sergie's no1 fan Posted July 3, 2014 Share Posted July 3, 2014 I stole a wean for a laugh when I was in Portugal 7 years ago, forgot where I left her! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Happy Buddie Posted July 3, 2014 Share Posted July 3, 2014 In La Baule, France, me and the lads were queuing to get into a disco (showing my age) attached to a very swanky hotel. Lots of drink had been taken previously, and I needed to releive the pressure, so nipped round the side behind some trees for a pee. Next thing this man mountain of a bouncer has a hold of me by the back of my neck and is booting lumps out of my backside. He threw me out of the complex, at which point I was all of a sudden very bold and challenged him to come ootside, calling him a poulet cos he wasn't willing to participate. Next day I went back to see what he'd been so upset about. The trees I'd been peeing against were part of a floodlit area outside the picture windows of the hotel's 4 star restaurant, and I'd been giving the diners a demonstration of "artistic abilities with a penis". One of the lads on the same campsite as us later told us he'd seen the Maitre D' flying out to tell the bouncer to sort me out. I probably spoiled a few meals that night. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Real Saints Posted July 3, 2014 Share Posted July 3, 2014 I can't remember which country it was, but it was really boiling there. I didn't bother to put any sun-cream on my body and I woke up really sun-burnt the next morning. My skin was red and painful. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ICTChris Posted July 3, 2014 Share Posted July 3, 2014 I think this girl's getting a bit of a tough time here. It's not like it descended into a bukkake session or something. If someone had offered me the chance of a free drink to motorboat 24 girls on holiday, I probably wouldn't even take the drink... BUT WAHT ABOUT HER MUM AND DAD, THEY CAN'T BE PROUD EH If she wants to suck a few dozen cocks then let her, she's not hurting anyone. Having said that if she's from Portadown she'll probably have her house pipe-bombed by the COMMUNITAY in the next few weeks. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cracowjambo Posted July 3, 2014 Share Posted July 3, 2014 I stole a wean for a laugh when I was in Portugal 7 years ago, forgot where I left her! Are you a average height portugese looking man or a gerry mccann lookalike Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Venti Posted July 3, 2014 Share Posted July 3, 2014 All that cum mustve quenched her thirst since she only wanted a £3 drink... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Al B Posted July 3, 2014 Share Posted July 3, 2014 My Mrs is from Portadown (no, she hasn't been in Magaluf recently )...i'll need to ask if she knows who it is! Does anyone know the bird's name? In fact...probably best not to put her name on here, drop me a wee PM if anyone knows? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zen Archer (Raconteur) Posted July 3, 2014 Share Posted July 3, 2014 My Mrs is from Portadown (no, she hasn't been in Magaluf recently )...i'll need to ask if she knows who it is! Does anyone know the bird's name? In fact...probably best not to put her name on here, drop me a wee PM if anyone knows? Dana Phlegming. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mizfit Posted July 3, 2014 Share Posted July 3, 2014 Told a group of Birmingham lassies it was my stag do in marmaris, few lap dances from them, a wee bit of fondling happened before I admitted the truth to them. Scenes when they found out Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheLip69 Posted July 3, 2014 Share Posted July 3, 2014 Back in the late '70's I went to Salou with the first wife. we'd only been married about a year. We got in tow with this family from Glasgow, Mother, Father, 4 kids, and Granny. It was a good laugh sitting by the pool having a bit of banter. The Granny was in her mid fifties and not too bad at all. A MILF we'd call her nowadays. We all went out together one night and I found a bar that did Guinness, I cant stand Lager and you couldnt get a pint of Heavy anywhere, so I got belted into that all night. The next day my stomach was given me gyp, and when we went down to the pool I just work my football shorts as I knew I'd be paying more visits to the loo than the pool. Anyhow I was getting too warm and my stomach was feeling a bit bad, I dived into the pool to cool off, did a couple of lengths and climbed out. I said to the wife I'm going up to get changed and maybe have lie down for a wee while. I get in the lift and as the doors are about to close Granny comes in beside me. Immediately tells me she noticed me advertising the goods. I looked at her as if she was mad, then she points out that nylon shorts dont leave a lot to the imagination when they get wet. She then started kissing me and as the lift stopped, grabbed my cock and, still kissing me dragged me out of the lift and across to her room which was on the floor below mine. As soon as we got in still kissing, she whipped the shorts of me and went to town. A few minutes later she pushed me onto the bed and went out to the balcony, I thought it was to check no-one was coming because she shared her room with the kids. I found out later it was to hang my shorts on the balcony to let her daughter know to keep away her kids and, although I didn't know this at the time, my wife. The rest of the holiday was nerve-wracking as all of them, even the kids, knew what we'd been up to and I was absolutely terrified one of them would say something when they were drink, which was most of the time. Still it was well worth it, I cant remember the name of the hotel, I cant remember what year it we were there, I cant remember the name of that family, Christ, I can barely remember the first wife's name, but I remember every second, of every minute, I was in that room. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ForzaDundee Posted July 3, 2014 Share Posted July 3, 2014 Back in the late '70's I went to Salou with the first wife. we'd only been married about a year. We got in tow with this family from Glasgow, Mother, Father, 4 kids, and Granny. It was a good laugh sitting by the pool having a bit of banter. The Granny was in her mid fifties and not too bad at all. A MILF we'd call her nowadays. We all went out together one night and I found a bar that did Guinness, I cant stand Lager and you couldnt get a pint of Heavy anywhere, so I got belted into that all night. The next day my stomach was given me gyp, and when we went down to the pool I just work my football shorts as I knew I'd be paying more visits to the loo than the pool. Anyhow I was getting too warm and my stomach was feeling a bit bad, I dived into the pool to cool off, did a couple of lengths and climbed out. I said to the wife I'm going up to get changed and maybe have lie down for a wee while. I get in the lift and as the doors are about to close Granny comes in beside me. Immediately tells me she noticed me advertising the goods. I looked at her as if she was mad, then she points out that nylon shorts dont leave a lot to the imagination when they get wet. She then started kissing me and as the lift stopped, grabbed my cock and, still kissing me dragged me out of the lift and across to her room which was on the floor below mine. As soon as we got in still kissing, she whipped the shorts of me and went to town. A few minutes later she pushed me onto the bed and went out to the balcony, I thought it was to check no-one was coming because she shared her room with the kids. I found out later it was to hang my shorts on the balcony to let her daughter know to keep away her kids and, although I didn't know this at the time, my wife. The rest of the holiday was nerve-wracking as all of them, even the kids, knew what we'd been up to and I was absolutely terrified one of them would say something when they were drink, which was most of the time. Still it was well worth it, I cant remember the name of the hotel, I cant remember what year it we were there, I cant remember the name of that family, Christ, I can barely remember the first wife's name, but I remember every second, of every minute, I was in that room. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheLip69 Posted July 3, 2014 Share Posted July 3, 2014 Nowadays, you'd probably be right Mozza. lol Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cardinal Richelieu Posted July 3, 2014 Share Posted July 3, 2014 Christ. Not a GILF story that'll get me to sleep. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jamamafegan Posted July 3, 2014 Share Posted July 3, 2014 Just watched the video there. Absolutely tragic for everybody involved. f**k having some skanks mouth around your cock seconds after she's sucked somebody else off before. Still tragic for the guy who had the privileged of getting the first blow. A 2 second blow. Absolutely tragic. Makes me glad I've never been on a lads holiday tbh. It's pathetic that people are outraged by it all though, it's just another night in shagaluf. Would imagine far worse goes down there in the clubs. "Sexy And I Know It" playing in the background too. You have to laugh Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Estragon Posted July 4, 2014 Share Posted July 4, 2014 Back in the late '70's I went to Salou with the first wife. we'd only been married about a year. We got in tow with this family from Glasgow, Mother, Father, 4 kids, and Granny. It was a good laugh sitting by the pool having a bit of banter. The Granny was in her mid fifties and not too bad at all. A MILF we'd call her nowadays. We all went out together one night and I found a bar that did Guinness, I cant stand Lager and you couldnt get a pint of Heavy anywhere, so I got belted into that all night. The next day my stomach was given me gyp, and when we went down to the pool I just work my football shorts as I knew I'd be paying more visits to the loo than the pool. Anyhow I was getting too warm and my stomach was feeling a bit bad, I dived into the pool to cool off, did a couple of lengths and climbed out. I said to the wife I'm going up to get changed and maybe have lie down for a wee while. I get in the lift and as the doors are about to close Granny comes in beside me. Immediately tells me she noticed me advertising the goods. I looked at her as if she was mad, then she points out that nylon shorts dont leave a lot to the imagination when they get wet. She then started kissing me and as the lift stopped, grabbed my cock and, still kissing me dragged me out of the lift and across to her room which was on the floor below mine. As soon as we got in still kissing, she whipped the shorts of me and went to town. A few minutes later she pushed me onto the bed and went out to the balcony, I thought it was to check no-one was coming because she shared her room with the kids. I found out later it was to hang my shorts on the balcony to let her daughter know to keep away her kids and, although I didn't know this at the time, my wife. The rest of the holiday was nerve-wracking as all of them, even the kids, knew what we'd been up to and I was absolutely terrified one of them would say something when they were drink, which was most of the time. Still it was well worth it, I cant remember the name of the hotel, I cant remember what year it we were there, I cant remember the name of that family, Christ, I can barely remember the first wife's name, but I remember every second, of every minute, I was in that room. Well this definitely happened Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
banana Posted July 4, 2014 Share Posted July 4, 2014 This is one of the best things I've ever seen in my life, anywhere. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mizfit Posted July 4, 2014 Share Posted July 4, 2014 Just watched the video there. Absolutely tragic for everybody involved. f**k having some skanks mouth around your cock seconds after she's sucked somebody else off before. Still tragic for the guy who had the privileged of getting the first blow. A 2 second blow. Absolutely tragic. Makes me glad I've never been on a lads holiday tbh. It's pathetic that people are outraged by it all though, it's just another night in shagaluf. Would imagine far worse goes down there in the clubs. "Sexy And I Know It" playing in the background too. You have to laugh I'm going away to Ibiza in august with my mates, the worst I've ever seen was a group of lassies on a booze cruise having to take there bikini tops off and dive into the water to get a free drink. I think if I seen someone suck 24 cocks I would walk out the bar and go to another one. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jamamafegan Posted July 4, 2014 Share Posted July 4, 2014 Why? Going a lads holiday doesn't mean you'd have been Dick 24 in that dirty skanks mouth... Or are you worried you'd have been Dick 25? Because lads holidays look shit. Go abroad to get absolutely shit-faced in some tacky bar and mingle with cretinous English people? No thanks. I'd much rather visit a country for it's culture and see what it's really like. I can get absolutely steaming in my own country, why would I want to do it abroad in some shite bar with arrogant, Geordie shore wannabe wankers? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LinkinFighter Posted July 4, 2014 Share Posted July 4, 2014 Lads holidays are the absolute tits tbh. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mrcat1990 Posted July 4, 2014 Share Posted July 4, 2014 Because lads holidays look shit. Go abroad to get absolutely shit-faced in some tacky bar and mingle with cretinous English people? No thanks. I'd much rather visit a country for it's culture and see what it's really like. I can get absolutely steaming in my own country, why would I want to do it abroad in some shite bar with arrogant, Geordie shore wannabe wankers? Agree with the sentiment about shit resorts that play shite tunes and rammed full of neddy c***s. However what about you and a few #ladz lording it up in Berlin or say Barcelona? Can do culture and get pissed in good places? That idea I dig. Magaluf/Kavos/(generic shitehole abroad) looks and sounds like hell to me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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