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33 minutes ago, Rugster said:

By the way it's Nick Cage, not Cave.

Oh aye. That joke fell on its arse.  And it's Nicolas, not Nicholas. Christ. I see you've worked out how to get all your stuff back. That must be worth a bonus point in the league. 

19 minutes ago, Bairnardo said:
2 hours ago, Cardinal Richelieu said:
There's a Chrome plug-in that changes every image on every web-page you visit to pictures of Nicholas Cage. 
Of course, there's not much point in using this on any technophobes (e.g. [mention=30230]Tynierose[/mention]) who probably don't even know what Chrome is, much less that you can use it to access the internet. 

How do I do this to others?

https://chrome.google.com/webstore/detail/ncage/hnbmfljfohghaepamnfokgggaejlmfol?hl=en

Edited by Cardinal Richelieu
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20 hours ago, Cardinal Richelieu said:

There's a Chrome plug-in that changes every image on every web-page you visit to pictures of Nicholas Cage. 

Of course, there's not much point in using this on any technophobes (e.g. @Tynierose) who probably don't even know what Chrome is, much less that you can use it to access the internet. 

Can you use that on dial up to get on this inter web thing?

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Instant Message conversation with Work Colleague.

WC:     Hey - are you free to talk for 15 minutes before the team call?
Me:     Well, the team call is in 10 minutes so...
WC:     Right but are you free to talk?
Me:     Yes. Give me a call.
WC:     What? Now?

This is why you hear of violence in the work place.

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One of my less experienced work colleagues failed to abide by the new security requirements to lock one's screen when walking away from one's desk. He returned to find his desktop background changed  to feature the Backstreet Boys. I wasn't responsible for this. I merely sat and laughed.

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One of my less experienced work colleagues failed to abide by the new security requirements to lock one's screen when walking away from one's desk. He returned to find his desktop background changed  to feature the Backstreet Boys. I wasn't responsible for this. I merely sat and laughed.
Should have sang "colleagues name Streets back alright"
Boabstreets back alright
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  • 2 weeks later...

The kitchen drama queen
Someone who cries if another colleague doesn't wash a spoon or leaves something out of place.
Nah you're right it totally makes sense to keep the milk in the fridge at break time when twenty people are making a cup of tea.
Nope let's open and shut the fridge twenty times and ask everyone if they need the milk or not inbetween.
Idiots.

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2 minutes ago, D.A.F.C said:

The kitchen drama queen
Someone who cries if another colleague doesn't wash a spoon or leaves something out of place.
Nah you're right it totally makes sense to keep the milk in the fridge at break time when twenty people are making a cup of tea.
Nope let's open and shut the fridge twenty times and ask everyone if they need the milk or not inbetween.
Idiots.

To add to that, folk who cry their eyes out when someone doesn't leave any water in the kettle after they've used it.  Fucking put water in it yourself you lazy cunt.

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To add to that, folk who cry their eyes out when someone doesn't leave any water in the kettle after they've used it.  Fucking put water in it yourself you lazy cunt.
A spoon! A dirty spoon! Everyone look at this someone has left a spoon on the bunker with a bit of coffee on it!
So you just pick up a spoon from a bunker without washing it and dunk it straight into your tea/coffee?
What a mink. Surely you wash every piece of cutlery at work before you use it?
Drama drama drama
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2 hours ago, TheScarf said:

To add to that, folk who cry their eyes out when someone doesn't leave any water in the kettle after they've used it.  Fucking put water in it yourself you lazy c**t.

Our work installed a boiling water "tap" which almost caused a war in here.  On the face of it, it's a great idea, boiling water in an instant is just what you need at work. Sadly the way it was installed meant that when a tank of boiling water was done you'd need to wait on the water tank filling and boiling again.  Not a huge problem you'd think but when the finance department decided that instead of each of them walking the 100 yards to the canteen to use this tap individually they would send 1 woman with the largest flask known to man to fill it up and wheel (yes, the thing had fucking wheels) it back to their wee office. This meant everyone in finance had boiling water at the drop of a hat but the rest of us were deprived until late morning. This in turn led to people bringing their own flask in, coming in half an hour earlier and getting the water to keep at their desk.  Luckily management have seen the ridiculousness of this and have installed a better water tank.

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Our work installed a boiling water "tap" which almost caused a war in here.  On the face of it, it's a great idea, boiling water in an instant is just what you need at work. Sadly the way it was installed meant that when a tank of boiling water was done you'd need to wait on the water tank filling and boiling again.  Not a huge problem you'd think but when the finance department decided that instead of each of them walking the 100 yards to the canteen to use this tap individually they would send 1 woman with the largest flask known to man to fill it up and wheel (yes, the thing had fucking wheels) it back to their wee office. This meant everyone in finance had boiling water at the drop of a hat but the rest of us were deprived until late morning. This in turn led to people bringing their own flask in, coming in half an hour earlier and getting the water to keep at their desk.  Luckily management have seen the ridiculousness of this and have installed a better water tank.
This has got me genuinely seething. People can be utter c***s
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16 minutes ago, The Moonster said:

Our work installed a boiling water "tap" which almost caused a war in here.  On the face of it, it's a great idea, boiling water in an instant is just what you need at work. Sadly the way it was installed meant that when a tank of boiling water was done you'd need to wait on the water tank filling and boiling again.  Not a huge problem you'd think but when the finance department decided that instead of each of them walking the 100 yards to the canteen to use this tap individually they would send 1 woman with the largest flask known to man to fill it up and wheel (yes, the thing had fucking wheels) it back to their wee office. This meant everyone in finance had boiling water at the drop of a hat but the rest of us were deprived until late morning. This in turn led to people bringing their own flask in, coming in half an hour earlier and getting the water to keep at their desk.  Luckily management have seen the ridiculousness of this and have installed a better water tank.

Why didn't they just tell finance to get to f**k with that nonsense?

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5 minutes ago, DA Baracus said:

Why didn't they just tell finance to get to f**k with that nonsense?

Finance argued that their office of 5 would be up and down all day if they couldn't keep hot water in the office, you know, just like they used to do when all we had was a kettle. I don't know why they weren't just telt, but everyone's happy now.

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3 hours ago, D.A.F.C said:

The kitchen drama queen
Someone who cries if another colleague doesn't wash a spoon or leaves something out of place.
Nah you're right it totally makes sense to keep the milk in the fridge at break time when twenty people are making a cup of tea.
Nope let's open and shut the fridge twenty times and ask everyone if they need the milk or not inbetween.
Idiots.

Please,

Thanks,

Kind regards,

Many thanks

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1 hour ago, Bairnardo said:
2 hours ago, DA Baracus said:
Top tip; get tea and coffee to f**k and have some (cold) water instead. 

Utterly shite tip

Incorrect. It's the best one you'll hear all week, possibly longer.

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