Fide Posted September 6, 2017 Share Posted September 6, 2017 Hmm. Something tells me those jokes were lifted from Sickipedia. Call it a hunch. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AL-FFC Posted September 6, 2017 Share Posted September 6, 2017 People said I would never get over my obsession with Phil Collins songs Well take a look at me now 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
whiskychimp Posted September 6, 2017 Share Posted September 6, 2017 Did you hear about the new corduroy pillows? They're making headlines everywhere 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GordonD Posted September 6, 2017 Share Posted September 6, 2017 What goes wiff-wiff-wiff-wiff...............................wiff-wiff-wiff-wiff...............................wiff-wiff-wiff-wiff...............................wiff-wiff-wiff-wiff...............................? A hurdler wearing corduroy shorts 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fide Posted September 7, 2017 Share Posted September 7, 2017 Whats better than winning gold in the Paralympic 100m wheelchair race? Walking. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SlipperyP Posted September 7, 2017 Share Posted September 7, 2017 What's worse than finding a worm in an apple you're eating?Anal rape! 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fide Posted September 7, 2017 Share Posted September 7, 2017 What do 9 out of 10 people enjoy? Gang rape. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jagfox Posted September 7, 2017 Share Posted September 7, 2017 4 hours ago, Fide said: Whats better than winning gold in the Paralympic 100m wheelchair race? Walking. What's the opposite of Christopher Reeve? Spoiler Christopher Walken 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fide Posted September 7, 2017 Share Posted September 7, 2017 3 minutes ago, jagfox99 said: What's the opposite of Christopher Reeve? Hide contents Christopher Walken What goes "Ow................................ow..................................ow......................................ow...................................ow?" Christopher Reeve doing the hurdles. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jagfox Posted September 7, 2017 Share Posted September 7, 2017 2 minutes ago, Fide said: What goes "Ow................................ow..................................ow......................................ow...................................ow?" Christopher Reeve doing the hurdles. Shame the 'Superman putting on his Cape' one doesn't really work on here... 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fide Posted September 7, 2017 Share Posted September 7, 2017 4 minutes ago, jagfox99 said: Shame the 'Superman putting on his Cape' one doesn't really work on here... I know the exact one. The epileptic fit one doesn't work on here either. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Mantis Posted September 7, 2017 Share Posted September 7, 2017 Neither does the 'Irishman tying his shoelaces" one. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fide Posted September 7, 2017 Share Posted September 7, 2017 Guy walks into a pet shop and asks the owner if he has any weird or unusual animals. The pet shop owner says "Well, we have a Colombian Cock Sucking Frog in stock" "Wow" the guy says "and what does that do?" The pet shop owner goes through the back and comes back with a box. He opens the box and out pops a frog. "Get your cock out" says the pet shop owner. A bit nervously, the guy whaps out his tadger, The frog hops over and starts sucking his cock. "I'll take it" says the guy. So off he goes home, sits the box down and tells his wife what he bought. "That's all very well" she says "but what do you want me to do about it?" The guy says "Teach it to cook, and f**k off". #lad #misogyny #baller 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cardinal Richelieu Posted September 9, 2017 Share Posted September 9, 2017 The inventor of the USB stick has just died. Thanks for the memory. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
John Lambies Doos Posted September 9, 2017 Share Posted September 9, 2017 I received this best present ever! A broken drumYou can't beat it. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ICTJohnboy Posted September 9, 2017 Share Posted September 9, 2017 A guy walks into a bar and orders a triple scotch. The bartender pours him the drink and the guy downs it in one gulp. "Wow", says the bartender, "Something bad must have happened". Yeah it did, he said. "I came home early today, went up to the bedroom, and found my wife having sex with my best friend." The bartender pours the guy another triple shot. "This one's on the house". The dude gulps it down once again. The bartender asks "Did you say anything to your wife ? " The guy answers "Yea, I walked up to her, told her to pack her bag's and get out !" "What about your friend ?" asks the bartender. "I looked him straight in the eye and said BAD DOG" 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
buchan30 Posted September 9, 2017 Share Posted September 9, 2017 What do you call a man with no arms and no legs that can play the piano?Clever dick 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cerberus Posted September 9, 2017 Share Posted September 9, 2017 What do you call an American bee? A USB. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
whiskychimp Posted September 9, 2017 Share Posted September 9, 2017 55 minutes ago, Cerberus said: What do you call an American bee? A USB. I greenied that. Only because I'm on my 3rd bottle of rough wine 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
D'Jaffo Posted September 9, 2017 Share Posted September 9, 2017 Paddy's wife goes to the doctor, she explains that after 16 years of marriage to Paddy she's still never had an orgasm. The Doctor tells her to go home and by a fan this will keep them cool while having sex and may help her to orgasm.Paddy's wife explains to Paddy what the Doctor had told her, Paddy says he will try this method but he his too tight to go buy a fan so decides to get Mick his best friend to wave a towel over the bed while they love.That night Paddy and his wife make love for two hours but still no orgasm, Paddy's wife suggests that Paddy and Mick swap roles to see if that might help.Paddy picks up towel and Mick makes love to paddy's wife and after two minutes Paddy's wife as the most mind blowing orgasm. Paddy turns to Mick and says, "Now my son thats how you waft a fucking towel" 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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