afraid to make any mistakes, every time i got something wrong i would be anxious and depressed over it but i eventually snapped out of it and felt alright. Have just done nothing productive and am now late in doing my graded unit, if i go in and say its because I'm depressed its not even true its because i am un motivated and have done nothing to help myself, if i do it then surely other people will get the same idea? Anyway i know what my problems are as with your foot analogy - it would be like me going and complaining about having a sore foot but then saying i have spent the day kicking a wall with no shoes on i do nothing to help myself bar going to the gym so i have bought in on myself. If i take a few positive steps i think i will feel fine again but for some reason i don't want to do that. You’re being really harsh on yourself. It’s easy to blame yourself for these things, but it doesn’t help. It isn’t really true either. It’s not stupid to say what you have on here. There have been people who have went for years without doing anything about it. Like me. In fact I thought I was better only to be proven wrong, and only yesterday and today have I finally taken some big steps to sort out my stuff. It’s only taken 31 jobs and 17 moves. You state that you aren’t depressed, but you show all the signs of suffering from some form of depression. You feel unmotivated, you feel you lack productivity, you get anxious over small mistakes, you over think small mistakes (and these ‘mistakes’ aren’t really mistakes as getting something wrong in an academic environment is a learning experience, not a mistake), you are being unduely harsh on yourself, you have expressed confusion and negativity towards your own thinking. Sounds like you lack confidence a bit, which is something everyone in this thread will surely have been through. I certainly have (part of the reason I’ve been single for 4 years!). If you were to speak to your college (and I would still urge you to do so) then they have to treat it confidential. There probably are people that claim they are unwell to get an extension, but for those in such positions, it’s usually pretty straightforward to work out who is genuine and who isn’t. Speaking from someone who has had dealings with colleges and universities as a student and as staff, there are support systems in place and you should use them, even if it’s just help with procrastination (a very common issue everyone faces). It’s a bit unfair to say you’ve brought on your issues yourself by drinking. True, you haven’t helped matters, but it simply isn’t that easy to just say not to do something, especially if you have taken solace in it. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lou Brusch Posted March 17, 2015 Share Posted March 17, 2015 The missus is saying that she can't handle being with me any more which, coming from a former depression sufferer, says a lot. Think I've just been too snippy and too emotional for her liking especially during a stressful time for her. Dreading waking up 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
philpy Posted March 21, 2015 Share Posted March 21, 2015 Getting there a bit now. The missus is getting a bit better health wise, we have a week away booked for our 5th anniversary in September, which is giving us something to focus on. I had a bit of a meltdown on facebook a few weeks ago (which was well documented) but hopefully I can make amends with the people I had a dig at. I managed to track down a couple of old friends that I've not seen for over ten years, so numbers have been swapped and drinks arranged. I've been a bit of a c**t the last few weeks but I feel I'm getting things sorted out now. Onwards and upwards. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SoapMactavish Posted March 21, 2015 Share Posted March 21, 2015 Hi guys. Just looking for some advice. Basically my fiancée has suffered with depression for some time, at least for five years, before we meet. So somewhere around 10 years. I've been trying to convince her to see her GP for it for years, explaining to her that it isn't a weakness and she doesn't need to be ashamed or afraid. She finally went to see her GP just over two months ago, he started her on anti-depressants and anti-anxiety medications, and we talked about it and agreed we would work together to get her through it. It was obviously hard to get her to the stage of admitting she needed help so I was so relieved. However since she started taking the pills she has turned in to a completely different person, before this, she had her bad days, we had the odd argument as couples do but we made up and moved on. Before the drugs we were talking about buying our first house, her going to uni to do nursing and kids and stuff like that, but now... It's like she's a zombie, there isn't any kind of emotion, she isn't sad, happy, angry or anything at all. She isn't showing me any affection and just seems distant. We had a massive row the other night. The worst we've ever had, she told me she had cheated on me and that she didn't love me then later said it was just a lie so that I would hate her and move on from her. She says all this with a straight face and not a shred of emotion. No matter what. I stormed out and stayed out all night, and calm back the next morning and she had cut all her arm open with a bit of broken glass, and was crying uncontrollably in the middle of the living room. I've gonna stay at my parents for a few nights because she is adamant she needs space to sort her head. I agreed only because I don't want to be the guy that turfs her out the flat. Neither is really a solution because I'm shit scared she'll do something to herself when I'm not there. This isn't the girl I fell in love with and I just want her back, anyone got any advice ? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
supermik Posted March 21, 2015 Share Posted March 21, 2015 Get her back to the docs and you go with her. If she gives permission for you to talk to the doctor then make sure you hold nothing back. Tell everything that has happened. It may just be that her meds need tweaked. Is she definitely taking them all? my wife wet through similar but after a chat with the doc and a change of meds things are much better and under a lot more control. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lisa Cuddy Posted March 21, 2015 Share Posted March 21, 2015 If you can, have a look at the list of side effects associated with her medication (you'll be able to look them up online). From what you've said, these are things that can happen and I found similar myself with Prozac. If you're not in the house with her, check in with her regularly or ask a trusted friend to if she's not keen to be in contact with you. It's really important to know she's not in danger and if you've any concerns over her safety, please don't hesitate to get help. Services such as Mind and Breathing Space will not only be able to advise you on what you can do for her but also support you. You clearly care deeply for her and well done to you for doing what you can to help. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
philpy Posted March 21, 2015 Share Posted March 21, 2015 I really hope you can get Things sorted out, soap. I can't Begin to imagine how hard it must be, and kudos to you for speaking about it. I know I'd struggle to cope, my wife has had a few "moments" of late, but after reading your story I feel a bit of a fraud. Chin up mate, I hope to god you get things sorted out. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tree house tam Posted March 21, 2015 Share Posted March 21, 2015 Anyone else on Mirtazipine? Dont notice any difference I have always suffered with sleep problems and this was one of the drugs they gave me . I was on far higher mgs though . It helped me sleep but left me very drowsy in the mornings . Took it for around a year without any side effects apart from drowsiness , dunno if it helps with depression though pal . 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
supermik Posted March 22, 2015 Share Posted March 22, 2015 (edited) MrsM Throbs and Mrs M sitting up a tree, yadda, yadda, you knows what I mean! Edited March 22, 2015 by supermik 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lisa Cuddy Posted March 22, 2015 Share Posted March 22, 2015 Who's Lisa? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
supermik Posted March 22, 2015 Share Posted March 22, 2015 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RH33 Posted March 22, 2015 Share Posted March 22, 2015 I think it sounds like she needs to go back to the doctor. If the medication is making her worse, common side effect, they can look at getting her onto a different one. She may be scared about how she feels and wants push you away to protect you. Also, self harm can be a physical way to release the emotional pain she is feeling. But first, back to the doctor. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SoapMactavish Posted March 22, 2015 Share Posted March 22, 2015 I think it sounds like she needs to go back to the doctor. If the medication is making her worse, common side effect, they can look at getting her onto a different one. She may be scared about how she feels and wants push you away to protect you. Also, self harm can be a physical way to release the emotional pain she is feeling. But first, back to the doctor. This. Any time she has been bad in the past she always questions as to why I love her and why I deal with her when I could go and get "someone who isn't fucked up" a lot easier. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Moonster Posted March 23, 2015 Share Posted March 23, 2015 This. Any time she has been bad in the past she always questions as to why I love her and why I deal with her when I could go and get "someone who isn't fucked up" a lot easier. My flat mate suffers in much the same way and he doesn't understand why his girlfriend puts up with him. He genuinely cares more about her than he does himself and thought about splitting up with her to "give her a better life". Obviously everyone is different but it took something pretty bad happening for him to realise that having people like his girlfriend around him when he's feeling down is a must and they're closer than ever now. I'd agree with the others saying go back to the doctor and see about the meds being changed. I'd also agree with Mrs M in that getting her to speak with Mind or Breathing Space or the likes could be helpful. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stellaboz Posted March 26, 2015 Share Posted March 26, 2015 For anyone else who drinks when they're down- stopping this habit can be done. I have my off days still as much as anyone but where i used to reach for the beers, I've replaced this with either a gym workout or a takeaway. (strange perhaps! But true) I don't even know how I've managed it. I think the fear of a hangover is enough to stop it when I'm already feeling low. There's been a couple of times recently I've just wanted to get fcked up to numb the low-feeling but I've stopped myself from doing so. If you can stop yourself once, you can to stop yourself drinking for the wrong reasons continously. It'll help your health, physically and mentally. Perhaps random, but hope it helps someone 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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