Depression

[DA Baracus]

 

 

 

 

 

[Thereisalight..]

26 minutes ago, DA Baracus said:

Yeah, know it sucks for many folk and it's a shit situation for many.

I was unemployed for a while between 2012-2013 and it was shite. Like you I struggled to get up before midday. Even when I did I'd feel exhausted. Was definitely one of my lowest times, if not the bottom.

You're at you're lowest I think. From what you've said circumstances have absolutely flattened you, and then coronavirus came along. You haven't caught a break and it probably feels like you won't again, but you will again. You will man. 

You don't owe anyone but yourself. You shouldn't keep going for anyone but yourself. Don't feel that lying down and finally giving in is wrong because of what anyone else thinks or feels. It's wrong because at the moment you do it you'll regret it. You'll realise you've made the worst mistake and can't go back on it.

To quote one of my favourite songs:

 

I wish there was something i could say
To erase each and every page that you've been through
Even though its not my place to save you

I appreciate but can't accept this thank-you note
Thats sealed with your last breath
I won't stand aside and listen to you give up

If you'll just hold on for one more second
Just hold on to what you have
If you'll just hold on, just hold on
You will wake up tommorrow

Fck, reading that made me emotional. Thanks

[DA Baracus]

1 hour ago, Thereisalight.. said:

Fck, reading that made me emotional. Thanks

Anytime my friend. 

Please don't struggle alone. I'm happy to hear from you if you ever want to get in touch.

Edited May 24, 2020 by DA Baracus

[Thereisalight..]

58 minutes ago, DA Baracus said:

Anytime my friend. 

Please don't struggle alone. I'm happy to heat from you if you ever want to get in touch.

I appreciate that. It means a lot to know an internet stranger cares. Thanks again

[DA Baracus]

18 minutes ago, Thereisalight.. said:

I appreciate that. It means a lot to know an internet stranger cares. Thanks again

Sound.

I'm not just saying it though. If you want, fire me a PM. Say what you want/need. Be open and explicit. It'll be between us.

[harkinsbaldpatch]

The thing I love about this thread is even the people who are struggling themselves, are willing to help out others in need.

[NJ2]

I appreciate that. It means a lot to know an internet stranger cares. Thanks again

It’s not just DA either mate. Also extend his offer, feel free to fire me a message if you ever want. I’ll never claim to be able to solve anyone’s problems but I’ll always certainly listen. None of us are struggling alone, struggling maybe but we’re all here for each other.

[D.A.F.C]

Ditto all the comments. Theres some really good people on here.
I find sharing experiences and taking about it really helps. Sometimes that's easier with strangers.

[Thereisalight..]

I thought I’d post here to vent seeing as it’s late and as usual I can’t get to sleep. So many thoughts running through my head. I’ve been missing my old man a lot. Always when I’m trying to get to sleep the memories of his last day in hospital go over and over in my head. How I was there when he died. How my mum and I knew he was going to die but we didn’t tell him. I watched a programme about the FA Cups top 50 moments the other night and I cried because I know he’d have loved watching it. I definitely have a love/hate relationship with football now since he passed away. Earlier on my neighbour and I were chatting out the back and she mentioned my ex and her new guy/fiancé. Just fcks me up to know less than 10 months ago we were “loved up”, and now she’s engaged to someone new and I’m a piece of shit to her. I really wish I had my work to help distract my dark thoughts a bit. 

[Stellaboz]

There's nothing wrong in thinking about your dad. My parents passed away a couple of years ago and I don't exaggerate when I say there's rarely a day goes by that I don't think of them both in some respect. It's good that you are thinking of them, this is a positive thing, even if some of the memories are really tough and heart breaking. 

Personally, I'm someone who pushes away my thoughts deep down away inside, so you should be proud that you are not. Everyone grieves differently and for different periods of time, just go easy on yourself and look after yourself, that's all you can do. 

As for your ex, I'm not best placed to tell you what is best because what worked for me might not be best for you. I was lucky that when I broke up with a toxic ex in the past I was able to devote my whole life to getting myself back in a good place mentally, physically (eventually!) and career wise. It'd be easy for me to say forget her, it's clear that it is not. That's not such a bad thing either, it just takes time to get over. What I do recommend is trying VERY hard not to compare your life to hers. This is unfair on yourself. 

[Dons_1988]

Some very heartening stuff in the last few pages.

I've regurgitated my battles on this thread a few times so I won't bore people again but also open to a PM if anyone ever wants to discuss anything.

[Thereisalight..]

4 hours ago, Stellaboz said:

There's nothing wrong in thinking about your dad. My parents passed away a couple of years ago and I don't exaggerate when I say there's rarely a day goes by that I don't think of them both in some respect. It's good that you are thinking of them, this is a positive thing, even if some of the memories are really tough and heart breaking. 

Personally, I'm someone who pushes away my thoughts deep down away inside, so you should be proud that you are not. Everyone grieves differently and for different periods of time, just go easy on yourself and look after yourself, that's all you can do. 

As for your ex, I'm not best placed to tell you what is best because what worked for me might not be best for you. I was lucky that when I broke up with a toxic ex in the past I was able to devote my whole life to getting myself back in a good place mentally, physically (eventually!) and career wise. It'd be easy for me to say forget her, it's clear that it is not. That's not such a bad thing either, it just takes time to get over. What I do recommend is trying VERY hard not to compare your life to hers. This is unfair on yourself. 

Thanks bud. I do push thoughts and feelings deep inside, but more and more they’re becoming so much to contend with and they’re rising and I’m breaking  down in tears.  I think it was because my Dad passed away unexpectedly. It was a shock and it’s been hard to get my head around. I went from seeing him every day to now not seeing him at all and it kills me. 

Im glad to hear you got back to a good place after splitting with your ex. I hope that day comes for me, and soon! I know it’s unfair to make comparisons between my life and hers, but it’s so hard not to. She’s happily loved up, and my life has went to shit since the break up. Just seems unfair that good things are happening to such a bitch 

[Stellaboz]

2 minutes ago, Thereisalight.. said:

Thanks bud. I do push thoughts and feelings deep inside, but more and more they’re becoming so much to contend with and they’re rising and I’m breaking  down in tears.  I think it was because my Dad passed away unexpectedly. It was a shock and it’s been hard to get my head around. I went from seeing him every day to now not seeing him at all and it kills me. 

Im glad to hear you got back to a good place after splitting with your ex. I hope that day comes for me, and soon! I know it’s unfair to make comparisons between my life and hers, but it’s so hard not to. She’s happily loved up, and my life has went to shit since the break up. Just seems unfair that good things are happening to such a bitch 

Just give yourself time to get over the shock, don't put any time limits on anything like that. You're genuinely brave to be able to talk about it here. 

Yeah that was quite a few years ago now! I've been with my now fiance for over 6 years, but when we met I wasn't even looking to get into something serious with anyone... it just happened we each found the right person and were (and still are!) incredibly lucky and grateful for our luck. I've not even turned round once to see what's going on with people from before in my life. Whatever life your ex has doesn't matter, try to focus on yourself. It's magic being single, honestly it is! Being in a relationship isn't the be-all-end-all. You're a single guy who can do what the f*ck you want, when you want! THAT is something to cherish and make the most of, I promise you. 

[Guest JTS98]

On 27/05/2020 at 15:33, Stellaboz said:

There's nothing wrong in thinking about your dad. My parents passed away a couple of years ago and I don't exaggerate when I say there's rarely a day goes by that I don't think of them both in some respect.

 

Oops. Sorry, I quoted the wrong thread in the conversation. Hope all can follow.

Edited May 28, 2020 by JTS98

[Guest JTS98]

On 27/05/2020 at 08:16, Thereisalight.. said:

I thought I’d post here to vent seeing as it’s late and as usual I can’t get to sleep. So many thoughts running through my head. I’ve been missing my old man a lot. Always when I’m trying to get to sleep the memories of his last day in hospital go over and over in my head. How I was there when he died. How my mum and I knew he was going to die but we didn’t tell him. I watched a programme about the FA Cups top 50 moments the other night and I cried because I know he’d have loved watching it. I definitely have a love/hate relationship with football now since he passed away. Earlier on my neighbour and I were chatting out the back and she mentioned my ex and her new guy/fiancé. Just fcks me up to know less than 10 months ago we were “loved up”, and now she’s engaged to someone new and I’m a piece of shit to her. I really wish I had my work to help distract my dark thoughts a bit. 

Enjoy it, mate. I know it sounds like a morbid thing to say, but revel in remembering the good things about your parents and try to turn it into a good part of your day.

I haven't lost a parent yet, fortunately, but I lost a grandmother who I was very close to not all that long ago. My brother picked me out a hole by reminding me to just keep thinking of the good things when I think about her. It really helps. I know it's shite.

[D.A.F.C]

The change in mental well-being after just two weeks back at work has told me that it’s a definite leave now.

I can’t control how it’s run and I’m expected to work miracles and the harder I work the more shit I get flung at me. What’s worse is seeing other colleagues progress and have easier roles despite being utter chancers. They literally get away with saying I’m not doing this or that and allowed to.

Me acting aggressively or moaning about unfairness isn’t going to fix it, I need to sort it out. The furlough period to this has told me that it’s a definite.

 Might take a while and will look to explain the situation with supervisor or HR when things get back to normal. They have recently launched a wellbeing site and at the same time are asking people to do twice or three times the workload without support so they’re full of shit. I’d rather they just said we don’t give a f**k about you really. Just keep making us money. The way the company is run is setup for the top earners to keep believing everything is rosy while shit rolls downhill and we need to bail out their fuckups again and again. Anyway just need to move on and try and make it as stress free as possible for a while. 

[Jacksgranda]

My mother died 20 years ago this month. For a long time whenever I thought about her all I could picture was the bag of bones lying on her death bed. Over time that image has faded/disappeared and now when I think of her I picture the wee woman full of life and energy. Time heals.

Two of the grandsons were born either side of my mother's death so it was a roller coaster of emotions. I thought of it as an allegory of life, my mother shuffling off one side while two wee men came crawling on at the other.

Edited May 29, 2020 by Jacksgranda
sllepnig

[Raidernation]

May, June and July are just fantastic months for me.
Mother died May 1st
Mrs. RN#2 died May 14th
Mrs. RN#3 died June 13th and was interred June 18th which is also Mrs. RN#2’s birthday!
Father’s birthday was June 25th
Brother’s birthday was July 6th
Mother’s birthday was July 15th

Plan is to cope sober, so far so good.



Should point out that the deaths were different years.

[tree house tam]

On 13/01/2020 at 23:56, RH33 said:

Fairer sex! 

Bloody women and their equal opportunities. 

[NJ2]

May, June and July are just fantastic months for me.
Mother died May 1st
Mrs. RN#2 died May 14th
Mrs. RN#3 died June 13th and was interred June 18th which is also Mrs. RN#2’s birthday!
Father’s birthday was June 25th
Brother’s birthday was July 6th
Mother’s birthday was July 15th

Plan is to cope sober, so far so good.



Should point out that the deaths were different years.

You’ve managed so far sober mate and done brilliantly. One day at a time.