Old Diamond Posted September 5, 2013 Share Posted September 5, 2013 It is now illegal to say that somebody missed the goal by a "baw hair". The EU have now replaced the "baw hair" with the PI (Pubic International) unit of awfy small distances and must be used at all time 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
banana Posted September 5, 2013 Share Posted September 5, 2013 (edited) The commonly held view that sand is used as a major ingrediant for making glass is wrong - on the contrary, all sand in the world comes from discarded glass. Hence the well-established correlation between increase in glass production and desertification. Edited September 5, 2013 by banana 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dave1875 Posted September 5, 2013 Share Posted September 5, 2013 A silly wee one but my sister believed it for years: Spain has a 13th month 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seymour Skinner Posted September 5, 2013 Share Posted September 5, 2013 If you shite in a GameCube you create a portal to another dimension 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kamenitza Posted September 6, 2013 Share Posted September 6, 2013 If you can hear your mobile phone ringing inside the microwave oven it means that you will find the phone charger plugged into the kebab you bought on the way home last night. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BigRubberFist Posted September 6, 2013 Share Posted September 6, 2013 Drinking too much Mountain Dew turns your pee fluorescent - permanently. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mr Prez Posted September 6, 2013 Share Posted September 6, 2013 Denny was first choice for the movie,a river runs through it 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
banana Posted September 7, 2013 Share Posted September 7, 2013 'Ireland' is Finnish for 'Sweden' in Bulgarian. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ya Bezzer! Posted September 8, 2013 Share Posted September 8, 2013 In the Sudan, the horns of giraffes are used as mooring stations to tether hot air balloons. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LongTimeLurker Posted September 8, 2013 Share Posted September 8, 2013 The Serbo-Croat for "Hello I'm pleased to meet you" is "Idi u tri picke materine". Eldorado wine was only ever sold in Scottish council schemes and South African townships. Ian Paisley actually did help to save Ulster from sodomy. Studies show that Ballymena in NI has the lowest percentage of the population participating in anal sex in Europe and the lowest number of pet gerbils for any comparable sized town in the United Kingdom. Dundonians only pronounce the word "pie" as "peeeeeeh" as a pisstake to confuse gullible visitors from other parts of Scotland. The Hillman Imp was the most popular imported car in Albania. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kamenitza Posted September 9, 2013 Share Posted September 9, 2013 Australian Aborigines claim to have invented the bagpipes. They have no proof of this as homesick Scottish convicts deported to Australia stole every set of pipes they had. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hoopy1967 Posted September 9, 2013 Share Posted September 9, 2013 Adidas Gazelles are outlawed in western Iran 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
banana Posted September 9, 2013 Share Posted September 9, 2013 (edited) Until the invention of the flush toilet in the late eighteen hundreds, most adults in Germany wore nappies. Edited September 9, 2013 by banana 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BigRubberFist Posted September 9, 2013 Share Posted September 9, 2013 A rigorous session of masturbation burns as many calories as a 5km run. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kamenitza Posted September 9, 2013 Share Posted September 9, 2013 Scientists have identified a new strain of the AIDS virus which can be transmitted via toilet door handles. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mixed Donner Hoagie Posted September 9, 2013 Share Posted September 9, 2013 A Chicken and Mushroom PotNoodle contains as much Vitamin C as a small bag of Oranges 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mizfit Posted September 9, 2013 Share Posted September 9, 2013 The potato famine was invented as an excuse for the dockyards to justify hiring Irish workers on the cheap. Groundskeeper wullie was invented by matt groening after he met a drunken Scottish fan at Mexico 86. Most of his rants on the tv show were real recordings from a drunken scot. Pumpkins are a key ingredient in Viagra Aids cures HIV 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BigRubberFist Posted September 9, 2013 Share Posted September 9, 2013 A dox is a hybrid cross between a domestic canine and a fox. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ScotlandGer Posted September 9, 2013 Share Posted September 9, 2013 Mick Jagger's favourite microwave meal from Marks and Spencer is Bangers and Mash. He likes that there are real bits of onion through the onion gravy. Keith Richards is not allowed to leave the table until he eats all his vegetables. Ronnie Wood teases the dog with Space Raiders crisps. Charlie Watt forgot his packed lunch yesterday, but his friends shared some of their sandwiches and crisps and then they all went out for a game of football. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mr Prez Posted September 9, 2013 Share Posted September 9, 2013 People with gray hair have touched with the hand of god 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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