Throwaway_tosser Posted September 27, 2016 Share Posted September 27, 2016 4 hours ago, Günther said: How's things went after the move then? All good bud? Aye. Nearly got everything out. She was in full crazy mode on the texts yesterday. Well shot of that. Still sleeping at mates houses but have made good progress in sourcing a new bachelor pad. In fact have one that is in what I think will be a very Tinder-friendly area so the future is bright! 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tree house tam Posted September 27, 2016 Share Posted September 27, 2016 17 minutes ago, Throwaway_tosser said: Aye. Nearly got everything out. She was in full crazy mode on the texts yesterday. Well shot of that. Still sleeping at mates houses but have made good progress in sourcing a new bachelor pad. In fact have one that is in what I think will be a very Tinder-friendly area so the future is bright! Yaaass get it right oot the system. It's what Jesus would've done. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lisa Cuddy Posted September 27, 2016 Share Posted September 27, 2016 4 hours ago, Marr1 said: Got this yesterday, just for shits and giggles. Some of the photos of folk claiming to be 18 are fucking hilarious. There's been some fucking hard paper rounds going on around here. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dee Man Posted October 14, 2016 Share Posted October 14, 2016 Good luck to anyone using Tinder or any dating site. Twice in the last couple of days I've bought stuff off of local buy and sell pages and both of the sellers were good looking females on their profile pics. It's fair to say however that their photographs were not a fair representation of their true selves. Jesus. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Poet of the Macabre Posted December 24, 2016 Share Posted December 24, 2016 Brought here by the Divorce thread. Good laughs. Recently got Tinder again but think it must be dying off a bit. Some absolute monstrosities around Stirling and I'm not exactly Mr Olympia myself. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Musselburgh Jambo Posted December 24, 2016 Share Posted December 24, 2016 On 14/10/2016 at 02:35, Emil Borkhausen said: I just sent a message to a bird I matched with a week ago. She describes herself in her bio as a feminist. "Hiya, sorry for taking so long to make the first move. I was waiting to see if your feminism was more important to you than your expectation of chivalry" I get all the girls. Opportunity missed. If you tell a feminist that you are also in tune with your feminine side as you are really a lesbian trapped in a mans body, that usually wins them over. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sjc Posted December 24, 2016 Share Posted December 24, 2016 4 hours ago, Poet of the Macabre said: Brought here by the Divorce thread. Good laughs. Recently got Tinder again but think it must be dying off a bit. Some absolute monstrosities around Stirling and I'm not exactly Mr Olympia myself. You're welcome! 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gaz FFC Posted December 24, 2016 Share Posted December 24, 2016 On Friday, October 14, 2016 at 02:35, Emil Borkhausen said: I just sent a message to a bird I matched with a week ago. She describes herself in her bio as a feminist. "Hiya, sorry for taking so long to make the first move. I was waiting to see if your feminism was more important to you than your expectation of chivalry" I get all the girls. What mental dude is wanting a slice of that hell? Feminist is a mental burds way of warning guys to stay the f**k away 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sergeant Wilson Posted December 28, 2016 Share Posted December 28, 2016 1 hour ago, Emil Borkhausen said: I met my current bird on Tinder and she was saying most guys open the chat by asking for nude photos and immediately get binned. If that's the level of competition then it really shouldna be hard to score yourself a dame on Tinder. Somewhere in between asking for photos and "how's you?" is generally the way to go. I matched with my now-bird the morning Donald Trump got elected. My opening line was - "Just seen the news, fancy a shag before the impending nuclear apocalypse?". She asked how long I thought we'd have. I replied "dinna worry, I'll no need long". Got her laughing and broke the ice. Went on a few dates. Nickers aff on the third date and it's been a glorious pumpathon ever since. And they say romance is dead. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
killiepiemuncher Posted December 28, 2016 Share Posted December 28, 2016 Glorious pumpathon. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
itzdrk Posted December 28, 2016 Share Posted December 28, 2016 10 minutes ago, Emil Borkhausen said: By the way - if you're looking for an idea for that difficult second date. Most towns in Scotland do guided ghost walks around old graveyards. I did that for the second date wi my bird. Gets her scared and clinging onto you. You can then gie it the "Dinna worry pal, I'm here" patter. Off to the pub for a couple of drinks afterwards to laugh about it then walk her back to the station. Ghost walk dates are a total winner. Third date was dinner at my place so you'll also need to be able to cook. And make sure you've got bacon in the fridge because if it goes well then providing breakfast is a good way of making sure you get another go. Going on dates first and seeing them after? Mental behaviour, sort yerself out. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Heart of Northern Posted December 28, 2016 Share Posted December 28, 2016 f**k sake. Haven't seen this thread in ages. Just read through 12 pages. Has some tinder fun a year or so back but f**k all compared to some on here. !!! Brilliant reading . 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Heart of Northern Posted December 29, 2016 Share Posted December 29, 2016 On 23/09/2016 at 21:37, mrcat1990 said: So tonight after about five months on Tinder I had my first real disaster and what a disaster it was. With uni season being back on and living in the west end of Glasgow there's suddenly a lot of new women in town. So obviously I've got stuck in and last week met a girl from Thailand doing her masters. Now, obviously everyone makes the ladyboy jokes when you're meeting a Thai girl but you just laugh them off. However while on this date I did notice she had big hands. I pointed this out to workmates and pals and everyone started filling my head with the idea I was going to be providing fellatio within the coming week. The girl in question invited me up to hers tonight and obviously I was willing to go see what happened. We watch a bit of tv and as you do start getting off with each other and from there head to the bedroom. First the top comes off and she has obvious fake boobs which should've been a big clue. However I quickly got her jeans off to reveal womenly parts. Looked normal and did the normal things. Huzzah! Or so I thought... After beginning the initial..ahem...entry and general sex movements I realised that her parts weren't quite as willing to accept my full dick as most vaginas are. At this point came the question "Errm don't take this the wrong way, but did you used to be a dude?". Confirmation was provided and mission was aborted. Told her wasn't particularly cool lying but not too worry and made my sharpish exit. Stay safe kids. Jaysus. Had to show my girlfriend this story. She laughed but was more interested in how they make a pussy out of a bellchief. Burds eh? 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sergeant Wilson Posted December 29, 2016 Share Posted December 29, 2016 3 minutes ago, Heart of Northern said: Had to show my girlfriend this story. She laughed but was more interested in how they make a pussy out of a bellchief. Burds eh? They hollow it and tuck the skin into a hole. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RiG Posted December 29, 2016 Share Posted December 29, 2016 On 28/12/2016 at 17:09, Emil Borkhausen said: I met my current bird on Tinder and she was saying most guys open the chat by asking for nude photos and immediately get binned. If that's the level of competition then it really shouldna be hard to score yourself a dame on Tinder. Somewhere in between asking for photos and "how's you?" is generally the way to go. I matched with my now-bird the morning Donald Trump got elected. My opening line was - "Just seen the news, fancy a shag before the impending nuclear apocalypse?". She asked how long I thought we'd have. I replied "dinna worry, I'll no need long". Got her laughing and broke the ice. Went on a few dates. Nickers aff on the third date and it's been a glorious pumpathon ever since. On 28/12/2016 at 21:48, Emil Borkhausen said: By the way - if you're looking for an idea for that difficult second date. Most towns in Scotland do guided ghost walks around old graveyards. I did that for the second date wi my bird. Gets her scared and clinging onto you. You can then gie it the "Dinna worry pal, I'm here" patter. Off to the pub for a couple of drinks afterwards to laugh about it then walk her back to the station. Ghost walk dates are a total winner. Third date was dinner at my place so you'll also need to be able to cook. And make sure you've got bacon in the fridge because if it goes well then providing breakfast is a good way of making sure you get another go next weekend. Duff man got a new account on here then? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Heart of Northern Posted December 29, 2016 Share Posted December 29, 2016 38 minutes ago, Sergeant Wilson said: They hollow it and tuck the skin into a hole. I've just shared that thanks. So the next question was if you rattled her would it pop back out. Think golf brolly in a gale! Obviously I'm not expecting you to know answer. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jamamafegan Posted April 27, 2017 Share Posted April 27, 2017 Regular horrendous patter I'm seeing on Tinder: "I am a dog lover" "Pizza [emoji173] " "Gin enthusiast" "Love travelling/looking for a travelling partner" "I love food!" - usually a fatty Anyone else familiar with this dire chat? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mrcat1990 Posted April 27, 2017 Share Posted April 27, 2017 Regular horrendous patter I'm seeing on Tinder: "I am a dog lover" "Pizza [emoji173] " "Gin enthusiast" "Love travelling/looking for a travelling partner" "I love food!" - usually a fatty Anyone else familiar with this dire chat? The travelling chat fucks me off. Everyone likes going on holiday for fucks sake. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sergeant Wilson Posted April 27, 2017 Share Posted April 27, 2017 3 minutes ago, jamamafegan said: Regular horrendous patter I'm seeing on Tinder: "I am a dog lover" "Pizza " "Gin enthusiast" "Love travelling/looking for a travelling partner" "I love food!" - usually a fatty Anyone else familiar with this dire chat? Are you looking for someone to share your life? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zen Archer (Raconteur) Posted April 27, 2017 Share Posted April 27, 2017 6 minutes ago, jamamafegan said: Regular horrendous patter I'm seeing on Tinder: "I am a dog lover" "Pizza " "Gin enthusiast" "Love travelling/looking for a travelling partner" "I love food!" - usually a fatty Anyone else familiar with this dire chat? The gin thing used to refer to back street abortionists. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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