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C**** on a Train


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15 hours ago, chomp my root said:

Apologies in advance, drinking heavily tomorrow and on the choo choo's. Unlikely to be be a total cvnt but might take the odd excursion to the land of cvnt from time to time.

Unleash The Nade says you're already there...

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Standing room only Carlisle to Glasgow , stood in the vestibule with 6 other folk and luggage , c***s getting up from their seats and trying to push into the vestibule to get to the door before we're even thru Eglinton Street bridge . Sit back down you utter cretins !

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Standing room only Carlisle to Glasgow , stood in the vestibule with 6 other folk and luggage , c***s getting up from their seats and trying to push into the vestibule to get to the door before we're even thru Eglinton Street bridge . Sit back down you utter cretins !


Why would anyone take a long distance train without reserving a seat?
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Why would anyone take a long distance train without reserving a seat?

Would hardly call Carlisle to Glasgow long distance ! Heard the guard mention something about no reservations anyway due to whatever reason , myself I was just wanting to be on the first train back home after being on my own one from 7 this morning .
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On 21/10/2017 at 14:43, Jacksgranda said:

FTFY

Wasn't too bad, was hoping to be a dishevelled heap but I'll try harder next time.

On 21/10/2017 at 14:45, Jacksgranda said:

Unleash The Nade says you're already there...

He'd be right, but for the wrong reasons. :lol:

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Old dear is in front of me furiously stabbing at the door close button as the train approaches the station. She stops doing this as the train stops. I assume she has realised her two errors ie the doors won't open when the train is moving, particularly if your hitting the close button.

The train is stationary, she now stares, motionless at the doors, a few seconds pass. I say to her "you'll need to press the button". No response, deaf as a stab. Time has moved on, people are behind me, the pressure is building, I need to act. I push past her and open the doors in the nick of time, avoiding us all going to Bathgate. What thanks do I get?..none. I seen her get in a car and start ranting at the driver and glaring at me for being so rude. I should get a medal.

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On 10/22/2017 at 16:50, JamesP_81 said:

Standing room only Carlisle to Glasgow , stood in the vestibule with 6 other folk and luggage , c***s getting up from their seats and trying to push into the vestibule to get to the door before we're even thru Eglinton Street bridge . Sit back down you utter cretins !

I'm intrigued by your use of the word vestibule. I thought vestibules were what folk from Broughty Ferry called their lobby...

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10 minutes ago, Angusfifer said:

I'm intrigued by your use of the word vestibule. I thought vestibules were what folk from Broughty Ferry called their lobby...

It's what the guard calls it over the tannoy.

Though people from Airdrie think they're one of the things you're supposed to eat five portions a day.

Edited by GordonD
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4 minutes ago, GordonD said:

It's what the guard calls it over the tannoy.

Though people from Airdrie think they're one of the things you're supposed to eat five portions a day.

I'm also intrigued by the word guard. What are they supposed to be guarding? 

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10 minutes ago, Angusfifer said:

I'm also intrigued by the word guard. What are they supposed to be guarding? 

No doubt they have some fancy job title these days, like 'Ticketing Services Assistant (which is what they have on the trams) but I can't keep up.

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Rush hour at Central I get to the huge queue for the barriers and see at the front an old woman looking for her ticket as the queue waits and builds up behind her, I switch queues as I can see where it's going, but follow the action. She then doesn't understand how the ticket works and tries swiping it on the smart card but repeatedly, for some reason the guy behind her doesn't help at all. Eventually finds the slot and puts the ticket in, gates open, and she thinks this is the time to then put her purse back in the handbag BEFORE moving through, so that as she starts to go through the gates close on her. Then decides this is the fault of the Scotrail boy at the gates rather than her own idiocy and starts going mental about how "for no reason the gates closed straight away" on her. 

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This more an idiot than a c**t.

Train to Central from Kilwinning. Train has just left Paisley GS and next stop is Central.

One idiot is already standing with one bag on shoulder and holding the handle of their suitcase.

They are standing beside their now empty seat and it will be at least 10 mins till the train stops

Just going through Hillington.
Does she think this makes the journey quicker ?

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It does make the journey go quicker. Have you never tried it?



No

What I do is get on at the back of the train and as we near my destination if I in a hurry run the the front carriage to speed my journey.

Standing next to your empty seat is just daft by comparison
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1 minute ago, MEADOWXI said:

 

 


No

What I do is get on at the back of the train and as we near my destination if I in a hurry run the the front carriage to speed my journey.

Standing next to your empty seat is just daft by comparison

 

 

I like to fall asleep on trains. I find that greatly increases the speed of my journey.

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Would hardly call Carlisle to Glasgow long distance ! Heard the guard mention something about no reservations


In my experience, the greatest train meltdowns occur on East Coast / Virgin trains when the electronic system fails (on a not too uncommon basis) and people can't understand why there might be someone else in the precious seat that will prevent them having to stand from Sheffield to Edinburgh. They should employ a violinist for some background music when folk start pulling out the 'why they deserve a seat more' sob stories.

We should all take a moment to appreciate not just the old skool system, but the the Scotrail foot soldiers who undertake what must be the incredibly tedious task of placing bits of cardboard in all the seats. Great for working out which carriages to target for a seat as well.
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