Shandon Par Posted December 19, 2014 Share Posted December 19, 2014 I was once trying to clear a blockage in the hoover hose in my office. Being too lazy to find any tools to help do the job I tried blowing through it but no joy. Being a keen smoker at the time I reckoned my suction powers would be strong so sucked the end of the vacuum hose and hey presto, the blockage cleared. Sadly, I got a lung full of years of manky office dusty and nearly choked to death in a cloud of stour as my co-workers nearly ended themselves at my stupidity. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bigmouth Strikes Again Posted December 19, 2014 Share Posted December 19, 2014 A woman in my work was complaining that her data projector wasn't working properly and that the picture was 'all blurry'. It does help if you take the fucking lense cover off, you stupid fucking bitch. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thisal Posted December 19, 2014 Share Posted December 19, 2014 my mate bought a Renault with a sun roof which started leaking. He took it back to the garage (a shower of cowboys. Let's call them something like.... Arnold Clerk). He was advised to smear Vaseline around the rim of the sun roof.... No he missheard they said put vaseline round your rim. Your about to be shafted. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cardinal Richelieu Posted December 19, 2014 Share Posted December 19, 2014 Percussive maintenance as it's called in the trade (not sure which one) is surprisingly effective. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sjc Posted December 19, 2014 Share Posted December 19, 2014 No he missheard they said put vaseline round your rim. Your about to be shafted. No mate, that's Arnold Clark you're thinking of. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jock001 Posted December 19, 2014 Share Posted December 19, 2014 Arnold Clark is about to be shafted? Good. He deserves it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
madwullie Posted December 19, 2014 Share Posted December 19, 2014 Going out of the room after pressing play on the tape was the only way to get Emlyn hughes international soccer to load on my amstrad Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shotgun Posted December 19, 2014 Share Posted December 19, 2014 I once attended a training class which was held up for over an hour when the overhead projector stopped working. People had travelled in from all over the country so the time being lost was a big deal. The problem was eventually solved when they noticed that one of the other attendees had unplugged the projector from the wall so she could use the outlet for her phone charger. Oh, how we laughed. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NorthernLights Posted December 19, 2014 Share Posted December 19, 2014 A friend told me of a time when he worked in IT support for the council and a user was having issues with their PC. They wanted to free up some space so had gone around and deleted various dll files as according to him they didn't appear to be important/do anything. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gav-ffc Posted December 19, 2014 Share Posted December 19, 2014 We were getting water in through a wall at a flat we rented last year. This was down to the chimney not being covered correctly. The advice from the letting agency was to "air the room out until dry" Worked short term till the wall began to collapse after doing so and needed replaced. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gav-ffc Posted December 19, 2014 Share Posted December 19, 2014 We were getting water in through a wall at a flat we rented last year. This was down to the chimney not being covered correctly. The advice from the letting agency was to "air the room out until dry" Worked short term till the wall began to collapse after doing so and needed replaced. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zen Archer (Raconteur) Posted December 19, 2014 Share Posted December 19, 2014 For it to happen once is unfortunate, for it to happen twice is really unlucky. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gav-ffc Posted December 19, 2014 Share Posted December 19, 2014 Haha. On my phone so the post will have to stay. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shotgun Posted December 19, 2014 Share Posted December 19, 2014 But there wouldn't be any picture if the lens cover had been left on... I suspect he meant one of those translucent, thin, white plastic ones. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bigmouth Strikes Again Posted December 20, 2014 Share Posted December 20, 2014 I suspect he meant one of those translucent, thin, white plastic ones. Yes. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cardinal Richelieu Posted December 20, 2014 Share Posted December 20, 2014 Top tip. If you're doing a Powerpoint presentation and it's all going to shit, press the letter B. Powerpoint "crashes" and you're off the hook. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DAFC Posted December 20, 2014 Share Posted December 20, 2014 I find making every letter fly in with car brake screeching sounds does the trick. If that doesn't work then use a picture of Chris Kamara in some funny altercation whilst doing the David Brent office dance. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
19QOS19 Posted December 20, 2014 Share Posted December 20, 2014 Did any towel work or did it have be a terry towelling one ? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jordo1872 Posted December 20, 2014 Share Posted December 20, 2014 Not technology but this reminded me of an incident over 10 years ago when my mate's missus locked the car keys in her car. It was an old fiesta with manual locks so me and my mate planned to try and slide some wire down the side of the window, catch the latch and open the door that way. I asked her if she had a spare coat hanger. She returned with a wooden one. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mtln Posted December 23, 2014 Share Posted December 23, 2014 Not technology but this reminded me of an incident over 10 years ago when my mate's missus locked the car keys in her car. It was an old fiesta with manual locks so me and my mate planned to try and slide some wire down the side of the window, catch the latch and open the door that way. I asked her if she had a spare coat hanger. She returned with a wooden one. Neil Ruddock told that one on Soccer Am about 5 year ago Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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