John Lambies Doos Posted August 30, 2017 Share Posted August 30, 2017 3 strips of black road ninjas are enjoying a pint at the bar when a piece of red road swaggers in. On seeing him the black roads head immediately for the exit. What's the hurry asks the barman? One piece of black road replys. 'Mate we may be hard, but that c***s a cyclepath' 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fide Posted August 31, 2017 Share Posted August 31, 2017 7 hours ago, John Lambies Doos said: 3 strips of black road ninjas are enjoying a pint at the bar when a piece of red road swaggers in. On seeing him the black roads head immediately for the exit. What's the hurry asks the barman? One piece of black road replys. 'Mate we may be hard, but that c***s a cyclepath' Guy walks into a pub and the fruit machine starts swearing at him and telling him he looks like shite. A small dish of peanuts on the bar then starts commenting on how nice the guy's hair is and how well he's dressed. "The f**k's going on here?" he asks the barman. "Oh, the fruit machine is out of order and the peanuts are complimentary". 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LincolnHearts Posted August 31, 2017 Share Posted August 31, 2017 Odds on that anyone who was there back in 2011 will have forgotten all about it. -2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jagfox Posted August 31, 2017 Share Posted August 31, 2017 Happy Purple Dildo Day folks 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GordonD Posted August 31, 2017 Share Posted August 31, 2017 13 hours ago, John Lambies Doos said: 3 strips of black road ninjas are enjoying a pint at the bar when a piece of red road swaggers in. On seeing him the black roads head immediately for the exit. What's the hurry asks the barman? One piece of black road replys. 'Mate we may be hard, but that c***s a cyclepath' Two Maltesers sitting in a pub when in walks a Dolly Mixture and two Tunes. One Malteser whispers to his mate, "Keep your head down and don't make eye contact. The Dolly Mixture is a softie but the other two are menthol." 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jagfox Posted August 31, 2017 Share Posted August 31, 2017 Three shites on the pavement. Which one's The Musketeer? The Dark Tan Yin... 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GordonD Posted August 31, 2017 Share Posted August 31, 2017 48 minutes ago, jagfox99 said: Three shites on the pavement. Which one's The Musketeer? The Dark Tan Yin... The clean version of that joke is about shoe polish... 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
John Lambies Doos Posted August 31, 2017 Share Posted August 31, 2017 What you call a guy with a one inch dick? Justin 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Granny Danger Posted August 31, 2017 Share Posted August 31, 2017 Just now, John Lambies Doos said: What you call a guy with a one inch dick? Throbber. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
John Lambies Doos Posted August 31, 2017 Share Posted August 31, 2017 I was actually referencing it pre errection 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fide Posted September 1, 2017 Share Posted September 1, 2017 Two cows in a field. One says "moo" Other one says "I was just going to say that" 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brother Blades Posted September 1, 2017 Share Posted September 1, 2017 The people in Dubai don't like the Flintstones, but strangely,Abu Dhabi do. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
alta-pete Posted September 1, 2017 Share Posted September 1, 2017 The people in Dubai don't like the Flintstones, but strangely,Abu Dhabi do. No, No, no....Despite being adjacent to one another, there's a fundamental difference to the acceptance of Western culture in Dubai and Abu Dhabi. Take the imported US television programmes for example, say, The Flintstones. It seems the people in Dubai don't get it, but the people in Abu Dhabi do. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brother Blades Posted September 1, 2017 Share Posted September 1, 2017 No, No, no....Despite being adjacent to one another, there's a fundamental difference to the acceptance of Western culture in Dubai and Abu Dhabi. Take the imported US television programmes for example, say, The Flintstones. It seems the people in Dubai don't get it, but the people in Abu Dhabi do. Aye, I could have typed all that out but I'm hungover. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nsr Posted September 1, 2017 Share Posted September 1, 2017 You could have just waited and copy-pasted his. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brother Blades Posted September 1, 2017 Share Posted September 1, 2017 Linford Christie walks into a pub in Alabama, orders a pint of lager, racist landlord replies that he doesn't serve black people, but there is a pub 10 minutes down the road that serve his kind....Linford is disgusted and has an outburst "don't you know who I am, I'm Linford Christie, former Olympic 100m champion""Ok, 5 minutes down the road then." 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brother Blades Posted September 1, 2017 Share Posted September 1, 2017 Mike Tyson is down on his luck & starts charging $100 for a handshake & photo opportunity.Englishman walks in, Tyson says, "I'm Mike Tyson, I used to be worth $100m , heavyweight champion of the world & I only f**k white women" English chap nods in agreement, gets his picture taken & leaves.Scotsman is subjected to the same tirade, gets his picture taken & leaves.The Irishman walks in & again is subjected to the same egotistical speech.Hours later, the irish mans friends find him lying on the sidewalk, thrown out of Mikes suite the hard way, 5 stories up, they ask, what was different from your meeting?Paddy answers, "when he said I only f**k white women, I agreed and said if I had $100m, I wouldn't f**k n****ers either" 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cerberus Posted September 5, 2017 Share Posted September 5, 2017 How much did the pirate pay to get his ears pierced?Buccaneer. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AL-FFC Posted September 5, 2017 Share Posted September 5, 2017 I went for a job as a blacksmith the other day the interviewer said to me have you ever shoe'd a horse, i replied no but i told a donkey to f**k off once 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AL-FFC Posted September 5, 2017 Share Posted September 5, 2017 Paddy and Mick are doing a crossword paddy says to mick "how do you spell orange" paddy answers ' which one the colour or the fruit" 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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