Work colleagues

[D.A.F.C]

Kick his head in

[Melanius Mullarkey]

1 hour ago, D.A.F.C said:

Kick his head in

Usually the default position for any work colleague related dealings.

[D.A.F.C]

It's what ACAS recommends

[Hedgecutter]

I work in an office of six perhaps once a week and noticed that there's frequently a strange smell in there; a pungent sour smell that's difficult to describe beyond that. All I know is that I find it incredibly repulsive.

 

I've smelled it a handful of times before, usually on people who have been drinking the night before, but through process of elimination I've narrowed it down to one guy two along from me who is always in the office when the smell is around, and absent when it's fine. I know fine well that he doesn't drink though. It's not classic sweaty 'BO' here, but something quite specific that I'm worried will still emanate regardless of personal hygiene.

 

I'm due to work in there every day from now on, am absolutely dreading the thought of it and have no idea about how to address the situation. Murder would be harsh.

[Sergeant Wilson]

2 hours ago, Hedgecutter said:

I work in an office of six perhaps once a week and noticed that there's frequently a strange smell in there; a pungent sour smell that's difficult to describe beyond that. All I know is that I find it incredibly repulsive.

 

I've smelled it a handful of times before, usually on people who have been drinking the night before, but through process of elimination I've narrowed it down to one guy two along from me who is always in the office when the smell is around, and absent when it's fine. I know fine well that he doesn't drink though. It's not classic sweaty 'BO' here, but something quite specific that I'm worried will still emanate regardless of personal hygiene.

 

I'm due to work in there every day from now on, am absolutely dreading the thought of it and have no idea about how to address the situation. Murder would be harsh.

Leave shower gel and deodorant on his desk with a note explaining he's fùcking stinking and everybody is talking about him.

[Hedgecutter]

Leave shower gel and deodorant on his desk

 

 

As I tried to suggest, I don't think these items will make a bit of difference. Probably the case that he'd go for a shower and be reekin again an hour later. Not sure if it's a diet thing rich in garlic, onions or whatever.

[Sergeant Wilson]

7 hours ago, Hedgecutter said:

 

 

As I tried to suggest, I don't think these items will make a bit of difference. Probably the case that he'd go for a shower and be reekin again an hour later. Not sure if it's a diet thing rich in garlic, onions or whatever.

I was thinking that he'd be so humiliated, he'd never come back.

[MEADOWXI]

13 hours ago, Hedgecutter said:

I work in an office of six perhaps once a week and noticed that there's frequently a strange smell in there; a pungent sour smell that's difficult to describe beyond that. All I know is that I find it incredibly repulsive.

 

I've smelled it a handful of times before, usually on people who have been drinking the night before, but through process of elimination I've narrowed it down to one guy two along from me who is always in the office when the smell is around, and absent when it's fine. I know fine well that he doesn't drink though. It's not classic sweaty 'BO' here, but something quite specific that I'm worried will still emanate regardless of personal hygiene.

 

I'm due to work in there every day from now on, am absolutely dreading the thought of it and have no idea about how to address the situation. Murder would be harsh.

This is P&B,

Whilst turning the heating up full blast may not help, opening the windows definitely will,

And never any harm in a kick in the pie to get the message across if he asks why you have opened the windows

Edited April 11, 2018 by MEADOWXI

[Hedgecutter]

This is P&B,
Whilst turning the heating up full blast may not help, opening the windows definitely will,
And never any harm in a kick in the pie to get the message across if he asks why you have opened the windows

There are two women in the same office room so It'll be shut again within seconds.

So yeah, better brush up on those pie kicking skills.

[The Moonster]

11 hours ago, Hedgecutter said:

 

 

As I tried to suggest, I don't think these items will make a bit of difference. Probably the case that he'd go for a shower and be reekin again an hour later. Not sure if it's a diet thing rich in garlic, onions or whatever.

If you don't want to confront him yourself then go to your gaffer or HR and let them deal with it. We had an engineer in here who very clearly didn't shower or brush his teeth before he came into the factory.  There was one day he came into the office to speak to me and as soon as he opened his mouth I had to cover my nose such was the stench of stale shite coming from it (f**k knows what he had for breakfast) whilst frantically trying to tell him what he needed to know so that I could get him to leave. One of the other engineers told him he was stinking one day and he tried to justify himself by saying "what's the point in having a shower to come to your work and get dirty again?" which is complete tinker behaviour. He rightly took a pounding for his opinion and eventually he complained to HR that folk were bullying him for being a smelly c**t.  HR then spoke to both parties individually, telling the smelly c**t to wash himself and his clothes before coming to work and telling the other to stop the slagging. 

 

[Millions]

  
As I tried to suggest, I don't think these items will make a bit of difference. Probably the case that he'd go for a shower and be reekin again an hour later. Not sure if it's a diet thing rich in garlic, onions or whatever.

Your only hope is to brutally murder him, you owe it to your office

[itzdrk]

35 minutes ago, Hedgecutter said:

 

There are two women in the same office room so It'll be shut again within seconds.

So yeah, better brush up on those pie kicking skills.

 

Kill the women

[Hedgecutter]

Kill the women

 

 

... and two men just to avoid stirring up this ongoing 'gender equality in the workplace' hot potato.  Would never hear the end of it otherwise.

[Miguel Sanchez]

2 hours ago, The Moonster said:

If you don't want to confront him yourself then go to your gaffer or HR and let them deal with it. We had an engineer in here who very clearly didn't shower or brush his teeth before he came into the factory.  There was one day he came into the office to speak to me and as soon as he opened his mouth I had to cover my nose such was the stench of stale shite coming from it (f**k knows what he had for breakfast) whilst frantically trying to tell him what he needed to know so that I could get him to leave. One of the other engineers told him he was stinking one day and he tried to justify himself by saying "what's the point in having a shower to come to your work and get dirty again?" which is complete tinker behaviour. He rightly took a pounding for his opinion and eventually he complained to HR that folk were bullying him for being a smelly c**t.  HR then spoke to both parties individually, telling the smelly c**t to wash himself and his clothes before coming to work and telling the other to stop the slagging. 

 

Did he?

[The Moonster]

10 minutes ago, Miguel Sanchez said:

Did he?

He's started washing himself, his clothes not so much. HR actually had to speak to him again as we have a laundry service in here which is free for the engineers overalls and stuff but he was never using it. He's a complete tinker of a guy. 

[DA Baracus]

I'm totally with the opinion that smelly food shouldn't be eaten in the office. Even strong smelling sandwiches should not be consumed in the office. 

I'd actually ban the eating of any sort of main meal at your desk (snacks obviously are fine). I don't get why folk would want to do it anyway. It's good to get away from your desk for a bit. Also those who choose to do it should not be allowed to ignore their phone or questions from colleagues, as if you're at your desk you should be seen as available for work.

[Hedgecutter]

2 hours ago, DA Baracus said:

Also those who choose to do it should not be allowed to ignore their phone or questions from colleagues, as if you're at your desk you should be seen as available for work.

 

[Sergeant Wilson]

5 hours ago, Millions said:

Your only hope is to brutally murder him, you owe it to your office

No. Goad him in to suicide is Official Policy. 

[Mark Connolly]

23 hours ago, Millions said:

Your only hope is to brutally murder him, you owe it to your office

Make sure to dispose of the body in someone else's office though, so there's no smell in yours.

[Hillonearth]

We're going to have a big data migration soonish, so as usual everybody's in a panic over stuff they've been hoarding in their inboxes forever - I'd found and passed round a wee Excel thing which weeds emails and renames them so you you can sort them by date etc.

At a meeting this morning I was told by one of the big bosses that everyone's a lot happier since they got their hands on my fantastic tool.

I managed to keep a straight face. Just.