NJ2 Posted December 23, 2017 Share Posted December 23, 2017 My staff have given me a huge bag full of gifts again this year. Can safely say that im well looked after. Them on the other hand.... [emoji38] Jani/cleaner found 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rugster Posted December 23, 2017 Share Posted December 23, 2017 15 hours ago, Granny Danger said: I'm having the two folk that work in the office beside me for Christmas dinner. Could you not just have Turkey like most folk? Always got to go one better... 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Granny Danger Posted December 23, 2017 Share Posted December 23, 2017 Just now, Rugster said: Could you not just have Turkey like most folk? Always got to go one better... My wife and I always practice cannibalism for Christmas; it’s a family tradition. Last year for variety we started on a leg each eating from the foot up. After about 15 minutes I said to my wife “what do you think?”, she replied “I’m having a ball”. She’s a fast eater, I was still working on the knee. Sorry. 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DA Baracus Posted December 23, 2017 Share Posted December 23, 2017 One of the women in my office is astonishingly thick. Yesterday we were clearing out the fridge before everyone left for the Christmas break. We had some old cartons of juice that were out of date, so I said to chuck them out. She did just that, chucking the fuckers right in the bin without emptying them first. That however was not the most stupid thing. There was a container of old soup that had to be dumped. Instead of putting it in the bin, she emptied it in to sink. The obvious happened; the debris blocked the plug. To make it worse, she had the tap running, so the sink was full of old soup and water. Instead of just clearing the plughole, she was going to pour bleach in to the mixture. Quite what the f**k she expected to happen I don't know. I stopped her and used a spoon to scoop the debris out of the sink, letting the sink drain. She was still for pouring bleach down the plughole. Mentalist. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BFTD Posted December 23, 2017 Share Posted December 23, 2017 6 hours ago, DA Baracus said: One of the women in my office is astonishingly thick. I had my 'pics or GTF' all ready, until I realised you were referring to her intelligence 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
invergowrie arab Posted December 23, 2017 Share Posted December 23, 2017 7 hours ago, DA Baracus said: One of the women in my office is astonishingly thick. Yesterday we were clearing out the fridge before everyone left for the Christmas break. We had some old cartons of juice that were out of date, so I said to chuck them out. She did just that, chucking the fuckers right in the bin without emptying them first. That however was not the most stupid thing. There was a container of old soup that had to be dumped. Instead of putting it in the bin, she emptied it in to sink. The obvious happened; the debris blocked the plug. To make it worse, she had the tap running, so the sink was full of old soup and water. Instead of just clearing the plughole, she was going to pour bleach in to the mixture. Quite what the f**k she expected to happen I don't know. I stopped her and used a spoon to scoop the debris out of the sink, letting the sink drain. She was still for pouring bleach down the plughole. Mentalist. bleach dissolves human hair if you ever need to get rid of any in a hurry. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BFTD Posted December 23, 2017 Share Posted December 23, 2017 16 minutes ago, invergowrie arab said: bleach dissolves human hair if you ever need to get rid of any in a hurry. Don't be ridiculous. The DA puts their hair in the barrel of hydrochloric acid, along with the rest of them. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Busta Nut Posted December 23, 2017 Share Posted December 23, 2017 On 12/21/2017 at 03:28, Barry Ferguson's Hat said: Your wee laundry rotation? Go and have a poke of your wee fanny and you might not get so bent out of shape about a fucking dress-down day. ^^Manly man. Smells of BO, none of yer poovy aftershave, wears socks for 3 days at a time. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Moonster Posted February 1, 2018 Share Posted February 1, 2018 Our storeman had a rather wonderful meltdown yesterday. About an hour before the shift finished he just lost the plot, marched into the office muttering swear words and saying he'd "had enough". He was trying to take his high vis vest off in a rage and the Velcro kept getting stuck leading to him basically pulling it over his head, throwing it at his desk and shouting "f**k OFF". He stormed out of the office and straight out the front door. His desk is pretty much joined to my boss' desk and he sat watching the entire meltdown without saying a word. My boss isn't actually his boss, but I found it hilarious the way my boss just stared at him as he was going tonto. We all expected that was the end of him but he came in this morning and clocked in at 9am and is carrying on with his job as if nothing happened. My respect for him has grown somewhat. 8 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
D.A.F.C Posted February 1, 2018 Share Posted February 1, 2018 What happened did someone ask him to do his job? That really annoys storesmen I find. My current bugbear is that part of my job requires filling in spreadsheets and if there's an error it can be a problem. Myself and dozens of others have suggested to use simple data validation and/or conditional formatting but we get hit with red tape every time or told if you can't fucking do it right you shouldn't be here?! Everyone keeps making errors and it's a huge waste of company money and resources. Sometimes I feel like screaming when I get told I've missed a point or filled in the wrong detail due to formatting or copying and pasting. Is that not the entire point of excel? To help with shit like this? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Moonster Posted February 2, 2018 Share Posted February 2, 2018 9 hours ago, D.A.F.C said: What happened did someone ask him to do his job? That really annoys storesmen I find. There's two sides to the story, his side is that a woman in the office told him she didn't give a f**k about what work was left to do, so he took the line of "if you don't give a f**k then I don't give a f**k" and after a long and busy day he wasn't for sticking around to discuss things. Her side is that the storeman inexplicably went off on one after an innocuous comment. The woman has previous for causing a bit of friction in here so I'm inclined to believe the storeman. I do agree though, I find storemen are usually a bit of a lottery. Sometimes you could ask them to do something and they'll do it no problem and maybe even make a wee joke, other times it's as if you've asked him to complete 8 Mensa tests in 15 minutes whilst fingering his own mother. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rugster Posted February 2, 2018 Share Posted February 2, 2018 9 hours ago, D.A.F.C said: What happened did someone ask him to do his job? That really annoys storesmen I find. My current bugbear is that part of my job requires filling in spreadsheets and if there's an error it can be a problem. Myself and dozens of others have suggested to use simple data validation and/or conditional formatting but we get hit with red tape every time or told if you can't fucking do it right you shouldn't be here?! Everyone keeps making errors and it's a huge waste of company money and resources. Sometimes I feel like screaming when I get told I've missed a point or filled in the wrong detail due to formatting or copying and pasting. Is that not the entire point of excel? To help with shit like this? First line, slags storemen off who moan about being asked to do their job. Second paragraph, rants about being asked to do his job. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NJ2 Posted February 2, 2018 Share Posted February 2, 2018 First line, slags storemen off who moan about being asked to do their job. Second paragraph, rants about being asked to do his job. Also admits to being shite at his job and making lots of mistakes. Should get the storeman to fill in his wee spreadsheets 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
D.A.F.C Posted February 2, 2018 Share Posted February 2, 2018 Shut it 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Boghead ranter Posted February 2, 2018 Share Posted February 2, 2018 2 minutes ago, D.A.F.C said: Shut it Save Changes? Y/N 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
D.A.F.C Posted February 2, 2018 Share Posted February 2, 2018 You shut it also 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BFTD Posted February 2, 2018 Share Posted February 2, 2018 12 hours ago, D.A.F.C said: What happened did someone ask him to do his job? That really annoys storesmen I find. My current bugbear is that part of my job requires filling in spreadsheets and if there's an error it can be a problem. Myself and dozens of others have suggested to use simple data validation and/or conditional formatting but we get hit with red tape every time or told if you can't fucking do it right you shouldn't be here?! Everyone keeps making errors and it's a huge waste of company money and resources. Sometimes I feel like screaming when I get told I've missed a point or filled in the wrong detail due to formatting or copying and pasting. Is that not the entire point of excel? To help with shit like this? Lack of data validation rips my knitting, considering how easy it usually is to implement. You'll find plenty of step-by-step articles online about how to ensure most common data types are stored and retrieved in the same format, so it's hard to take it as anything other than a 'V' sign to the users. At one of the places I work, looking up customers by postcode is a wee adventure. Is it SA99 1AA? sa991aa? sa99 1AA? Who knows, but you'll have lots of fun typing them all in to find out. Oh, but we're not too lazy to block you from using Facebook and Twitter, despite it being necessary for work, along with any other website that you haven't specifically asked to view 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MONKMAN Posted February 2, 2018 Share Posted February 2, 2018 Should get the storeman to fill in his wee spreadsheets He’ll maybe cover your unpaid shifts at work as well. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NJ2 Posted February 2, 2018 Share Posted February 2, 2018 He’ll maybe cover your unpaid shifts at work as well. Sounds good to me! Send him my way. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Poet of the Macabre Posted February 2, 2018 Share Posted February 2, 2018 ^^^ doesn't realise everyone at his work talks about him behind his back 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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