Work colleagues

[strichener]

15 hours ago, Honest_Man#1 said:

Legally I think you’re right, but if they keep more than that it’s up to you to take them to court to get it back. Depends on the role and the professionalism of the company, and the value making it financially worthwhile to take them to court.

When I worked in Coop as a teenager for a few months there was a finger scanner for scanning in and out. I discovered that the manager was editing the system manually to change everyone’s in and out times to the exact minute their shift officially started and ended to stop overtime payments, without telling people to ensure they kept doing the required extra time after the shift to lock up etc. I questioned them on it when I was blatantly underpaid for quite a few of hours. I quit, but was told if I didn’t work the notice they would withhold holiday pay and the previous 2 weeks wages of shifts id already worked. As frustrating as it was, I needed the money and couldn’t afford to take them to court over a small amount, so just had to accept it and work the full notice.

It's an employment tribunal and they no longer cost any money.

[101]

2 minutes ago, Pato said:

Just remembered being in a meeting once, we all have company issued lanyards with the company name on them and I spotted someone sitting across from me had a slightly different looking one and realised to my horror they'd replaced it with one that said live laugh love.

 

3 minutes ago, strichener said:

It's an employment tribunal and they no longer cost any money.

HtH

[Honest_Man#1]

7 minutes ago, Pato said:

Just remembered being in a meeting once, we all have company issued lanyards with the company name on them and I spotted someone sitting across from me had a slightly different looking one and realised to my horror they'd replaced it with one that said live laugh love.

That’s another one that highlights a jobsworth w****r, the company lanyard. Anyone wearing these whilst not in their work building (even then unless it’s mandated to wear them it’s loser behaviour) should be pelted with rotten tomatoes. Remember a guy in my year at school who worked in a clothes shop, and when going for his lunch, he would swap his lanyard with one that said manager on it to walk around town. Pathetic.

[thistledo]

The whole 45 minutes thing would be a tough call for me, on one hand it's an excellent opportunity to go in and f**k with someones business and the person ordering someone to do this should really know better, extremely naïve thing to do. I'm meaning nothing major, but I could easily subtly cause a bit of disruption on my own.  On the other hand, lying sleeping in bed is also nice. 

I left a job at the very start of 2020 after being there 6 months, it started as a contract but went perm as someone let slip they were going to bin me as soon as they got a perm replacement. They'd been burned by the last guy leaving with a weeks notice and a three week holiday so I had a 2 month notice. I never worked all of it and ended up leaving early by about a week, as I needed to start a new job then. But the manager was absolutely furious about this, possibly furious I was leaving after having to pay an agency some mental fee as well. I had more or less control over everything in terms of technology that ran their business, if it was me I'd never annoy that person. Anyway, nothing happened after it, except I didn't get paid for that week, which I obviously was fine with. 

Edited April 23, 2021 by thistledo

[TheScarf]

I had similar to my last contract job that ended in December.  The council paid the agency a lot of money to recruit someone for a 3 month contract (probably more than what I got paid in the 3 months I worked there) and I ended up having to self isolate as a colleague got Covid mid-December.  So I got paid for the 2 weeks I was lying in bed/ sat on my arse watching TV and the manager was seething.  As if it came out of his own fucking pay.

[hk blues]

15 hours ago, GordonD said:

Might have mentioned this before, but...

Not work colleagues of mine but of my dad's. He used to work in a big printer's in Slateford Road and once he told me about two guys that were caught pulling a fast one. When they did Sunday overtime they were supposed to start at eight o'clock but would always turn up just before nine. They would stick a little piece of paper on their time cards so that when they clocked in it would say 8:59 or whatever - except that the 59 part was on the paper. They'd peel it off and stick it on top of the 8, then clock in again - this time it would say 9:00 but now the 9 was on the paper, so when they peeled that off the card said 8:00 and looked as if they were on time.

This went on for a few weeks until the day the guy with the keys to the place slept in. He arrived at about half past eight to find all the workers standing out in the street cursing him. He opened up and everybody went in to start work. And half an hour later the bold boys rolled up and went through their usual procedure, unaware of what had happened, and ended up with time cards stating that they were inside half an hour before the doors were unlocked.

Not sure to what extent the collar-feeling went but one way or another they didn't try it again.

One of my first jobs after leaving college was in payroll and as the new guy I was given the task of checking the clock cards every Monday for wages.  Don't tell my Boss (he's probably deid anyway) but after a month or so I realised how soul destroying this task was and how it would break me If I took it too seriously.   To be honest, it was a waste of time as all the old timers were well-versed in the ways of "fooling" the system such as above.  I also had to write the clock cards every week and as we were not that busy I was about a year ahead with this.

Good times.

Edited April 23, 2021 by hk blues

[thistledo]

47 minutes ago, TheScarf said:

I had similar to my last contract job that ended in December.  The council paid the agency a lot of money to recruit someone for a 3 month contract (probably more than what I got paid in the 3 months I worked there) and I ended up having to self isolate as a colleague got Covid mid-December.  So I got paid for the 2 weeks I was lying in bed/ sat on my arse watching TV and the manager was seething.  As if it came out of his own fucking pay.

Glorious tbh. This was the same sort of attitude from my guy, he was the "Business optimisation director" a kind of 'he's been there so long we better add director to his title' type guy. Absolute bellend, so tight it was unreal, I saved them a lot of money on monthly cloud costs in the space of a month (in fact almost enough to cover the cost of my contract) and I genuinely have never seen someone so excited abut work. He never attended social things and always seemed to be working and acting as if he was under a lot of pressure. 

I think a lot of the seethe was generated as they tried to outsmart the agency by advising them they ended my contract while trying to get me to go perm, which I advised against due to my contract had a clause that I couldn't work for them again for 6 months. So they ended up paying a ridiculous finders fee which the guy I worked with told me the amount. Me and the guy at the agency got accused of being in cahoots about this fee as the date I handed in my notice was shortly after them paying the final instalment. 

[Benjamin_Nevis]

She could go in and spend 44 mins starting some absolute behemoth of a task that will be an utter c**t to finish then get up at the 45 mins mark and say "Oh that's a shame, I'm finished now. Have at it cuntos"

[bennett]

6 hours ago, Hillonearth said:

That poster roughly ten minutes after it went up in any office I've ever worked in:

 

 

Throbbers been cloned?

[Miguel Sanchez]

6 hours ago, Honest_Man#1 said:

That’s another one that highlights a jobsworth w****r, the company lanyard. Anyone wearing these whilst not in their work building (even then unless it’s mandated to wear them it’s loser behaviour) should be pelted with rotten tomatoes. Remember a guy in my year at school who worked in a clothes shop, and when going for his lunch, he would swap his lanyard with one that said manager on it to walk around town. Pathetic.

@Joey Jo Jo Junior Shabadoo

[Joey Jo Jo Junior Shabadoo]

7 hours ago, Honest_Man#1 said:

That’s another one that highlights a jobsworth w****r, the company lanyard. Anyone wearing these whilst not in their work building (even then unless it’s mandated to wear them it’s loser behaviour) should be pelted with rotten tomatoes. Remember a guy in my year at school who worked in a clothes shop, and when going for his lunch, he would swap his lanyard with one that said manager on it to walk around town. Pathetic.

[Mark Connolly]

13 hours ago, Day of the Lords said:

She could go in and spend 44 mins starting some absolute behemoth of a task that will be an utter c**t to finish then get up at the 45 mins mark and say "Oh that's a shame, I'm finished now. Have at it cuntos"

Tie up the photocopier with 100,000 copies of the email that said she had to work 45 minutes.

[hk blues]

15 hours ago, Day of the Lords said:

She could go in and spend 44 mins starting some absolute behemoth of a task that will be an utter c**t to finish then get up at the 45 mins mark and say "Oh that's a shame, I'm finished now. Have at it cuntos"

Nah, the poor cunto that will have to finish it will not be the cunto responsible for this cuntish situation.  

[Busta Nut]

The work place have maybe asked her in so they can give her a lovely send off, with cake and tea. A wee present here n that.

 

Maybe not though.

 

4 hours ago, Mark Connolly said:

Tie up the photocopier with 100,000 copies of the email that said she had to work 45 minutes.

Minute 44 I'd defo have this done. 100K is a bit much so maybe 300 or so. enough to ruin a drawer of paper. 

Maybe even a picture of her face. 

 

I printed a picture of my face and typed something like "did ye? aye." under it and stuck it in a notice board and no one noticed for months.

 

ETA: it was the pic I attached

Edited April 24, 2021 by Busta Nut
add the pic.

[Fullerene]

2 hours ago, Busta Nut said:

The work place have maybe asked her in so they can give her a lovely send off, with cake and tea. A wee present here n that.

Bit awkward if she only finds that out at the end of the 45 minutes, during which time she has followed some of the suggestions posted here.

[IrishBhoy]

A guy I work alongside recently got his son a job in our place, in a sort of storeman/labourer role on the shop floor. His first few days passed by incident free, but as he started to get more involved and come out his shell a bit, it became obvious to everyone that he’s one of the least intelligent people ever to walk the planet.
 

I’ve only had about 4 weeks worth of material out of him, but so far he has; stood trying to drill a 6mm hole for half an hour with the drill going in reverse; claimed that he has never heard of a leap year, and then refused to believe the guy who explained to him what a leap year was as he thought he was winding him up; walked around for 2 weeks with work boots on that were at least 4 sizes too big because he thought steel toe caps only came in one size; drove home after work one day and got diverted off the motorway due to an accident, and instead of following the diversion he drove back to work and sat in the car park for 2 hours until the motorway cleared; got left a note to clear walkways as there was an important visit happening, and was found outside the main door cleaning the pavement with a mop. 
 

He’s in his early 20’s but comes across like he has led a very sheltered life, although that may be the fault of his parents rather than himself. He doesn’t seem to have many friends outside of work, but he doesn’t seem to have any hobbies or interests either. He’s not into football or any other sport and says he doesn’t like the taste of alcohol so doesn’t drink, so there’s not much for the guys in work that are the same age as him to talk about. His dad said he done well at school but just struggled to find a job, but I find that hard to believe. I do feel bad for him and it’s not nice to be slagging the boy for his intelligence , but I’ve never been exposed to anything like this level of stupidity. He doesn’t seem to be mentally impaired in any way and I don’t believe he has ever been diagnosed with anything. It may be in bad taste, but the last few weeks in work have been very funny with him around at least. 

[hk blues]

2 hours ago, IrishBhoy said:

His dad said he done well at school but just struggled to find a job, but I find that hard to believe. I do feel bad for him and it’s not nice to be slagging the boy for his intelligence...

[Guest]

A guy I work alongside recently got his son a job in our place, in a sort of storeman/labourer role on the shop floor. His first few days passed by incident free, but as he started to get more involved and come out his shell a bit, it became obvious to everyone that he’s one of the least intelligent people ever to walk the planet.
 
I’ve only had about 4 weeks worth of material out of him, but so far he has; stood trying to drill a 6mm hole for half an hour with the drill going in reverse; claimed that he has never heard of a leap year, and then refused to believe the guy who explained to him what a leap year was as he thought he was winding him up; walked around for 2 weeks with work boots on that were at least 4 sizes too big because he thought steel toe caps only came in one size; drove home after work one day and got diverted off the motorway due to an accident, and instead of following the diversion he drove back to work and sat in the car park for 2 hours until the motorway cleared; got left a note to clear walkways as there was an important visit happening, and was found outside the main door cleaning the pavement with a mop. 
 
He’s in his early 20’s but comes across like he has led a very sheltered life, although that may be the fault of his parents rather than himself. He doesn’t seem to have many friends outside of work, but he doesn’t seem to have any hobbies or interests either. He’s not into football or any other sport and says he doesn’t like the taste of alcohol so doesn’t drink, so there’s not much for the guys in work that are the same age as him to talk about. His dad said he done well at school but just struggled to find a job, but I find that hard to believe. I do feel bad for him and it’s not nice to be slagging the boy for his intelligence , but I’ve never been exposed to anything like this level of stupidity. He doesn’t seem to be mentally impaired in any way and I don’t believe he has ever been diagnosed with anything. It may be in bad taste, but the last few weeks in work have been very funny with him around at least. 

Kid sounds born to do an office job.

[TheScarf]

Yeah there's load of folk like that.  Have no aptitude for doing a manual sort of job and you have to show them how to fucking hold a shovel or a brush or something.  

When I worked as a brickie, some of the agency labourers were like that.  Young lads who had clearly never done a chore or housework in their life and were clearly meant for photocopying or some other office based task.  Trying to show them how to make mortar would be a nightmare.

[TheScarf]

3 minutes ago, Pato said:

I used to work in a lab and the pipettes you use to add stuff to sample trays cost about £200 each and another £30 to get them cleaned and serviced. You press down until you feel resistance, stop, dip the tip into whatever it is you're wanting a volume of, release and it sooks it up, then move it to the pot you want to add it to and press down past the point of resistance to make sure all of it goes in. Very important you get that in the right order. Half press first to sook, full press to skoosh. Every time we'd get a young new hire out of university or some work experience kid I would explain this and every time they'd push the button down the whole way on the first bit, release and the contents of the solution would get sooked up into the innards of the pipette, knocking it out of action and costing us money to get it cleaned and fixed.

Once had a guy spreading bacterial cultures on plates of growth media gel. You heat up a wire loop to sterilise it then once it cools you dip it into your sample and spread it on the gel. Came into the lab to see him blowing (hint, human breath is not sterile) on it because 'it takes too long waiting for it to cool down on its own'... we hid these people away when the accreditation people were doing an audit.

I don't think all youngsters are idiots but there's a subset that seem to be too thick to process the most basic instructions and just don't seem to be teachable.