D.A.F.C Posted January 27, 2015 Share Posted January 27, 2015 I had to make a fecking video teaching people how to make and use fishbone diagrams. Suffice to say, I've never used one or encountered one in my entire life elsewhere. Happy to report that their inventor, Kaoru Ishikawa, is dead. I hope he choked on a fish bone. Japs had the right intentions but main problem is most people here don't execute it properly so it's just some daft sideshow. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
banana Posted January 27, 2015 Share Posted January 27, 2015 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MEADOWXI Posted January 27, 2015 Share Posted January 27, 2015 (edited) Have you drawn a fishbone diagram yet? These things annoy me, its like putting up a brick wall infront of the issue. It doesn't make it easier to solve it's just a tool to make someone look good. Gemba, muda, kaizen, TIMWOOD, DMIAC, PDCA, 8D Just fucking fix the issue and f**k right off to f**k. I had to make a fecking video teaching people how to make and use fishbone diagrams. Suffice to say, I've never used one or encountered one in my entire life elsewhere. Happy to report that their inventor, Kaoru Ishikawa, is dead. I hope he choked on a fish bone. Fishbone diagram seen..... Fishbone diagram mocked. They weren't impressed when I asked, 'Why not stand it on it's end and call it a Christmas tree', I did ask WHY five times. Edited January 27, 2015 by MEADOWXI 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BigMartyn86 Posted January 27, 2015 Share Posted January 27, 2015 To go with Lean and Six Sigma; Apparently to resolve issues and deal with problems we should have 5 Why Meetings. Ask why something happened. The answer to that, you ask why again, and repeat. By the end of 5 Whys a resolution should have been reached................. By the end of 3 whys I want to reach for a gun. Watch out it could be coming to an office near you soon folks. Why? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BFTD Posted January 27, 2015 Share Posted January 27, 2015 "HER CRIES BREAK OUT INTO SCREAMS AS SHE NOW BECOMES HYSTERICAL WITH GRIEF! WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY!!!" Sums up this thread pretty well 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
D.A.F.C Posted January 27, 2015 Share Posted January 27, 2015 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
davie2wheels Posted January 27, 2015 Share Posted January 27, 2015 Agile scrum. Any time it's suggested, I want to stamp on the person who said it. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sergeant Wilson Posted January 27, 2015 Share Posted January 27, 2015 Agile scrumI might change my name to that. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Boghead ranter Posted January 27, 2015 Share Posted January 27, 2015 To go with Lean and Six Sigma; Apparently to resolve issues and deal with problems we should have 5 Why Meetings. Ask why something happened. The answer to that, you ask why again, and repeat. By the end of 5 Whys a resolution should have been reached................. By the end of 3 whys I want to reach for a gun. Watch out it could be coming to an office near you soon folks. ^^^in the diagnostic phase^^^ 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
welshbairn Posted January 28, 2015 Share Posted January 28, 2015 I thought "quantum" as in "amount" was invented during the Rangers collapse to explain all the complicated financial chicanery going on. Just heard it on BBC news referring to ISIS, as in "the quantum of risk may increase". You don't even need to replace quantum with amount there, "The risk may increase." is quite sufficient. I can only conclude that it's a word used by people who don't know what they're on about to confuse people into thinking that they do. Leave the word to mindboggling physics. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Boghead ranter Posted January 28, 2015 Share Posted January 28, 2015 genuine excerpt of a training manual I was reading today. Contact Centre – A centralised place where messages in a variety of media are sent and received. Software, hardware and human infrastructure are maintained at the contact centre to manage customer interactions. Not even 'human resources' - human infrastructure. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
djchapsticks Posted January 28, 2015 Share Posted January 28, 2015 Does anyone think that any of these cnuts actually believe or understand any of the jargon they spout? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
~~~ Posted January 28, 2015 Share Posted January 28, 2015 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
banana Posted January 29, 2015 Share Posted January 29, 2015 (edited) Does anyone think that any of these cnuts actually believe or understand any of the jargon they spout? That's the point. If they barely understand it then the audience doesn't understands it so you need to keep employing people who understand it most - those who barely understand it. Edited January 29, 2015 by banana 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BFTD Posted January 29, 2015 Share Posted January 29, 2015 genuine excerpt of a training manual I was reading today. Not even 'human resources' - human infrastructure. They will line their contact centre with the bones of your dead 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
D.A.F.C Posted January 29, 2015 Share Posted January 29, 2015 That's the point. If they barely understand it then the audience doesn't understands it so you need to keep employing people who understand it most - those who barely understand it. I think it's used to try and justify jobs and to have power over people. I do think that 6S and some of the tools are useful but it's nothing new really. Why not just reword it all in easy to understand english? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
banana Posted January 29, 2015 Share Posted January 29, 2015 I do think that 6S and some of the tools are useful but it's nothing new really. Why not just reword it all in easy to understand english? vvv I think it's used to try and justify jobs and to have power over people. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
P45 Posted January 29, 2015 Share Posted January 29, 2015 Apologies if it's been posted but the worse one I've heard was- "Let's run that idea up the flag pole and see who salutes" 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jacksgranda Posted January 29, 2015 Share Posted January 29, 2015 (edited) Apologies if it's been posted but the worse one I've heard was- "Let's run that idea up the flag pole and see who salutes" That one won't work in Belfast... Edited January 29, 2015 by Jacksgranda 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ya Bezzer! Posted January 29, 2015 Share Posted January 29, 2015 Business speak is exactly what it looks and sounds like - dehumanizing gobbledygook written by cowardly, characterless corporate whores who have subsumed themselves in the barren soulless philosophy of the business world due to being, without doubt, the most artless and useless dullards extant in the human species. Or to put it in simpler terms - shite written by c***s. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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