MEADOWXI Posted June 25, 2015 Share Posted June 25, 2015 Astonishing stupidity. You have to mock her for ages about it. It's the only way she'll learn and it's for her own good. You're actually doing her a service by making fun of her for it, as she'll remember the ridicule and perhaps might think again about putting her hand in moving machinery in the future. That's fucking mental. I tend to try and keep my fingers away from sharp rotating blades as a rule. Don't have another half at the moment, but I'm the least tolerating person ever. So I have no doubt within a week if have filled up this thread with stupidity that annoyed me. Hell I get annoyed at my own stupidity, which admittedly doesn't happen very often. She thinks it just a good reason to never have to cut the grass again and it to always be my job..... I think it just a good, a lucky it wasn't more serious lesson in not being a cretin. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DA Baracus Posted June 25, 2015 Share Posted June 25, 2015 She thinks it just a good reason to never have to cut the grass again and it to always be my job..... I think it just a good, a lucky it wasn't more serious lesson in not being a cretin. You have to one up her then (easy now!) and actually get a finger chopped off so she has to do it. Of course this leads to a very dangerous game of one upmanship whereby one of you will then have to get their hand cut off, then their arm, then cut in half, then die. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MEADOWXI Posted June 25, 2015 Share Posted June 25, 2015 You have to one up her then (easy now!) and actually get a finger chopped off so she has to do it. Of course this leads to a very dangerous game of one upmanship whereby one of you will then have to get their hand cut off, then their arm, then cut in half, then die. It's a petrol mower so can't even get her to run over the electric cable and fry herself. Before anybody points out that petrol mowers have a safety feature where if you release the handle they switch off, to compound her idiocy she had used a cable tie to hold this release bar in place so that she could let go of the handle without the mower switching off. Does she get extra points for deliberately disabling the safety feature that could have helped prevent the accident? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DA Baracus Posted June 25, 2015 Share Posted June 25, 2015 It's a petrol mower so can't even get her to run over the electric cable and fry herself. Before anybody points out that petrol mowers have a safety feature where if you release the handle they switch off, to compound her idiocy she had used a cable tie to hold this release bar in place so that she could let go of the handle without the mower switching off. Does she get extra points for deliberately disabling the safety feature that could have helped prevent the accident? Come on! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JamieT1314 Posted June 25, 2015 Share Posted June 25, 2015 She deserves to lose at least two fingers for that i reckon. Get the mower fired up and do your duty. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gaz Posted June 25, 2015 Author Share Posted June 25, 2015 Bloody hell My wife's off-her-trolley daft sometimes but at least I don't have to worry about her winning a Darwin Award. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tamdunk Posted June 25, 2015 Share Posted June 25, 2015 I admire her commitment to getting out of cutting the grass. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gaz FFC Posted June 25, 2015 Share Posted June 25, 2015 I like the way this thread has descended into my wife is the thickest. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DA Baracus Posted June 25, 2015 Share Posted June 25, 2015 MeadowXI, just get the garden concreted. It'll be best for all concerned. Maybe get some safety plugs and a toddler gate for the stairs. Keep the bleach and other cleaning products on a high shelf. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
D.A.F.C Posted June 25, 2015 Share Posted June 25, 2015 It's a petrol mower so can't even get her to run over the electric cable and fry herself. Before anybody points out that petrol mowers have a safety feature where if you release the handle they switch off, to compound her idiocy she had used a cable tie to hold this release bar in place so that she could let go of the handle without the mower switching off. Does she get extra points for deliberately disabling the safety feature that could have helped prevent the accident? Shouldn't be let out the house, never mind using sharp objects. No offence but that's one of the most idiotic things I've ever heard of. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
throbber Posted June 25, 2015 Share Posted June 25, 2015 I have mentioned quite a lot about how annoying it is that my gf puts everything off at the wall which constantly irritates me, always have to put the appliances on in the kitchen etc and she also doesn't let me charge my macbook when I'm not in the room which gets very frustrating Since i have started work and getting up early i like to keep my charger by the side of the bed, when i go to bed i put it in charge and use it as an alarm clock and its nice and simple, so instead of just leaving it there by the side of the bed she removes it and puts it else where to tidy up despite it being pretty much behind the bed and out of sight. She doesn't always put it in the same place as well but quite often its stuffed away with other wires and they are tangled up which also gets very annoying Also we had a washing basket spilling full of clothes and it needed to go on but none of use have time, the basket when about 90% full will fill a load in the washing machine but this time it was spilling right over so maybe about 120% full so all of it wouldn't fit in one load, i had been meaning to put it on but forgot about it then the next time i had checked it there was marginally less washing there, not spilling over but not enough emptied for a load in the wash so i asked her what was going on and she said she had put a load on. Eventually it was me who had to hang it out and there wasnt even enough to half fill the clothes horse and too much left still in the basket for a full load so now after putting the second load on there are still a few things at the bottom of the basket that couldn't fit. i know this story is very boring to some but I'm sure some people can relate Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
19QOS19 Posted June 25, 2015 Share Posted June 25, 2015 Anybody else's missus take all the shite of the day from relatives or friends? If mine is offered something she always takes it for some reason. Well to be fair, the reason is because she is too kind to say she doesn't want folks old shite and would feel rude. The worst ones were an absolutely rotten canvas from her dad's mate. I don't for a second believe she ever thought there would be a place for it on our walls. Truly awful. I eventually convinced her to chuck it. I've not had the same luck with the fucking tumble dryer that's been in our cupboard for 3 and a half years; never once been used. She took it from her mum's pal and to this day I have no idea why. We don't have the room in the kitchen for it, which I said from the beginning but got nothing but abuse. Once she realised it wouldn't fit in our small kitchen she ended up putting it in our only decent sized cupboard! An abomination of a thing and I think I'll just get my mate to come and lift it soon as I doubt she'd even notice it was gone! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gaz FFC Posted June 25, 2015 Share Posted June 25, 2015 My wife doesn't go to work to make money. My wife goes to work to spend all ours. Between her train pass, her pub lunch and her quick drinks after work she's spending £350 a month she wouldn't spend if she didn't work there or didn't work Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sweet Pete Posted June 25, 2015 Share Posted June 25, 2015 Sounds like your bird's a fucking jake Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Adam Posted June 25, 2015 Share Posted June 25, 2015 My wife doesn't go to work to make money. My wife goes to work to spend all ours. Between her train pass, her pub lunch and her quick drinks after work she's spending £350 a month she wouldn't spend if she didn't work there or didn't work Jesus wept. That's mental stuff. You should be getting her telt, and pronto. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zen Archer (Raconteur) Posted June 25, 2015 Share Posted June 25, 2015 Does this mean I'm going to lose a drinking buddy? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gav-ffc Posted June 25, 2015 Share Posted June 25, 2015 Update from the sock situation from earlier. Left the house at 6:50AMand home at 10PM. SOCK IS STILL ON THE FLOOR. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cardinal Richelieu Posted June 25, 2015 Share Posted June 25, 2015 Pics please Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bob the tank Posted June 25, 2015 Share Posted June 25, 2015 "Doing the washing" Ye mean pressing a button, hardly dragging it down to the river and rubbing it on the rocks. I get that one a lot. " I've just done the washing and hung it up, and now I'm going to sort another load." Your not working in a steelworks or cutting coal ffs Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Boo Khaki Posted June 26, 2015 Share Posted June 26, 2015 Update from the sock situation from earlier. Left the house at 6:50AMand home at 10PM. SOCK IS STILL ON THE FLOOR. Get that slovenly cow telt ffs! If it doesn't cease, stop flushing every time you drop your guts after a night on the beer. That should get your point across quite succinctly. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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