Infuriating Things Your Partner Does

[ScottR96]

She took me out for dinner tonight which was nice so I was in a cheerful mood which is unusual for this stage of the week. On the bus home I asked if she could check the Clyde score for me because my phone had died. "Yeah, give me a minute". 10 minutes passes and she's still going through every Snapchat story on her phone. Easily about 50 of them. She never usually does this of course, as she'll normally pick and choose but she was absolutely determined I wasn't finding out the score for some reason. Possibly because I mentioned I wish I was going to the game earlier in the evening. I then spotted she was on Google about to search something else, so I asked her again if she could check the score. "Yeah, I said give me a minute. I'm doing something!". Then she started looking at holidays and giving it "Ohhh, that's a good deal eh?" patter. This went on for another 10 minutes by which point I was absolutely raging. A 5 second search would've yielded what I was looking for but couldn't help but feel she was purposefully avoiding doing it to piss me off. She eventually did it though and to my delight we were winning 2-1 so all was forgotten. I think I'd have fucked her phone out onto the motorway if we were getting pumped at that point.

[Cerberus]

8 minutes ago, ScottR96 said:

She took me out for dinner tonight which was nice so I was in a cheerful mood which is unusual for this stage of the week. On the bus home I asked if she could check the Clyde score for me because my phone had died. "Yeah, give me a minute". 10 minutes passes and she's still going through every Snapchat story on her phone. Easily about 50 of them. She never usually does this of course, as she'll normally pick and choose but she was absolutely determined I wasn't finding out the score for some reason. Possibly because I mentioned I wish I was going to the game earlier in the evening. I then spotted she was on Google about to search something else, so I asked her again if she could check the score. "Yeah, I said give me a minute. I'm doing something!". Then she started looking at holidays and giving it "Ohhh, that's a good deal eh?" patter. This went on for another 10 minutes by which point I was absolutely raging. A 5 second search would've yielded what I was looking for but couldn't help but feel she was purposefully avoiding doing it to piss me off. She eventually did it though and to my delight we were winning 2-1 so all was forgotten. I think I'd have fucked her phone out onto the motorway if we were getting pumped at that point.

Dump the sadistic cow.

[whiskychimp]

I asked for some toast with butter and honey this morning. I walked into the kitchen to see her mushing the butter and honey into the toast with the back of a spoon. I ended up getting a paste with the consistency of  curdled milk 

I also caught her fixing her fake eyelashes with my toothbrush. Not even her toothbrush..... mine!!!!!!!

[Gaz FFC]

23 minutes ago, whiskychimp said:

I asked for some toast with butter and honey this morning. I walked into the kitchen to see her mushing the butter and honey into the toast with the back of a spoon. I ended up getting a paste with the consistency of  curdled milk 

I also caught her fixing her fake eyelashes with my toothbrush. Not even her toothbrush..... mine!!!!!!!

[DA Baracus]

3 hours ago, whiskychimp said:

I asked for some toast with butter and honey this morning. I walked into the kitchen to see her mushing the butter and honey into the toast with the back of a spoon. I ended up getting a paste with the consistency of  curdled milk 

I also caught her fixing her fake eyelashes with my toothbrush. Not even her toothbrush..... mine!!!!!!!

Dump her

body after you've murdered her

[Sweet Pete]

Toast with butter and honey? Get in the fucking sea you deviant c**t.

[Bert Raccoon]

6 hours ago, whiskychimp said:

I asked for some toast with butter and honey this morning. I walked into the kitchen to see her mushing the butter and honey into the toast with the back of a spoon. I ended up getting a paste with the consistency of  curdled milk 

I also caught her fixing her fake eyelashes with my toothbrush. Not even her toothbrush..... mine!!!!!!!

Mashy Honey Spoon Spoon?

[Mark Connolly]

8 minutes ago, Melanius Mullarkey said:

 

The fucks wrong with that?

While I wouldn't go as far as Pete, why butter AND honey rather than one or the other?

ETA: unless it was two slices, one with honey and one with butter.

Edited July 19, 2017 by Mark Connolly

[KnightswoodBear]

8 minutes ago, Melanius Mullarkey said:

 

The fucks wrong with that?

 

Nothing.  If you're a child. 

[whiskychimp]

7 minutes ago, Mark Connolly said:

While I wouldn't go as far as Pete, why butter AND honey rather than one or the other?

ETA: unless it was two slices, one with honey and one with butter.

The butter prevents the honey from permeating the toast, keeping the crunch.

1 hour ago, Sweet Pete said:

Toast with butter and honey? Get in the fucking sea you deviant c**t.

 

Im a sweet, sweet toasty buttery honey deviant

[whiskychimp]

1 minute ago, Melanius Mullarkey said:

You stink of poo.

Anyway, putting anything on toast without a layer of butter first is OFTW behaviour.

Even peanut butter requires a layer of butter first.

Knows the score

[DA Baracus]

48 minutes ago, Melanius Mullarkey said:

You stink of poo.

Anyway, putting anything on toast without a layer of butter first is OFTW behaviour.

Even peanut butter requires a layer of butter first.

I'm going to have support Melanius here. He is correct in his toast protocol. A layer of butter (in my case spread, usually Tesco's own olive spread at home, although if I'm having breakfast somewhere then butter is more than sufficient) before a topping, or simply the spread on it's own. I too have had the honey/spread toast combination in the past and enjoyed it.

I haven't had toast in ages though.

I now want some toast.

Edited July 19, 2017 by DA Baracus

[welshbairn]

1 minute ago, DA Baracus said:

I'm going to have support Melanius here. He is correct in his toast protocol. A layer of butter (in my case spread, usually Tesco's own olive spread) before a topping, or simply the spread on it's own. I too have had to honey/spread toast combination in the past and enjoyed it.

I haven't had toast in ages though.

I now want some toast.

Remember to leave it to chill till morning. @Rugster

[whiskychimp]

Here was the conversation later

[Shandon Par]

I'm with Swete Pete here. I'd sooner put my cock in the toaster than resort to butter and peanut butter/honey or whatever.

Saying that, I do like a nice bit of baguette with butter and jam. 

[Mark Connolly]

7 minutes ago, Melanius Mullarkey said:

You stink of poo.

Anyway, putting anything on toast without a layer of butter first is OFTW behaviour.

Even peanut butter requires a layer of butter first.

"Infuriating things people on P&B do" thread for this pish.

[DA Baracus]

4 minutes ago, welshbairn said:

Remember to leave it to chill till morning. @Rugster

Certainly not. I'm not some sort of foul deviant

[Boghead ranter]

8 minutes ago, whiskychimp said:

The butter prevents the honey from permeating the toast, keeping the crunch.

What if the butter melts into the toast?

[hellbhoy]

I'm totally OCD when it comes to making toast. It has to be brown all over to the crust with no whitish bits. I remove it to let it cool a little and then carefully place it in the grill in places I know will brown it to perfection. Then it sits in the toast rack to cool before an evenly spread film of butter is applied.

Mrs Hellbhoy is a cow when she steals the toast before it cools down and then has the cheek to say "you can make more can't you?". Aye, it only took 25 fucking minutes to perfect the toast I was totally drooling for.

[Dee Man]

1 minute ago, hellbhoy said:

I'm totally OCD when it comes to making toast. It has to be brown all over to the crust with no whitish bits. I remove it to let it cool a little and then carefully place it in the grill in places I know will brown it to perfection. Then it sits in the toast rack to cool before an evenly spread film of butter is applied.

Mrs Hellbhoy is a cow when she steals the toast before it cools down and then has the cheek to say "you can make more can't you?". Aye, it only took 25 fucking minutes to perfect the toast I was totally drooling for.

I hate your wife.