Depression

[Lyle Lanley]

Had a massive breakdown last night. I've broken down before but not like last night. Last night was probarly the worst breakdown i've had. I said some horrible things to my mates and i wouldn't be surprised if they hate my guts now.

[Hedgecutter]

Had a massive breakdown last night. I've broken down before but not like last night. Last night was probarly the worst breakdown i've had. I said some horrible things to my mates and i wouldn't be surprised if they hate my guts now.

Here's a way to test whether they're genuine friends or simply drinking mates: Apologise sincerely, admitting what the background problems are. I'd be quite understanding anyway. Still a tad cheesed off of course, but who doesn't have any negative sides to them for folk to get bitchy about.

Edited May 11, 2015 by Hedgecutter

[Lyle Lanley]

Here's a way to test whether they're genuine friends or simply drinking mates: Apologise sincerely, admitting what the background problems are. I'd be quite understanding anyway. Still a tad cheesed off of course, but who doesn't have any negative sides to them for folk to get bitchy about.

Update:

Said sorry to them for the way i reacted and only a few knew what i was going through and understood but others reacted badly to it. So i've simply told them to f**k off out of my life.

Been speaking to someone from samaritans in the past few days which has helped a bit.

[SweeperDee]

So, a little bit of a rant coming up, but it's a subject close to my heart nonetheless.

In Scotland, and I'd imagine the UK as a whole, there is a tangible problem with mental health. Suicide is the leading cause of death amongst males of early adult age, 20 onwards up until 35 years of age; I've heard of numerous stories about individuals being passed from pillar to post in regards to CPN appointments, GP appointments, care worker appointments and all of the rest, and it just makes me question our government and health service's collective commitment to mental health services as a whole.

The bottom line is that there is no money available to ensure people with mental health issues are given the help they need. We have £billions being spent on infrastructure such as HS2 that we don't need, renewal of nuclear weapons that we don't need; we are throwing an obscene amount of money at things that as country we do not need.

What do we need? We need to spend the money that we are spending on the above to fund programmes and services which ensure that those with mental health issues are not left behind, and ultimately prevent the staggering number of suicides that unfortunately occur in this country.

Surely as a country we can all agree that suicide, regardless of circumstance, is an utter tragedy, and should be treated and cared for in equal terms of other physical ailments. To anyone that is reading this who may feel they have a mental health issue, always feel free to get in contact if you ever want to talk, because that is the best way to deal with your feelings; always, always talk. Alternatively, go to your GP and discuss possible avenues that you can take, never suffer alone, you deserve better.

Edited May 14, 2015 by DonnieDarko

[Gareth_Glasgow]

I read a pretty worrying article yesterday along the same lines about mental health services under the Tories and Jeremy Hunt: http://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2015/may/13/jeremy-hunt-health-secretary-conservatives-government-scary-prospect-britains-mental-health

Obviously there's a lot of areas needing more funding in the NHS, but as you said the record for mental health particularly in young men is frightening. I can say from experience though that we do have some very good modern facilities in Scotland for young people's mental health in Scotland (e.g. the Skye House unit at Stobhill Hospital) that will hopefully continue making a difference.

Edited May 14, 2015 by Gareth_Glasgow

[Ad Lib]

I feel more comfortable talking about this now that the election is over.

After a spell on 50mg of sertraline a day I had very low mood and got incredibly restless a lot of the time between February and March. I had my dosage upped to 100mg, but it actually made things worse. Had a few really awful and very public anxiety attacks over that period. I occasionally had thoughts about jumping from my bedroom window or hanging myself. It really wasn't nice at all. I had to be retrospectively signed-off work back to January.

My friends were extremely supportive. A group of them got together and stayed over on rotation for a fortnight or so before I headed up to Aberdeen for Easter. It was just before then that my doctor concluded that sertraline really wasn't working and phased me off it really quite quickly and switched me across to 20mg citalopram.

On the CBT side of things, I finally got onto a group CBT thing towards the end of March at the Uni Counselling service, but it folded almost immediately due to lack of numbers. I ended up going private for a few sessions with a therapist and she was great.

The combination of the change in meds, one-to-one CBT sessions and, perhaps oddly, the focus and low pressure of the election campaign, have all combined to improve my mental wellbeing significantly. I'm meeting my supervisor next week to discuss a plan gradually to return to work: something I'd have thought impossible even a month ago.

There were some really dark moments in the last few months, but I'm seeing light at the end of the tunnel. It's cliché but it does get better. I'm not saying I'm not going to relapse, but I'm really feeling like the person I used to be. That doesn't mean I'm not still ill, but the monster is on a leash for now.

ETA: I know this probably sounds dumb, but it's the small things that can make the difference. I've started listening to music to distract me and for casual enjoyment again. Preparing and cooking a meal from scratch: there's satisfaction in that. Just going for a walk can clear the head too.

A big thing for me is trying just to slow down my brain from thinking. It has such a tendency to rush ahead, refuse to switch-off, and that causes me to catastrophise and be my own worst critic.

Edited May 15, 2015 by Ad Lib

[Big Fifer]

Going through a bit of a struggle in my house with depression at the moment. I moved back about 11 months ago and will be getting my own house in the next 2/3 months. Basically since I've moved back my dad, who has been self employed since about 25 (fishmonger) and was earning an absolute bomb, really isn't himself anymore.

His business going south appeared to hit him hard and he's earning peanuts at the moment, but I only realised how bad it was when I moved back. He's been to the docs and is on meds but he literally doesn't want to do anything. He only wants to sit in his chair on his laptop and watch telly.

On my days off, he puts off going out to work until I'm awake and then he'll sneak out the door. Whenever me or my mum ask him to do something (tonights one was a quick discussion on measuring our new patio, and all he did was put barriers up, saying it's too complicated etc).

I'm away soon but I know it's affecting my mum a great deal, so much so that I don't think she wants to be with my dad (or at least this version of him) anymore. Pretty grim stuff and it's got me a bit worried about moving out, I absolutely have to for work and studying but I feel for my mum being alone in the house with him, it's not really that fun anymore. Anyone got any words of wisdom? For me or anyone in this house?

[Mr Bairn]

I feel more comfortable talking about this now that the election is over.

After a spell on 50mg of sertraline a day I had very low mood and got incredibly restless a lot of the time between February and March. I had my dosage upped to 100mg, but it actually made things worse. Had a few really awful and very public anxiety attacks over that period. I occasionally had thoughts about jumping from my bedroom window or hanging myself. It really wasn't nice at all. I had to be retrospectively signed-off work back to January.

My friends were extremely supportive. A group of them got together and stayed over on rotation for a fortnight or so before I headed up to Aberdeen for Easter. It was just before then that my doctor concluded that sertraline really wasn't working and phased me off it really quite quickly and switched me across to 20mg citalopram.

On the CBT side of things, I finally got onto a group CBT thing towards the end of March at the Uni Counselling service, but it folded almost immediately due to lack of numbers. I ended up going private for a few sessions with a therapist and she was great.

The combination of the change in meds, one-to-one CBT sessions and, perhaps oddly, the focus and low pressure of the election campaign, have all combined to improve my mental wellbeing significantly. I'm meeting my supervisor next week to discuss a plan gradually to return to work: something I'd have thought impossible even a month ago.

There were some really dark moments in the last few months, but I'm seeing light at the end of the tunnel. It's cliché but it does get better. I'm not saying I'm not going to relapse, but I'm really feeling like the person I used to be. That doesn't mean I'm not still ill, but the monster is on a leash for now.

ETA: I know this probably sounds dumb, but it's the small things that can make the difference. I've started listening to music to distract me and for casual enjoyment again. Preparing and cooking a meal from scratch: there's satisfaction in that. Just going for a walk can clear the head too.

A big thing for me is trying just to slow down my brain from thinking. It has such a tendency to rush ahead, refuse to switch-off, and that causes me to catastrophise and be my own worst critic.

I don't know if this will help you or not, but remember that over 1,000 people just voted for you to be their MP. That's a very very big deal

[Hedgecutter]

Been on mirtazapine for about a month and it's helped massively. Really regretting not going to my GP months earlier but what made me phone up seems almost ridiculous; couldn't find an (easiest rated) geocache which everybody else had previously found and after a bad chain of events I just felt utterly useless at every single thing, feeling that I had nothing to offer the world and stared at every bus going by, visualising walking out in front of them and very seriously considered it.

However, just the other day I had a bad lapse spell and now fear that if you were to plot a mood chart against time, I'd start at 0 (careless), raise to +10 but then suddenly collapse to -10. Better than that every I suppose.

[RH33]

Hedge, mood scope is good site for tracking mood. Might be worth doing for few weeks and seeing if any pattern emerges.

I'm having wee blip but it'll pass.

[Ad Lib]

I don't know if this will help you or not, but remember that over 1,000 people just voted for you to be their MP. That's a very very big deal

Frightening, isn't it? At least 1069 people in East Renfrewshire are absolutely crazy!

[ICTChris]

Frightening, isn't it? At least 1069 people in East Renfrewshire are absolutely crazy!

Time to end the failed democratic experiment.

Srsly tho, I'm glad you are feeling better

Edited May 22, 2015 by ICTChris

[SweeperDee]

There's literally nothing more I can do to rid myself of what seems to be an overwhelmingly intense, and prolonged feeling of loneliness.

I've tried surrounding myself with friends, been going out semi-regularly, been trying to think positively, I'm not an anti-social guy by any means; I just feel like I can't really connect to people, or more specifically, people don't seem to connect to me the same amount that I feel I connect to them.

Sitting on my laptop at this very moment, writing this out, all of my pals have went home for summer bar a select few but I'm already around at theirs most of the week and I don't want to feel like I'm bothering them.

To top it all off my grandmother is deteriorating at an alarming rate with suspected dementia. I help as much as I can, but it's just heartbreaking; this coupled with this sense of loneliness is making me feel disturbingly sad - funnily enough I've felt lonely for years, and I've said before that it's my greatest fear in life, but this pure sadness is the worst I've ever felt.

[paranoid android]

There's literally nothing more I can do to rid myself of what seems to be an overwhelmingly intense, and prolonged feeling of loneliness.

I've tried surrounding myself with friends, been going out semi-regularly, been trying to think positively, I'm not an anti-social guy by any means; I just feel like I can't really connect to people, or more specifically, people don't seem to connect to me the same amount that I feel I connect to them.

Sitting on my laptop at this very moment, writing this out, all of my pals have went home for summer bar a select few but I'm already around at theirs most of the week and I don't want to feel like I'm bothering them.

To top it all off my grandmother is deteriorating at an alarming rate with suspected dementia. I help as much as I can, but it's just heartbreaking; this coupled with this sense of loneliness is making me feel disturbingly sad - funnily enough I've felt lonely for years, and I've said before that it's my greatest fear in life, but this pure sadness is the worst I've ever felt.

It's not easy, mate - I'm a bit similar, in that I don't connect easily with people, and tend to withdraw from their company. I've now got to the stage, though, that I'm comfortable on my own - when I'm out and about, I can't wait to get home.

With the better weather looming, I'm hoping to be motivated enough to get out walking in the fresh air, and there's a lot to be said for keeping yourself busy with whatever.

I honestly don't know what the answer is, though - mind you can always ask for help.

[SweeperDee]

It's not easy, mate - I'm a bit similar, in that I don't connect easily with people, and tend to withdraw from their company. I've now got to the stage, though, that I'm comfortable on my own - when I'm out and about, I can't wait to get home.

With the better weather looming, I'm hoping to be motivated enough to get out walking in the fresh air, and there's a lot to be said for keeping yourself busy with whatever.

I honestly don't know what the answer is, though - mind you can always ask for help.

Could be post-breakup blues but I've felt this way for a while.

I try and get out of the house as much as I can, as I get extremely bored if I don't; if I'm with friends the feeling subsides a bit, but obviously when I get home or I leave their company it comes back with vengeance.

Thanks for your reply PA, means a lot.

[paranoid android]

Could be post-breakup blues but I've felt this way for a while.

I try and get out of the house as much as I can, as I get extremely bored if I don't; if I'm with friends the feeling subsides a bit, but obviously when I get home or I leave their company it comes back with vengeance.

Thanks for your reply PA, means a lot.

Apparently, some depressive episodes can occur in the aftermath of events of emotional upheaval/turmoil, etc - bad break-ups can certainly leave folk in bad places.

It's good to talk, mate, so nae bother!

[SweeperDee]

Definitely good to talk; my job involves telling people that which is ironic in some way.

I can definitely tell when I'm about to experience some sort of episode, whether it is a manic one or depressive one; almost like a spidey sense. This sadness seems to transcend my usual feelings somewhat, hopefully it will get better.

[philpy]

It's not easy, mate - I'm a bit similar, in that I don't connect easily with people, and tend to withdraw from their company. I've now got to the stage, though, that I'm comfortable on my own - when I'm out and about, I can't wait to get home.

With the better weather looming, I'm hoping to be motivated enough to get out walking in the fresh air, and there's a lot to be said for keeping yourself busy with whatever.

I honestly don't know what the answer is, though - mind you can always ask for help.

You're in dalkeith eh?? I'm just along in wallyford mate, if you ever fancy a Blether it's not a problem. I'm a good listener, and I like to try and help people in your position out.

[paranoid android]

You're in dalkeith eh?? I'm just along in wallyford mate, if you ever fancy a Blether it's not a problem. I'm a good listener, and I like to try and help people in your position out.

Cheers, man - I am in Dalkeith, for my sins. Top man!

[partick_twinny]

Ad lib, I had no idea what you were going through. Really sorry to hear you've been struggling but glad you're feeling on top of things at the moment.

My partner has been suffering with depression for ten years (I've been with her almost six). The past two years in particular have been incredibly difficult, with her attempting suicide in January last year. She's also on citalopram and it has been a great help, though she's now been switched to S-citalopram which is a more active version of the drug. The trouble for her is that she doesn't feel she deserves to get better and therefore punishes herself when things are going well by not taking her medication.

Anyway, we should meet up for a pint next time I'm at Firhill, assuming I actually get the chance next season.