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Facts you made up


Mak

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Manchester was the cotton kings, in the industrial revolution & after all the school teachers had purchased their corduroy trousers there was shit loads of the material left. No other c**t wears corduroy so in an ingenious business plan it was exported to Sweden has the latest new must have material. Obviously they couldn't call it corduroy cos there's no way they'd take that shit so they renamed it Manchester which although pre- the Smirhs, Stone Roses & Oasis it was still pretty cool with the Scuttlers running all over town. The Swedish like that sort of thing. Anyway they bought it lock, stock & barrel.

Since then there has never been a twinning of any Swedish town or city within a 50 mile radius of Manchester.

Grimbo

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Similarly, prior to Sir Isaac Newton discovering gravity people used to have to tie themselves down when they went to bed every night. That was, if they were rich enough to afford a bed, most people just put a large stone or rock on their leg to avoid floating away.

Before Newton invented gravity, rich people used four poster beds fitted with nets to stop themselves floating away.

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Before Newton invented gravity, rich people used four poster beds fitted with nets to stop themselves floating away.

The term 'Jedi' genuinely comes from the Arabic SI unit for force btw (they weren't fond of adopting Western names).

Edited by Hedgecutter
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Appearing as "Both Barker & Corbett". The Two Ronnies were only given their first TV contract when they agreed to change the act's name away from the famous initials.

The then Director General of the Beeb, Sir Stanley Rouse, felt the young comedians were likely to tarnish the image of the Corporation with their smutty innuendos and use of cunning stunt spoonerisms.

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The drumbeats introducing I'm A Celebrity Who Gives A Fukc, was written by and is played by Phil Collins (Genesis). He also holds the rights to the drumbeat music at the end of Eastenders.

Phil Collins and his auntie, the actress Pauline Collins, each hold 1.5% shares in the family business Collins Dictionaries & Printing.

Pauline Collins' cousins, actress Joan Collins her recently deceased novelist sister Jackie Collins each used to own 2% of Company shares but sold them several years ago to allegedly fund the acting career of Joan and Jackie's adopted niece Michelle Collins but there is little evidence to back up this claim.

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Popular U.S. Medical drama E.R. Was actual piloted in the UK after the creator stubbed his toe whilst spending Hogmanay in Edinburgh. He drunkly had an accident & ended up in Ed Roy Inf, because it took 6 hours waiting in Casualty waiting to be seen he came up with an idea for a tv show that he named ERI but the producers meeting decided ERI was a shit name & called it Casualty instead, the creator got insensed at this & decided to have nothing more to do with it. He emigrated to America & tried his luck again, this time they listened to him & the pilot for ERI was done, unfortunately the title production team wasn't listening (typical yanks eh),l & missed off the I. The creator saw his tv show aired for the very 1st & last time because he hung himself in disappointment, a small town off the Florida coast.

Grimbo

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Stevens once created a crisp company which he thought could rival that of Walkers. The main crisp, 'Salt and Shakin', never really made it big in Britain. However, it is claimed by some people, that the packets of these crisps are currently being used as a basic form of currency in Andorra.

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Shakin Stevens got his nickname from his bizarre habit of covering teenage groupies in Shake N Vac, always the lily of the valley one, and snorting it off their naked bodies during sex.

Curiously - the exact same reason that former Dundee FC and AS Nancy player Ray "Shakin" Stephens got his nickname. Must've been a thing in the 80s.

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