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Whilst out for a run a while back (wearing a DAFC training top) I was accosted and asked "Are you Shandon Par?". I was in Shandon and wearing a Pars top but still not a bad guess by the Raith fan.

I have recently spotted a man wearing that Rovers commemorative green stripy strip (I expect he was shoplifting) and a very sweaty St Johnstone fan who looked like he'd just run back from Albania in my local Margiotta store.

Have you spotted any potential P&B ers in compromising situations?

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I had the misfortune of sharing a seat at a table on a train back from Pitlochry with two fucking braying arseholes that were looking at the forum on their phones.

Admittedly, I was on my way back from a Christmas night out and was absolutely hanging. They may in reality have been sound c***s, but I'd happily have killed the pair of them.

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I sometimes go to the St Johnstone games just to sit behind SaintSam and sniff her hair. She uses coconut shampoo.

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