Infuriating Things Your Partner Does

[Aufc]

My mrs has gone from arranging nothing with her friends (“because I’m a mum”) to having shit arranged every weekend. I don’t actually mind this as I’m enjoying spending the weekends with my kids etc. However, it is the little comments from her and her mum. “Oh I was due a few” and “well deserved”. She has spent the last however many years not organising shit by her own choice. I have pestered her to arrange stuff but she never did. Then if I go for a night out and come home late then I get hit with “you are always out”.

I also give her a long lie if she has been out whereas I’m expected to get up with the kids. Ive seen me coming in at 4am and being up with the kids at 5.30am still absolutely mangled

[philpy]

On 24/09/2021 at 18:27, Jimmy Shaker said:

The war department is a fine cook. Particularly with the baking, which I have no knack for. What she can't do is clean up as she goes, or after herself once she's done - or at all - in the kitchen, meaning it's easier for me to make a batch lot of anything that would feed 50 than it is to let her do so much as pasta and sauce. 

She has more than once arrived home at night and found the kitchen clean and asked if I've actually made the tea, seemingly thinking it impossible that someone could actually cook and clean up at the same time. 

Your missus and mine must be related. She made cauliflower cheese and left this behind. I'm sure the judge would acquitt me....

[Jimmy Shaker]

Fucking state of thon. 

Herself made a fried egg this morning to go on toast. Somehow needed two pans. Came in from work to find the bottom half of egg shells sitting on the worktop still with the yolk in, because she won't eat that part of the egg. Won't put them in the fucking bin, either. 

[Stellaboz]

Just now, Jimmy Shaker said:

Fucking state of thon. 

Herself made a fried egg this morning to go on toast. Somehow needed two pans. Came in from work to find the bottom half of egg shells sitting on the worktop still with the yolk in, because she won't eat that part of the egg. Won't put them in the fucking bin, either. 

If she won't eat them, why NOT put them in the bin? What's she expecting from it, to suddenly turn into a baby chick?!

[101]

2 minutes ago, Jimmy Shaker said:

Fucking state of thon. 

Herself made a fried egg this morning to go on toast. Somehow needed two pans. Came in from work to find the bottom half of egg shells sitting on the worktop still with the yolk in, because she won't eat that part of the egg. Won't put them in the fucking bin, either. 

An egg white on toast? That's very very odd.

[Jimmy Shaker]

Just now, Stellaboz said:

If she won't eat them, why NOT put them in the bin? What's she expecting from it, to suddenly turn into a baby chick?!

f**k knows. I've watched her at work in the kitchen and while the end results are fine, the process would make your skin crawl. She can't get through making a fry-up without leaving the kitchen in such a state that it often occurs to me we'd be quicker moving than cleaning up. 

[Jimmy Shaker]

11 minutes ago, 101 said:

An egg white on toast? That's very very odd.

I'm not fussed about it, although it's just the latest in a line of food-ordering bullshit I'm sure she does for effect. Nothing can be ordered off a menu as-is, there's ALWAYS to be a change. 

[Melanius Mullarkey]

27 minutes ago, philpy said:

Your missus and mine must be related. She made cauliflower cheese and left this behind. I'm sure the judge would acquitt me....

That machine needs levelled and pushed back in again.

[philpy]

6 minutes ago, Melanius Mullarkey said:

That machine needs levelled and pushed back in again.

How dare you speak about my wife like that. 

Anyway,  you specialise in mushrooms and concrete. Leave washing machines to the experts.

[Jacksgranda]

My wife is reading one of her "women's" magazines, and has read out (her) synopsis of a story involving a commercial flight to Malaysia, black operatives sanctioned by the government and Kuwait/Iran/Iraq (all 3 have been mentioned), and the use  of the passengers as cover for these black ops, therebye putting them at risk,  but as Saddam Hussain was also mentioned I'm assuming it has something to do with the Iraqi invasion of Kuwait, but I'm scared to ask. Anyway, the government aren't admitting it. 

[UsedToGoToCentralPark]

My wife is reading one of her "women's" magazines, and has read out (her) synopsis of a story involving a commercial flight to Malaysia, black operatives sanctioned by the government and Kuwait/Iran/Iraq (all 3 have been mentioned), and the use  of the passengers as cover for these black ops, therebye putting them at risk,  but as Saddam Hussain was also mentioned I'm assuming it has something to do with the Iraqi invasion of Kuwait, but I'm scared to ask. Anyway, the government aren't admitting it. 

British Airways Flight 149 possibly there's a book out about it.

[Melanius Mullarkey]

11 minutes ago, UsedToGoToCentralPark said:

British Airways Flight 149 possibly there's a book out about it.

Quite the career U-turn there. Snooker to DJing and (presumably) shite novels.

Unless its the Sevco boy. 

[Derry Alli]

59 minutes ago, Jimmy Shaker said:

I'm not fussed about it, although it's just the latest in a line of food-ordering bullshit I'm sure she does for effect. Nothing can be ordered off a menu as-is, there's ALWAYS to be a change. 

Mines was like this. 

She'd order a cheeseburger without cheese - which is fair enough if they don't have a hamburger on the menu. But they do. 

We'd go to a pizza joint and she'd kick up a massive fuss because she doesn't like cheese - or pizza particularly - only to then, a weekend later order a fucking spicy chicken pizza from the takeaway to be delivered. 

"But its different from a takeaway." 

GoFuckYersel. 

[Rizzo]

 This one is apparently fine to use again. It'll be needing it's own wee bed and water dish by tomorrow.

Edited September 26, 2021 by Rizzo

[welshbairn]

I worked for a couple for a short spell who competed to complain about every fucking thing when we stopped for a meal somewhere. "The lettuce is a little limp, could you ask the chef if he has some fresh?" Me trying to dissolve into the background.

[Rugster]

29 minutes ago, welshbairn said:

I worked for a couple for a short spell who competed to complain about every fucking thing when we stopped for a meal somewhere. "The lettuce is a little limp, could you ask the chef if he has some fresh?" Me trying to dissolve into the background.

Were you the butler?

[welshbairn]

1 minute ago, Rugster said:

Were you the butler?

Flogging biker boots and helmets round trade shows and races, mainly to middle aged couples wanting matching colours. Apart from them it was a laugh.

[Tony Ferrino]

4 minutes ago, welshbairn said:

Flogging biker boots and helmets round trade shows and races, mainly to middle aged couples wanting matching colours. Apart from them it was a laugh.

No swinging involved there then.

[Miguel Sanchez]

34 minutes ago, Rugster said:

Were you the butler?

 

30 minutes ago, welshbairn said:

Flogging biker boots and helmets round trade shows and races, mainly to middle aged couples wanting matching colours. Apart from them it was a laugh.

I was going to say the pet gimp but he already supplied that answer.

[Shandon Par]

2 hours ago, Jacksgranda said:

My wife is reading one of her "women's" magazines, and has read out (her) synopsis of a story involving a commercial flight to Malaysia, black operatives sanctioned by the government and Kuwait/Iran/Iraq (all 3 have been mentioned), and the use  of the passengers as cover for these black ops, therebye putting them at risk,  but as Saddam Hussain was also mentioned I'm assuming it has something to do with the Iraqi invasion of Kuwait, but I'm scared to ask. Anyway, the government aren't admitting it. 

You sure it’s not a recruitment pamphlet? Beware the radicalised grannies.