Robin.Hood Posted June 25, 2019 Share Posted June 25, 2019 I just bought a new Japanese car. I turned on the radio. I didn't understand a word they were saying. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bishop Briggs Posted June 25, 2019 Share Posted June 25, 2019 5 hours ago, G_Man1985 said: I just bought a new Japanese car. I turned on the radio. I didn't understand a word they were saying. Probably because it's a Chinese radio. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bishop Briggs Posted June 26, 2019 Share Posted June 26, 2019 11 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bold Rover Posted June 26, 2019 Share Posted June 26, 2019 3 hours ago, Bishop Briggs said: Funny the first time. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BillyAnchor Posted June 27, 2019 Share Posted June 27, 2019 On 22/06/2019 at 17:39, GordonD said: Snail sitting on a tortoise's back: "WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!" How did it get up there on it? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GordonD Posted June 27, 2019 Share Posted June 27, 2019 6 hours ago, BillyAnchor said: How did it get up there on it? Sat on a tortoise egg and waited till it hatched. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bishop Briggs Posted June 27, 2019 Share Posted June 27, 2019 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IainMorton Posted July 1, 2019 Share Posted July 1, 2019 My friend asked me to stop singing Oasis songs all day. I said maybe. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kennysmassiveego Posted July 1, 2019 Share Posted July 1, 2019 The phone rings and the wife answers A pervert breathing heavily says “ I bet you have a tight arse with no hair?” The wife replies “ yes I do , he’s watching TV .. who should I say is calling ?”’ 8 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Melanius Mullarkey Posted July 1, 2019 Share Posted July 1, 2019 I've accidentally swallowed some lipstick and mascara and now I'm constipated... You can't shit this make up. 6 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IainMorton Posted July 2, 2019 Share Posted July 2, 2019 For our silver wedding I got a huge map and a dart, and told my wife wherever the dart lands - that’s where we are going for our anniversary. I’m pleased to announce that we will be spending the first two weeks in August in the skirting board. 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tamthebam Posted July 2, 2019 Share Posted July 2, 2019 My friend drowned in a bowl of muesli. A strong currant pulled him in.... 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
buchan30 Posted July 3, 2019 Share Posted July 3, 2019 My friend drowned in a bowl of muesli. A strong currant pulled him in....My grandfather drowned in a bowl of cheerios. Sadly and ironically we never got the chance to say goodbye. 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
buchan30 Posted July 3, 2019 Share Posted July 3, 2019 Got pulled over by a woman police officer. I asked her what's wrong,she screamed "NOTHING" Then stormed off 8 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BillyAnchor Posted July 3, 2019 Share Posted July 3, 2019 10 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IainMorton Posted July 3, 2019 Share Posted July 3, 2019 Went to an underwater disco last night, ended up pulling a muscle. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BillyAnchor Posted July 3, 2019 Share Posted July 3, 2019 7 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GordonD Posted July 3, 2019 Share Posted July 3, 2019 Friend of mine drowned in a vat of molten bubbly chocolate. His girlfriend kept shouting, "Billy, don't be an Aero!" 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LincolnHearts Posted July 3, 2019 Share Posted July 3, 2019 The Police have Identified the Body of the Man who fell out of the Plane over Clapham. His Name is Amin Yaflowerbed. Shocked friends have described him as "A sound bloke, very down to earth" 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bishop Briggs Posted July 3, 2019 Share Posted July 3, 2019 16 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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