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Worst Town In Scotland


I'm Brian

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You're lying there champ. Nevertheless, Greenock's undeniable pockets of rough living are just standard fayre for such a sprawling metropolitan hub - much as you'd see in Glasgow, London or Chicago. It makes up for it, however, by being set in one of the most glorious natural settings in Scotland and retaining its vibrant economic activity, historical landmarks and culture - including hosting one of the most successful provincial football clubs in the land.

A contrast that becomes all the more apparent whenever you drop in to any one of a dozen or so hick towns on the east coast of Scotland. Each home to 20,000 or so desperate, depressed and backward yokels, whose 'big day out' of the year involves visiting Dundee - Dundee FFS - and who don't have stunning natural scenery or a competent football team to save them from their spiral of drink and habitual incest.

The four Angus towns are to Greenock what Port Glasgow is to Greenock - a decrepit bin, permanently living in its shadow.

For anyone who can't be arsed reading this pish, it basically says - Yes, Greenock is a fucking shithole but if you look across the water you can see some pretty hills.

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Carnoustie, absolutely no nightlife, nothing to do, not many things to see!

Only good point is the golf!

Carnoustie has a larger population than Montrose and has the cultural and nightlife amenities that would make someone from aleppo think twice about moving there. A fucking dump.

It's basically the world's biggest travel lodge. Carnoustie people live and work in Dundee and sleep in carnoustie.

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Fraserburgh, Port Glasgow, Alexandria.

Those are the three that stand out from memory and the ones I did my job as quickly as I could before getting out of there.

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If you don't recognise the obvious quality of Dundee I suggest you watch the first three minutes of this film and prepare to feel pretty foolish.

"Dundee... a place that contains all that is best in Scotland... quality of living that is difficult to match elsewhere."

As the camera pans over a bleak vista of grey tower blocks.

Presumably this is some sort of joke?

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Amazing that Greenock is mentioned a lot here. This place has amazing potential with its location and the scenery round about it. But it is indeed a right fuckin midden with the exception of the esplanade area near Gourock.

Port Glasgow is one horrible shitehole with a lovely view as well...

Clackmannanshire is full of shitehole inbred hictowns

Has Greenock seen any improvments with being a cruise ship destination?

Just wondering as I think Dundee are hoping to emulate that as part of the waterfront project.

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Amazing that Greenock is mentioned a lot here. This place has amazing potential with its location and the scenery round about it. But it is indeed a right fuckin midden with the exception of the esplanade area near Gourock.

Port Glasgow is one horrible shitehole with a lovely view as well...

Clackmannanshire is full of shitehole inbred hictowns

You forgot to mention your wife.

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Has Greenock seen any improvments with being a cruise ship destination?

Just wondering as I think Dundee are hoping to emulate that as part of the waterfront project.

I don't think they're getting enough cruise ship traffic to warrant doing much with the actual port. Took a ship from there to the Faroe Islands a couple of years ago - we'd always fancied going, and it was something a bit different for a few days away - and it was all a bit portakabiny and semi-permanent looking.

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Carnoustie has a larger population than Montrose and has the cultural and nightlife amenities that would make someone from aleppo think twice about moving there. A fucking dump.

It's basically the world's biggest travel lodge. Carnoustie people live and work in Dundee and sleep in carnoustie.

Wow, never knew this, thought Snootie was only 6/7k, even if it is ridiculously close. Snootie is close to the Ferry though which makes it slightly better, plus the golf course and hotel is pretty smert.

Agree with the post in general though.

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Invergowrie is closer to the ferry than Carnoustie.

I'm still not sure what my job was with Angus council but it basically involved needing to know data about each of the towns and wards.

My last shit Angus fact of the night.

The Brechin high school catchment area is bigger than Luxembourg.

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