Acastus Posted March 30, 2018 Share Posted March 30, 2018 This c**t. The ginger guys also a dick. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
D.A.F.C Posted March 30, 2018 Share Posted March 30, 2018 Countryfile should be a good show but I don't like it because of the presenters. I can tolerate the wid wifie but that Matt Baker is a cock. The BBC pick a golden child and put them on every show going. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Toby Posted March 30, 2018 Share Posted March 30, 2018 i'm not going through the whole thread to see if it's been mentioned, but every single person ever to appear in a People's Postcode Lottery advert. 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sergeant Wilson Posted March 31, 2018 Share Posted March 31, 2018 10 hours ago, D.A.F.C said: Countryfile should be a good show but I don't like it because of the presenters. I can tolerate the wid wifie but that Matt Baker is a cock. The BBC pick a golden child and put them on every show going. Apart from it being about smelly country bumpkins and homicidal farmers. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shandon Par Posted March 31, 2018 Share Posted March 31, 2018 All these cricket folk polluting the news. I think this one is called David Warner. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bairnardo Posted March 31, 2018 Share Posted March 31, 2018 I'm like that after a Madras and a few pints. Hes been scratching his balls with sandpaper which probably explains why his dial looks like that. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eednud Posted March 31, 2018 Share Posted March 31, 2018 All these cricket folk polluting the news. I think this one is called David Warner. He doesn’t fit this category because he’s an absolute c**t or to put it another way a fucking c**t! 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tamthebam Posted April 1, 2018 Share Posted April 1, 2018 I took an irrational dislike to the student lassie sitting across from me on the Aberdeen train today who kept fiddling with her hair. I felt like telling her, out of badness, that she'd missed the grey one. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tongue_tied_danny Posted April 1, 2018 Share Posted April 1, 2018 Muriel Spark fucking pisses me off. I'll admit that I don't know a single thing about her and that I have never read any of her books but there is just something about her name that makes me wish I had the opportunity to boot her in the pie... 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hedgecutter Posted April 1, 2018 Author Share Posted April 1, 2018 I took an irrational dislike to the student lassie sitting across from me on the Aberdeen train today who kept fiddling with her hair. I felt like telling her, out of badness, that she'd missed the grey one. Train tables are great for this. Boot them in the pie and then innocently act like nothing happened, just like the whole Kicking Bishop Brennan Up the Arse thing. By the time she clocked that you must have done it, she'll have no evidence or a clue where you've gone. You're welcome. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
welshbairn Posted April 1, 2018 Share Posted April 1, 2018 6 minutes ago, Hedgecutter said: Train tables are great for this. Boot them in the pie and then just act like nothing happened, just like the whole Kicking Bishop Brennan Up the Arse thing. By the time she clocked that you did indeed do it, you'll be miles away. You're welcome. Unfortunately still facing each other. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hedgecutter Posted April 1, 2018 Author Share Posted April 1, 2018 Unfortunately still facing each other. Which is the ideal positioning for pie kicking seeing as there's a table to hide the crime. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
welshbairn Posted April 1, 2018 Share Posted April 1, 2018 (edited) 12 minutes ago, Hedgecutter said: Which is the ideal positioning for pie kicking seeing as there's a table to hide the evidence. It's more complicated than you're proposing. It's more likely to effect a loud scream than Bishop Brennan's catatonia. So you have to prepare to defeat any possible forensic investigation , having sterile Tesco bags covering both feet*. But then you have to get rid of them in a carriage full of concerned citizens heading in your direction, never mind the distraught woman you've just assaulted. You really haven't thought this through I'm afraid. * One Tesco bag would do for a half hearted pie kicking. Edited April 1, 2018 by welshbairn 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tony Ferrino Posted April 1, 2018 Share Posted April 1, 2018 On 31/03/2018 at 09:38, Shandon Par said: All these cricket folk polluting the news. I think this one is called David Warner. 5/10 Easter bunny impression. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AMMjag Posted April 2, 2018 Share Posted April 2, 2018 On 18/03/2018 at 16:17, KillieCon said: I fucking hate Tim Lovejoy and could watch that all day. Look at the little c**t squirm. Martin Freeman’s just gone right up in my estimations despite those Vodafone adverts. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MEADOWXI Posted April 2, 2018 Share Posted April 2, 2018 1 hour ago, AMMjag said: I fucking hate Tim Lovejoy and could watch that all day. Look at the little c**t squirm. Martin Freeman’s just gone right up in my estimations despite those Vodafone adverts. Lovejoy is a loathsome ignoranant c**t, the type that would call themselves 'a footie fan', Thinks footie began in 1992, and would fail any quiz about Chelsea pre Abramovich. His knowledge of football would embarass a senile pish-stained tramp from Outer Mongolia where the national sport is Yak-fucking, He the media type that thinks they 'part of the football industry' because he has Lamps (never refers to a player/ex-player when he can use his nickname) number on his mobile. And he an unfunny cockwomble. And you can't think of any proper reason you dislike him. 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tamthebam Posted April 2, 2018 Share Posted April 2, 2018 5 hours ago, MEADOWXI said: His knowledge of football would embarass a senile pish-stained tramp from Outer Mongolia where the national sport is Yak-fucking, so, his knowledge is better than your average Scottish football journalist then. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
coprolite Posted April 4, 2018 Share Posted April 4, 2018 Not a specific individual, but a category. Anybody wearing those stupid earrings that make a big stretchy hole in the earlobe. Amazonian and borneoean tribes are exempt for cultural reasons. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tongue_tied_danny Posted April 7, 2018 Share Posted April 7, 2018 Matthew Broderick is a fucking fanny. I don't think I would ever get bored of punching his smug coupon. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hedgecutter Posted April 7, 2018 Author Share Posted April 7, 2018 Actually, I'm retracting my OP. Claire Balding is a bint of the highest order, and there's very good reason to hate the cow. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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