Barry Ferguson's Hat Posted February 6, 2019 Share Posted February 6, 2019 The Chinese are a great bunch of lads. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
johnthebaptistist Posted February 6, 2019 Share Posted February 6, 2019 4 hours ago, BallochSonsFan said: Moving to a new office from Monday. Today was my last day working with one of my colleagues. This woman doesnt like me. I don't like her. Very few people do. She hasn't spoken with me for 2 1/2 weeks since our last meeting as a management team. This is the woman who will leave milk cartons containing varying states of cheese on the kitchen counter rather than binning them when she cleans out the fridge because "they need to learn". She absolutely hates it when people move her stuff when she's not in. Would it be wrong of me to change the settings on her chair, move her monitor and generally mess up her stuff for her to come in to on Monday morning? My current favourite is to change their language settings when they leave their PC unattended, mainly Chinese or Russian does the trick 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GordonD Posted February 6, 2019 Share Posted February 6, 2019 1 hour ago, johnthebaptistist said: My current favourite is to change their language settings when they leave their PC unattended, mainly Chinese or Russian does the trick Or adjust the mouse settings - reverse the buttons or make it really really fast 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ah-dee Posted February 6, 2019 Share Posted February 6, 2019 Put a piece of the stinkiest cheese possible on her desk and leave a message saying "I have learnt - Bye."close. open up the keyboard, mouse and well anything possible and fill with bits of cheese and sardines. sardines would be my choice. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hillonearth Posted February 6, 2019 Share Posted February 6, 2019 I love the old favourites. Used to have a wee wifie in our place who was notorious for leaving her PC unlocked which quite a few people treated as an open goal. One time we changed her cursor to the most random option available- a banana. She came back 20 minutes later: "Ohh, my wee arrow turned into a banana..." Yep, her wee arrow... "Don't be daft, Margaret - course it hasn't..." Looks at her screen more closely: "Maybe it hasn't." 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hk blues Posted February 7, 2019 Share Posted February 7, 2019 11 hours ago, Barry Ferguson's Hat said: The Chinese are a great bunch of lads. It must be all that sex they're getting! 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Boghead ranter Posted February 7, 2019 Share Posted February 7, 2019 15 hours ago, BallochSonsFan said: Moving to a new office from Monday. Today was my last day working with one of my colleagues. This woman doesnt like me. I don't like her. Very few people do. She hasn't spoken with me for 2 1/2 weeks since our last meeting as a management team. This is the woman who will leave milk cartons containing varying states of cheese on the kitchen counter rather than binning them when she cleans out the fridge because "they need to learn". She absolutely hates it when people move her stuff when she's not in. Would it be wrong of me to change the settings on her chair, move her monitor and generally mess up her stuff for her to come in to on Monday morning? 15 hours ago, Bairnardo said: 15 hours ago, BallochSonsFan said: Moving to a new office from Monday. Today was my last day working with one of my colleagues. This woman doesnt like me. I don't like her. Very few people do. She hasn't spoken with me for 2 1/2 weeks since our last meeting as a management team. This is the woman who will leave milk cartons containing varying states of cheese on the kitchen counter rather than binning them when she cleans out the fridge because "they need to learn". She absolutely hates it when people move her stuff when she's not in. Would it be wrong of me to change the settings on her chair, move her monitor and generally mess up her stuff for her to come in to on Monday morning? Prise three or four keys off her keyboard and switch them about. None of the qwerty ones. Too obvious. Be amazed how much that fucks with people. 10 hours ago, johnthebaptistist said: My current favourite is to change their language settings when they leave their PC unattended, mainly Chinese or Russian does the trick 8 hours ago, GordonD said: Or adjust the mouse settings - reverse the buttons or make it really really fast Wee bit of sticky tape over the laser in her mouse should keep her amused for a while too. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DA Baracus Posted February 7, 2019 Share Posted February 7, 2019 Change the ringtone on her desk phone and turn it up as loud as possible. She'll shit herself when it rings. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stellaboz Posted February 7, 2019 Share Posted February 7, 2019 Is her screen full of links and icons? Take a screenshot and save it as the background, and remove all the links. 14 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
M0rtonfc Posted February 7, 2019 Share Posted February 7, 2019 17 hours ago, BallochSonsFan said: Moving to a new office from Monday. Today was my last day working with one of my colleagues. This woman doesnt like me. I don't like her. Very few people do. She hasn't spoken with me for 2 1/2 weeks since our last meeting as a management team. This is the woman who will leave milk cartons containing varying states of cheese on the kitchen counter rather than binning them when she cleans out the fridge because "they need to learn". She absolutely hates it when people move her stuff when she's not in. Would it be wrong of me to change the settings on her chair, move her monitor and generally mess up her stuff for her to come in to on Monday morning? Sounds to me like she is in need of a right good PUMPING! 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jacksgranda Posted February 7, 2019 Share Posted February 7, 2019 8 minutes ago, M0rtonfc said: Sounds to me like she is in need of a right good PUMPING! 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
D.A.F.C Posted February 7, 2019 Share Posted February 7, 2019 Is her screen full of links and icons? Take a screenshot and save it as the background, and remove all the links. Create a bat file that shuts down the computer and make the icon internet explorer.Create dozens of new folders. Rename them giant cock porn or similar then take a screenshot. Set screenshot as background then delete folders from desktop. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bairnardo Posted February 7, 2019 Share Posted February 7, 2019 Sounds to me like she is in need of a right good PUMPING!Aye this. If her chair has one of they lumbar support things, PUMP it right up and her chair will be uncomfortable for about 4 seconds before she deflates it. That will teach the cow. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Northboy Posted February 7, 2019 Share Posted February 7, 2019 I used to work for a boss who generally wasn't a bad bloke but he was a bit old school and had a slightly pompous way about him. One day when his car was in for service he asked a young lab technician if he could drop him off at the garage on the way home. As it was on his way the technician agreed and waited in the car park for him after work. The boss turned up and promptly settled himself in the back of the car like he was being chauffeured. The technician lad was too young and quiet to say anything but several people in the car park at the time noticed and the next day it was all around work. The boss was ribbed for it for years up until he retired and to be fair he took the wind ups in fairly good faith. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fullerene Posted February 7, 2019 Share Posted February 7, 2019 1 hour ago, Stellaboz said: Is her screen full of links and icons? Take a screenshot and save it as the background, and remove all the links. Similar idea. Take a screenshot, edit it in Paint Shop to add a smudge and then save it as the background. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cardinal Richelieu Posted February 7, 2019 Share Posted February 7, 2019 There's a Chrome plug-in that changes every image on every web-page you visit to pictures of Nicholas Cage. Of course, there's not much point in using this on any technophobes (e.g. @Tynierose) who probably don't even know what Chrome is, much less that you can use it to access the internet. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rugster Posted February 7, 2019 Share Posted February 7, 2019 1 minute ago, Cardinal Richelieu said: There's a Chrome plug-in that changes every image on every web-page you visit to pictures of Nicholas Cage. Of course, there's not much point in using this on any technophobes (e.g. @Tynierose) who probably don't even know what Chrome is, much less that you can use it to access the internet. Get the fucking league tables done 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rugster Posted February 7, 2019 Share Posted February 7, 2019 Your eminence. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheScarf Posted February 7, 2019 Share Posted February 7, 2019 3 hours ago, M0rtonfc said: Sounds to me like she is in need of a right good PUMPING! Might bloody have to now! See you later. 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rugster Posted February 7, 2019 Share Posted February 7, 2019 Haw what the f**k's going on here! @Cardinal Richelieu Get that monstrosity of an actor away from my profile! 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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