Cerberus Posted August 2, 2018 Share Posted August 2, 2018 I had my arse handed to me in a meeting with our board today.Literally it was a painful experience. I got ripped into so bad I was worried I might get the sack.I have been coasting for weeks but I was totally thrown under the bus by the wanks I work with so when I got home and was in a c**t of a mood.She then storms off to bed in a huff cause I’m to be cloying and I end up apologising to her.FML 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jacksgranda Posted August 2, 2018 Share Posted August 2, 2018 On 15/06/2018 at 19:12, Boghead ranter said: Just got a text from Mrs Ranter saying 2 will always be the answer to that question. Lately I've reduced our chip shop order from 2 fish suppers and 2 quarter pound cheeseburgers to 1 fish supper, a single fish and 2 quarter pound cheeseburgers as we found there are enough chips with the 1 fish supper to do us all. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Priti priti priti Patel Posted August 2, 2018 Share Posted August 2, 2018 8 minutes ago, Jacksgranda said: Lately I've reduced our chip shop order from 2 fish suppers and 2 quarter pound cheeseburgers to 1 fish supper, a single fish and 2 quarter pound cheeseburgers as we found there are enough chips with the 1 fish supper to do us all. This is the kind of post that brings me to P&B. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tommy Nooka Posted August 2, 2018 Share Posted August 2, 2018 On 6/7/2018 at 12:52, 11thHour said: If she goes to bed before me she always shoots upright in bed asking who the f**k I am when I get into bed. I'd be a little concerned by this tbh, she's clearly covering for the fact she can't remember which bloke she should be expecting. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joey Jo Jo Junior Shabadoo Posted August 2, 2018 Share Posted August 2, 2018 I had my arse handed to me in a meeting with our board today.Literally it was a painful experience. I got ripped into so bad I was worried I might get the sack.I have been coasting for weeks but I was totally thrown under the bus by the wanks I work withThis sounds like every episode of The Apprentice, ever. I’d bet the audience are flabbergasted that you managed to avoid getting fired as you’ve done f**k all for the last 4 episodes too. I presume your business plan is pretty good? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jacksgranda Posted August 2, 2018 Share Posted August 2, 2018 (edited) 50 minutes ago, Jacksgranda said: Lately I've reduced our chip shop order from 2 fish suppers and 2 quarter pound cheeseburgers to 1 fish supper, a single fish and 2 quarter pound cheeseburgers as we found there are enough chips with the 1 fish supper to do us all. 41 minutes ago, Margaret Thatcher said: This is the kind of post that brings me to P&B. And furthermore, if the younger grandchildren are here, they usually get enough out of Jacksgranny's fish plus a wheen of chips to do them, too. Edited August 2, 2018 by Jacksgranda sllepnig 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Estragon Posted August 2, 2018 Share Posted August 2, 2018 If anyone ever attempted to convince me to be ordering from the chippie on a lower basis than 1:1, I would inwardly die. I mean, obviously I'm too British and middle class to actually say anything - but I'd sit there absolutely fizzing until I had probable cause to give someone at work a row. 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
welshbairn Posted August 2, 2018 Share Posted August 2, 2018 I had my arse handed to me in a meeting with our board today.Literally it was a painful experience. I got ripped into so bad I was worried I might get the sack.I have been coasting for weeks but I was totally thrown under the bus by the wanks I work with so when I got home and was in a c**t of a mood.She then storms off to bed in a huff cause I’m to be cloying and I end up apologising to her.FMLPrepare to be dumped. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
19QOS19 Posted August 2, 2018 Share Posted August 2, 2018 Her: What do you want to order for tea? Me: Just whatever.Her: Well what do you want? Me: Whatever, I don't care, just tell me what shop and I'll decide what a want. Her: Just you pick then. Me: OK, just get pizza then. Her: Aaaw a don't really fancy pizza. Me: FFS! Well get a chinese then! Her: Where from then? Me: You decide. Her: No you can choose. Me: *Insert restaurant name* then. Her: Aaaw a don't really fancy it from there. Me: FFS just you pick then!! Her: Will we get it from *name*. Me: Whatever! Her: What do you want. Me: Whatever you choose, I'm not arsed. This happens on almost every occasion as I'm sure it does across the nation 10 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shotgun Posted August 2, 2018 Share Posted August 2, 2018 38 minutes ago, 19QOS19 said: This happens on almost every occasion as I'm sure it does across the nation Just dredged up a bad memory of a not-partner-but-office-mate. There were 3 of us cooped up in the same room, me, another lad and a wumman. Each Friday we got into the routine of going out for lunch. Every damn week we had the same conversation. Why don't you choose this time Lisa? Oh, I'm happy to go anywhere. Yes, you always say that but then you never like anywhere we suggest. No really, I'll be good wherever you choose. <Restaurant name?> Oh, god no. <Restaurant name?> Yeuch! <Restaurant name?> Ugh, that's terrible. You choose then. I'm fine anywhere. Obviously you aren't. I just don't like those places. Chinese? Nah Indian? No. Pizza? There's no decent pizza places near here. And on And on And on And on I used to tell our boss that I wanted it specifically called out on my performance review that I was an exemplary employee because I'd gone the whole year without bludgeoning her to death. 9 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ylf Posted August 2, 2018 Share Posted August 2, 2018 Comes in from her work and leaves everything at her arse. If she cooks the tea uses every pot dish etc then I get lumbered with dishes [emoji35][emoji35] 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
heedthebaa Posted August 2, 2018 Share Posted August 2, 2018 2 hours ago, 19QOS19 said: Her: What do you want to order for tea? Me: Just whatever. Her: Well what do you want? Me: Whatever, I don't care, just tell me what shop and I'll decide what a want. Her: Just you pick then. Me: OK, just get pizza then. Her: Aaaw a don't really fancy pizza. Me: FFS! Well get a chinese then! Her: Where from then? Me: You decide. Her: No you can choose. Me: *Insert restaurant name* then. Her: Aaaw a don't really fancy it from there. Me: FFS just you pick then!! Her: Will we get it from *name*. Me: Whatever! Her: What do you want. Me: Whatever you choose, I'm not arsed. This happens on almost every occasion as I'm sure it does across the nation Not tonight at mine it didn’t her: tea, what do you fancy ? me: kebab wrap and a meat feast pizza her: I want Chinese me: whatever 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cerberus Posted August 2, 2018 Share Posted August 2, 2018 Who puts a kebab in their cup of tea? 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mac.i Posted August 2, 2018 Share Posted August 2, 2018 Her: What do you want to order for tea? Me: Just whatever.Her: Well what do you want? Me: Whatever, I don't care, just tell me what shop and I'll decide what a want. Her: Just you pick then. Me: OK, just get pizza then. Her: Aaaw a don't really fancy pizza. Me: FFS! Well get a chinese then! Her: Where from then? Me: You decide. Her: No you can choose. Me: *Insert restaurant name* then. Her: Aaaw a don't really fancy it from there. Me: FFS just you pick then!! Her: Will we get it from *name*. Me: Whatever! Her: What do you want. Me: Whatever you choose, I'm not arsed. This happens on almost every occasion as I'm sure it does across the nation You missed out the inevitable "why can't you just make a decision?"........ WTF!!!!!!!!!!! 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mizfit Posted August 2, 2018 Share Posted August 2, 2018 Her: “can we go visit *insert random member of her family*? Me: “Maybe, lemme check if I’ve anything on” She then proceeds to arrange the weekend before I have a Chance to check.... 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
buchan30 Posted August 3, 2018 Share Posted August 3, 2018 Said she couldn’t find her little yellow notepad. Hadnt seen it for a few days.I asked - is it in your car?“Nope, definitely not in my car” Had a wee look for it the last few nights, couldn’t see it anywhere. She’s away to the bingo, i thought f**k it, i’ll have a wee look in the car and found said notebook.Also just while we are on the subject. Deciding she needs some item just as we are ready and heading out the door (usually later than planned because of her and the childrens dilly dallying) a trait that she has passed on to the children. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Melanius Mullarkey Posted August 3, 2018 Share Posted August 3, 2018 She went out earlier to meet a pal. Half an hour later she texts said pal hasn’t turned up. ”what should I do” she texts? Honest to fucking god. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Donathan Posted August 3, 2018 Share Posted August 3, 2018 3 minutes ago, Melanius Mullarkey said: She went out earlier to meet a pal. Half an hour later she texts said pal hasn’t turned up. ”what should I do” she texts? Honest to fucking god. Can she not just phone her fucking pal to see if she's just running late or actually not coming? If pal doesn't answer give it 10 minutes then leave. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Melanius Mullarkey Posted August 3, 2018 Share Posted August 3, 2018 1 minute ago, Donathan said: Can she not just phone her fucking pal to see if she's just running late or actually not coming? If pal doesn't answer give it 10 minutes then leave. I told her that and her response was “she might be driving”. Fucking mental ah tell you. (The pal turned up 5 minutes later) 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rugster Posted August 3, 2018 Share Posted August 3, 2018 13 minutes ago, Melanius Mullarkey said: I told her that and her response was “she might be driving”. Fucking mental ah tell you. (The pal turned up 5 minutes later) I bet you were fucking shiteing yourself in case she came home early. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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