19QOS19 Posted August 19, 2019 Share Posted August 19, 2019 This guy's house had caught fire and he found himself trapped at an upstairs window. He started to shout for help, and eventually some of his neighbours appeared with a blanket which they held outstretched and shouted at him to jump. Unfortunately the guy had never got on that well with his neighbours and didn't really trust them. "I know what you guys are like" he said. "You'll take the blanket away as soon as I jump" "Don't be stupid" shouted the neighbours, "Jump, before it's too late" "Okay", says the guy, "But put the blanket on the ground first, then I'll jump"And still the abuse of Grimbo continues. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Forest_Fifer Posted August 19, 2019 Share Posted August 19, 2019 A farmer asked me to help him round up 18 cows. Ok I said, 20 cows.Yeah I read the rest of the nominated jokes too... 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nkomo-A-Gogo Posted August 19, 2019 Share Posted August 19, 2019 1 minute ago, Forest_Fifer said: 46 minutes ago, Nkomo-A-Gogo said: A farmer asked me to help him round up 18 cows. Ok I said, 20 cows. Yeah I read the rest of the nominated jokes too... That was my favourite out the bunch. The rest were weak. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kennysmassiveego Posted August 20, 2019 Share Posted August 20, 2019 Bloke from Barnsley with piles asks a chemist “ Nah then lad , does tha sell arse cream ?” Chemist replies “Aye , magnum or Cornetto ? “ 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GordonD Posted August 20, 2019 Share Posted August 20, 2019 13 hours ago, The DA said: Any idea what you ARE allowed to joke about these days? https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-49395718 13 hours ago, alta-pete said: f**k OFF!! YOUR DOG’S GOT TITS!! ... is what the charity spokesman said. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
staggy1929 Posted August 20, 2019 Share Posted August 20, 2019 I can guarantee that female comedian that's complaining about Olaf's joke is the absolute epitome of unfunny. Imagine being an actual 'comedian' and being offended by such a tame joke. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GordonD Posted August 20, 2019 Share Posted August 20, 2019 5 minutes ago, staggy1929 said: I can guarantee that female comedian that's complaining about Olaf's joke is the absolute epitome of unfunny. Imagine being an actual 'comedian' and being offended by such a tame joke. I'm curious to find out what kind of jokes she tells. No doubt somebody somewhere could take offence - if they were extremely petty. It reminds me of Isaac Hayes when he provided the voice of Chef on South Park - he was quite happy to rip the piss out of various religions, until they got round to Scientology and he resigned from the show. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
staggy1929 Posted August 20, 2019 Share Posted August 20, 2019 8 minutes ago, GordonD said: I'm curious to find out what kind of jokes she tells. No doubt somebody somewhere could take offence - if they were extremely petty. It reminds me of Isaac Hayes when he provided the voice of Chef on South Park - he was quite happy to rip the piss out of various religions, until they got round to Scientology and he resigned from the show. Those in glass houses shouldn't throw stones springs to mind... 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Melanius Mullarkey Posted August 20, 2019 Share Posted August 20, 2019 Not sure what’s funny about commenting that a dog has tits. Dogs have tits. Quite a lot of tits the last time I looked. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kennysmassiveego Posted August 20, 2019 Share Posted August 20, 2019 28 minutes ago, Melanius Mullarkey said: Not sure what’s funny about commenting that a dog has tits. Dogs have tits. Quite a lot of tits the last time I looked. It was a famous Tourette’s tic by John Davidson on the bbc documentary about him , catch it on You Tube it’s as funny as ... 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mark Connolly Posted August 20, 2019 Share Posted August 20, 2019 57 minutes ago, staggy1929 said: I can guarantee that female comedian that's complaining about Olaf's joke is the absolute epitome of unfunny. Imagine being an actual 'comedian' and being offended by such a tame joke. There are some brilliant replies on the original tweet from Dave, including an argument between someone who has Tourette's and finds the joke funny, and someone who does have not have Tourette's who is telling them they should be offended. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
deej Posted August 20, 2019 Share Posted August 20, 2019 36 minutes ago, Melanius Mullarkey said: Not sure what’s funny about commenting that a dog has tits. Dogs have tits. Quite a lot of tits the last time I looked. ^Up to his knees in fucking cow pat 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LeeVanTeeth Posted August 20, 2019 Share Posted August 20, 2019 27 minutes ago, Mark Connolly said: There are some brilliant replies on the original tweet from Dave, including an argument between someone who has Tourette's and finds the joke funny, and someone who does have not have Tourette's who is telling them they should be offended. Just to be on the safe side I'm offended anyway. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mark Connolly Posted August 20, 2019 Share Posted August 20, 2019 Just now, LeeVanTeeth said: Just to be on the safe side I'm offended anyway. I'm offended that you are offended 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
philpy Posted August 20, 2019 Share Posted August 20, 2019 ARTHUR DALEY 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
topcat(The most tip top) Posted August 20, 2019 Share Posted August 20, 2019 A Tourette’s society criticising other people for saying offensive things out loud in public is a bit rich 7 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nsr Posted August 20, 2019 Share Posted August 20, 2019 WE'RE GUNNA CRASH. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
philpy Posted August 20, 2019 Share Posted August 20, 2019 f**k OFF NOSEY 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kennysmassiveego Posted August 20, 2019 Share Posted August 20, 2019 Taylor Swift has 200 songs about guys leaving her and 0 songs about blow jobs ! see where I’m going with this ? 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kennysmassiveego Posted August 20, 2019 Share Posted August 20, 2019 Having a smoke outside the pub last night and some dude in a wheelchair said “ why do you smoke when you don’t have to? “ I looked at him and asked “ why the f*ck are you wearing shoes ? “ 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.