D.A.F.C Posted June 23, 2016 Share Posted June 23, 2016 David Murray lives in a secret underground bunker under Ibrox alongside fellow liars and cheats in a strange bigoted version of Chortlon and The Wheelies. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hedgecutter Posted June 24, 2016 Share Posted June 24, 2016 15% of leave voters won't live long enough to see England outside of the EU. Clearly a false fact. It's actually 16%. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
banana Posted June 24, 2016 Share Posted June 24, 2016 Transgender Gibraltan movie star David Cameron Diaz has stepped down as leader of the GIbraltan Insurgent Military Party (GIMP). 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GordonD Posted June 25, 2016 Share Posted June 25, 2016 Two million ballot papers, all marked 'Remain', have been discovered in a South London lock-up rented in the name of a Mr. F. A. Rage. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Richie95 Posted June 25, 2016 Share Posted June 25, 2016 Two million ballot papers, all marked 'Remain', have been discovered in a South London lock-up rented in the name of a Mr. F. A. Rage. Rumours are claiming that police were tipped off by a man on a bike who goes by the name B.John-son. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dr Koop Posted June 25, 2016 Share Posted June 25, 2016 Squids propel themselves along under water using farts. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Silvio Tattiescone Posted June 25, 2016 Share Posted June 25, 2016 Squids propel themselves along under water using farts. As do I. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tamthebam Posted June 25, 2016 Share Posted June 25, 2016 Buckingham Palace have reacted the the Referendum result by announcing that the Queen's grandchild will have to change her name forthwith to Genie. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GordonD Posted June 25, 2016 Share Posted June 25, 2016 The Great Train Robbers were all season ticket holders at Third Lanark. They had met eighteen months earlier, during a 4-0 home defeat by Celtic in a Scottish Cup quarter-final replay, and came up with the robbery as a means of funding the purchase of some new players. The loss of so much income when they were jailed was one of the main causes of the club going into liquidation. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GordonD Posted June 28, 2016 Share Posted June 28, 2016 Rudyard Kipling was inspired to write The Jungle Book after a visit to Celtic Park. The sight of feral children and rabid dogs roaming the streets outside the ground sparked off an idea in his mind, and once he got inside and observed the home support the rest all fell into place, including King Louie and his followers and even the title of the book itself. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shandon Par Posted June 28, 2016 Share Posted June 28, 2016 Roy Hodgson has been approached by Neighbours producers to repalce Mrs Mangle. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
topcat(The most tip top) Posted June 28, 2016 Share Posted June 28, 2016 (edited) The Ultimate Fighting Championship was originally going to be called the "Penultimate Fighting championship" until the pessimistic organisers thought they probably couldn't make people watch a second tournament.They were pleasantly surprised by their own success and almost 200 sequels later they keep the "UFC" name just to remind themselves not to take it's continued popularity for granted. While, in reaility, Lorenzo Ferrita (the Cheif Executive ) is rich enough to retire tomorrow he still superstitiously holds on to his Nevada Taxi Driving License "just in case the whole thing suddenly folds" Edited June 28, 2016 by topcat(The most tip top) 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
banana Posted June 28, 2016 Share Posted June 28, 2016 Contrary to popular belief, Hen Broon isn't in fact so tall because he went through a mangle. The reasons for his height were established in the long lost very first Broons cartoon, namely that Ma Broon was popular with of the touring Harlem Globetrotters. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
D.A.F.C Posted June 28, 2016 Share Posted June 28, 2016 Rahim Sterling has been asked to play bouncer from neighbours. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hedgecutter Posted June 28, 2016 Share Posted June 28, 2016 Gary Lineker and Mark Lawrenson are actually neighbours, with Lineker eventually asking the BBC to limit the time Lawrenson spends around him wherever possible after he moved in next door and claimed to know what he ate for breakfast. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GordonD Posted June 29, 2016 Share Posted June 29, 2016 Before the Iceland game Lineker said (off-air) that if England lost he would present the quarter-final game with his knob out. After the final whistle he paid the BBC half a million quid to wipe the tape. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
banana Posted June 29, 2016 Share Posted June 29, 2016 The surname 'Lineker' is Dutch, meaning 'linoleum'. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
banana Posted June 29, 2016 Share Posted June 29, 2016 The term 'Dutch Oven' was coined by Frank McAvennie, and has been cited as the 9th leading cause of divorce in England and Wales (2014: 7%). 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zen Archer (Raconteur) Posted June 29, 2016 Share Posted June 29, 2016 Roy Hodgson has been approached by Neighbours producers to repalce Mrs Mangle. The FA have asked that it be Bouncer. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GordonD Posted June 30, 2016 Share Posted June 30, 2016 Geoff Hurst was banned from his local pub's Shove Ha'penny tournament after getting into an argument with the judge. She disallowed what would have been his winning 'shove', ruling that the ha'penny had stopped on the line while he claimed it was clearly over. Ironically, the judge's grandfather was born in the Ukraine. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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