ICTJohnboy Posted August 13, 2017 Share Posted August 13, 2017 Q : What do you call a barmaid who can play pool and balance a pint of beer on her head at the same time? A : Beertricks Potter 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jagfox Posted August 14, 2017 Share Posted August 14, 2017 THE DIFFERENCE IF YOU MARRY A SCOTTISH GIRL Three friends married women from different parts of the world..... The first man married a Greek girl. He told her that she was to do the dishes and house cleaning. It took a couple of days, but on the third day he came home to see a clean house and dishes washed and put away.... . The second man married a Thai girl. He gave his wife orders that she was to do all the cleaning, dishes and the cooking. The first day he didn't see any results but the next day he saw it was better. By the third day he saw his house was clean, the dishes were done, and there was a huge dinner on the table.... . The third man married a girl from Scotland . He ordered her to keep the house cleaned, dishes washed, lawn mowed, laundry washed, and hot meals on the table for every meal. The first day he didn't see anything, the second day he didn't see anything either but by the third day, some of the swelling had gone down and he could see a little out of his left eye and his arm was healed enough that he could fix himself a sandwich and load the dishwasher. He still has some difficulty when he urinates..... 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
John Lambies Doos Posted August 14, 2017 Share Posted August 14, 2017 Old Firm fan was she? The answer to that is beyond all reasonable doubt 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fide Posted August 15, 2017 Share Posted August 15, 2017 13 hours ago, G_Man1985 said: Milk is also the fastest liquid on earth. It's pasteurized before you even see it. What's the fastest cake in the world? Scone. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fide Posted August 15, 2017 Share Posted August 15, 2017 What cheese do you use to lure a bear down from a tree? Camembert. What cheese do you use to hide a horse? Mascarpone. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fide Posted August 15, 2017 Share Posted August 15, 2017 Whats the most common form of owl? A teatowel. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HI HAT Posted August 15, 2017 Share Posted August 15, 2017 THE DIFFERENCE IF YOU MARRY A SCOTTISH GIRL Three friends married women from different parts of the world..... The first man married a Greek girl. He told her that she was to do the dishes and house cleaning. It took a couple of days, but on the third day he came home to see a clean house and dishes washed and put away.... . The second man married a Thai girl. He gave his wife orders that she was to do all the cleaning, dishes and the cooking. The first day he didn't see any results but the next day he saw it was better. By the third day he saw his house was clean, the dishes were done, and there was a huge dinner on the table.... . The third man married a girl from Scotland . He ordered her to keep the house cleaned, dishes washed, lawn mowed, laundry washed, and hot meals on the table for every meal. The first day he didn't see anything, the second day he didn't see anything either but by the third day, some of the swelling had gone down and he could see a little out of his left eye and his arm was healed enough that he could fix himself a sandwich and load the dishwasher. He still has some difficulty when he urinates..... 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sergeant Wilson Posted August 15, 2017 Share Posted August 15, 2017 2 hours ago, HI HAT said: Heard it. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
welshbairn Posted August 15, 2017 Share Posted August 15, 2017 5 minutes ago, Sergeant Wilson said: Heard it. It's the way he tells it. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HI HAT Posted August 15, 2017 Share Posted August 15, 2017 Sorry folks , farting about with new phone, didn't mean to put it on again, might even get to grips with how the functions work. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sergeant Wilson Posted August 15, 2017 Share Posted August 15, 2017 Just now, HI HAT said: Sorry folks , farting about with new phone, didn't mean to put it on again, might even get to grips with how the functions work. Take it out the box. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dr Koop Posted August 15, 2017 Share Posted August 15, 2017 (edited) On 8/10/2017 at 13:07, jagfox99 said: Reminds me of the Irish kamikaze pilot who got fired after his 21st unsuccessful mission... I hate to rain on your parade, Foxy. ETA: Absolute pisser, eh? http://www.minotdailynews.com/news/local-news/2017/08/a-sailor-from-rolla-and-kamikazes-from-japan-1945/ Edited August 15, 2017 by Dr Koop Banzaii! 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kennysmassiveego Posted August 16, 2017 Share Posted August 16, 2017 Just switched from eating pheasant to venison absolute game changer 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jagfox Posted August 16, 2017 Share Posted August 16, 2017 25 minutes ago, kennysmassiveego said: Just switched from eating pheasant to venison absolute game changer I found venison a little deer... 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cardinal Richelieu Posted August 16, 2017 Share Posted August 16, 2017 7 minutes ago, jagfox99 said: I found venison a little deer... Depends where they're cervine it. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kennysmassiveego Posted August 16, 2017 Share Posted August 16, 2017 It all starts so innocently ...mixing chocolate and Rice Krispies. But before you know it they're adding raisins and marsh mallows , it's a rocky road 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
philpy Posted August 16, 2017 Share Posted August 16, 2017 See those black people that sing in churches in America??I wouldn't take it as gospel. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dr Koop Posted August 16, 2017 Share Posted August 16, 2017 On 8/15/2017 at 21:51, McQuade said: Don't get that one tbh Alternative comedy. For the younger, edgy-er crowd. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kennysmassiveego Posted August 16, 2017 Share Posted August 16, 2017 I was given some sudoku toilet paper . It didn't work . I could only fill in the number 1's and 2's 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jagfox Posted August 17, 2017 Share Posted August 17, 2017 Did you hear about the constipated ajgebraist? He had to work things out with a pencil and a protractor... 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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