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From the same, ahem, "reporter" that brought us news of Krispy Kreme doughnuts arriving in Dundee, we have this front-page news...

Lorraine Kelly show off air after fire alarm

TV presenter Lorraine Kelly has had a first in her 30 year career this morning - evacuating the ITV studio mid-show due to a fire alarm!

Lorraine was interviewing X Factor reject Stephanie Nala when the alarm started.

TV show bosses cut to a pre-taped segment as the presenter and guests left the building.

Lorraine tweeted:

Lorraine @reallorraine

So sorry! We had to evacuate the building. First time in 30 years!

http://www.eveningtelegraph.co.uk/life/celebrity-life/lorraine-kelly-show-off-air-after-fire-alarm-1.637064

I can't stand Lorraine Kelly and the sycophantic pish towards her from Dundee-based organisations is nauseating.

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DOCTOR who sent a patient rubber ducks for her birthday has been suspended for three months.

Dr Colin Millar faced a Medical Practitioners Tribunal Service hearing after allegations surfaced that he failed to maintain proper boundaries.

A MPTS panel ruled his actions amounted to serious misconduct.

And after considering possible sanctions, the tribunal service members decided to impose a three-month suspension.

The hearing previously heard Dr Millar, a kidney specialist, swapped phone numbers with a 19-year-old, known as Patient A.

The pair exchanged personal text messages while the consultant offered to cook her his “famous chilli”.

He also sent her rubber ducks to her parents’ home as a birthday present.

The panel decided to remove Dr Millar’s name from the medical register for three months.

Dr Millar is still employed by NHS Grampian.

A spokeswoman for NHS Grampian said: “We do not comment on issues affecting any of our members of staff.”

http://www.eveningexpress.co.uk/news/local/aberdeen-doctor-suspended-after-sending-rubber-ducks-to-patient-1.638836

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Fair enough, it might have hurt if it had hit her. But the picture this conjures up is hilarious.

http://www.eveningtelegraph.co.uk/news/local/dundee/it-came-flying-at-me-dundee-woman-tells-of-running-for-life-from-flying-sign-1.651166

I've had similar experiences but only after taking acid the night before.

That paper/website is a goldmine of great/terrible stories. "Dundee full of drugs" and "octopus seen in sea" seem to be a couple of major scoops for the "tele".

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The Courier finally finishes its transformation into the Daily Mail.

http://www.thecourier.co.uk/news/local/dundee/young-dundee-mum-kept-in-cells-for-night-for-parking-on-zig-zags-1.661098

Young Dundee mum kept in cells for night for parking on zig-zags

Shocking, disgraceful, police do what they want.

Depute fiscal James Eodonable told the court police had executed a warrant previously granted when she failed to appear at an earlier hearing.

Oh.

And how many paragraphs did it take for them to reveal the truth? 16.

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How many times did Mozza vote?

http://www.demotix.com/news/6180390/sex-worker-and-mp-protests-against-criminalisation-buying-sex#media-6180356

Charlotte Rose, sex worker of the year 2013, standing as an independent MP in the Rochester and Strood by election protests against the proposed amendments to the Modern Slavery bill which, she claims, will result in the criminalisation of buying sex

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The Courier finally finishes its transformation into the Daily Mail.http://www.thecourier.co.uk/news/local/dundee/young-dundee-mum-kept-in-cells-for-night-for-parking-on-zig-zags-1.661098Shocking, disgraceful, police do what they want.Oh.And how many paragraphs did it take for them to reveal the truth? 16.

Why are they calling her young? She's twentyfuckingnine.

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I'm ashamed to share a city with the newspaper that churns out this shite.

Don't be, Dundee is the source of every great Local News Story. I scour the Inverness Courier and Highland News regularly and apart from publishing massive shame photos of "Local man damaged bus shelter", that's about it. Be proud.

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The Tele is brilliant. They have at least one headline with the word "DRAMA" in it every day. The drama usually involves a cat stuck up a tree or, at best, a square go outside a pub.

Furious masturbation over any Dundee/Dundee United youth player every day as well.

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