Sergeant Wilson Posted February 6, 2019 Share Posted February 6, 2019 4 hours ago, NewBornBairn said: In 2003(?) I was desperate for a job so went for an interview with CR Smith. All day, I killed customers... I suppose this counts as a terrible job I never had. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
19QOS19 Posted February 6, 2019 Share Posted February 6, 2019 You definitely have to have some sociopathic traits to make a good salesman; particularly a window salesman where you're doing it face to face. We had a guy round a few months back. He came to the door and I said he could give me a quote (for windows we're wanting when these ones are done) but I wouldn't be buying them any time soon as ours are relatively new. The guy went around the house and came in to say they never needed replaced as they were all fine. We got talking and I questioned why he wasn't giving me the patter. He sat with me for about 45 minutes saying how much he hated the job and that they were all crooks. The best salesmen were (obviously) cocks and he questioned if they had a conscience. He told me when I did get around to purchasing new windows to never accept the quote the first or second time as they have a 60% markup so can always keep coming down. He finished by asking how he could go about getting a job like mine [emoji38] Must have been the nicest window salesman in the world but it was clear he was too nice for the industry. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Estragon Posted February 6, 2019 Share Posted February 6, 2019 A crooked window salesman attempted to con me once, but I saw right through it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Newbornbairn Posted February 6, 2019 Share Posted February 6, 2019 I'm a salesman Anybody can sell anything once, be it a car, windows, a house, whatever. The trick is getting them to buy from you every month, time and again for years on end. You don't keep customers like that by pressuring them, lying to them or fucking them about. I sell into industry and I'm dealing in the main with middle aged working class men who can see through bullshit a mile away. Most of my job is management tbh. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gaz FFC Posted February 6, 2019 Share Posted February 6, 2019 1 hour ago, 19QOS19 said: Must have been the nicest window salesman in the world but it was clear he was too nice for the industry. Pun intended? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Steve_Wilkos Posted February 6, 2019 Share Posted February 6, 2019 I was made redundant in June last year, thankfully got a job in what I do (for better pay and closer to home, yes lads) by August. In the meantime, I worked nights at a fish factory in Hartlepool. That was pretty grim, but quite funny at the same time. Including when a giant halibut was slid from one end of the factory to the other while being mopped like a curling stone. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dee Man Posted February 6, 2019 Share Posted February 6, 2019 2 hours ago, Estragon said: A crooked window salesman attempted to con me once, but I saw right through it. I hope we hammer you lot tonight for that shite joke even more than for the points. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cerberus Posted February 6, 2019 Share Posted February 6, 2019 56 minutes ago, Steve_Wilkos said: I was made redundant in June last year, thankfully got a job in what I do (for better pay and closer to home, yes lads) by August. In the meantime, I worked nights at a fish factory in Hartlepool. That was pretty grim, but quite funny at the same time. Including when a giant halibut was slid from one end of the factory to the other while being mopped like a curling stone. That's how my ex used to move around the house. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scary Bear Posted February 7, 2019 Share Posted February 7, 2019 22 hours ago, mathematics said: It is scandalous what some of the sales reps would do for a sale. If only there were loads of sexy female double glazing sales reps. ...that sounds like a business idea right there! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scary Bear Posted February 7, 2019 Share Posted February 7, 2019 On 15/09/2018 at 07:53, Sergeant Wilson said: The best part is how he retained his dignity by walking out. All morning I killed cows. Difficult to top that. I know flogging double glazing is probably the last job you have before you take your own life, but still, the cow killing story is much more memorable. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Moonster Posted February 7, 2019 Share Posted February 7, 2019 I've always thought "All morning I killed cows" would be a great name for an album/song. Let's write a P&B number 1. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gaz FFC Posted February 7, 2019 Share Posted February 7, 2019 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jacksgranda Posted February 7, 2019 Share Posted February 7, 2019 15 minutes ago, The Moonster said: I've always thought "All morning I killed cows" would be a great name for an album/song. Let's write a P&B number 1. https://www.bing.com/videos/search?q=cows+with+guns+youtube&view=detail&mid=F765C9C901B36CACCB80F765C9C901B36CACCB80&FORM=VIRE Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Melanius Mullarkey Posted February 7, 2019 Share Posted February 7, 2019 Walkers shortbread factory, Aberlour. One shift consisted of sticking "Made in England" stickers on boxes of Duchy Original biscuits which had just came out of the oven. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
I'm Brian Posted February 7, 2019 Share Posted February 7, 2019 Never really had a terrible job as such in adult life. Always found that it is the fuckers above that make it bad. The work itself is never the problem Couple of paper runs and eight weeks in Burger King as a sixteen y.o. Burger King supplied me with £1.66 an hour. Happy days. The two worst jobs that people I have known have had were: A guy who claimed he wanked turkeys collecting semen samples. He seemed to enjoy it and if you had met the guy you probably could have guessed that this was his job Another who scraped mould from 20kg blocks of cheese in a freezing cold room. Soul destroying stuff Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ross. Posted February 7, 2019 Share Posted February 7, 2019 Worked on the packaging line at McKechnie Jess for a year or so while at college. Spent 5pm-9pm Monday to Friday putting frozen sausages and burgers into bags, and the bags into boxes. Fucking grim but it was a decent enough laugh at times. Done door to door sales for one day when I was at uni. Answered an advert for an admin job which turned out to be something completely different. Didn't bother calling them the next day to say I wouldn't be back. An afternoon going door to door on Duke St trying to get people to donate money to the SSPCA was too much contact with them as it was. Worked with the Clydesdale Bank for a while, first selling personal loans in their call centre, then worked in a couple of branches on the south side. Whole thing was soul destroying and it came as absolutely no surprise when they got fucked for mis-selling PPI. Their original sales training was based around adding that into the deal without really confirming that it was there. They also lost a fortune selling structured notes to people on the basis that any question you were asked by a customer should be answered with"The stock market never goes down". Their big push on these products was in 2007... Current job can be mind numbingly boring at times. Today for example, I am having to disclose the underlying beneficial owners of a Russian bond to the Russian regulator. This, unfortunately for me, means copying and pasting over 400 names and addresses from one system to another, single line by single line, and will take another few hours to finish. Other days I find the stuff we are dealing with interesting as f**k, like a recent case where we had a client buy a stock in Germany, which he immediately sold in Spain for something like 3x the price. Turned out there were serious regulatory issues with the company which made it nigh on impossible to transfer the shares into the Spanish market, hence the massive mark up on stock that was there. It was quite fun watching the senior management in clearing work their way around this so we could deliver out and settle the trade. Generally though, I'm just happy with what they pay me, the stupid fucks. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Newbornbairn Posted February 7, 2019 Share Posted February 7, 2019 16 minutes ago, I'm Brian said: Never really had a terrible job as such in adult life. Always found that it is the fuckers above that make it bad. The work itself is never the problem Couple of paper runs and eight weeks in Burger King as a sixteen y.o. Burger King supplied me with £1.66 an hour. Happy days. The two worst jobs that people I have known have had were: A guy who claimed he wanked turkeys collecting semen samples. He seemed to enjoy it and if you had met the guy you probably could have guessed that this was his job Another who scraped mould from 20kg blocks of cheese in a freezing cold room. Soul destroying stuff "All morning I wanked turkeys" wins Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rugster Posted February 7, 2019 Share Posted February 7, 2019 Just now, NewBornBairn said: "All morning I wanked turkeys" wins Nah, the Turkeys were having a good time. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ross. Posted February 7, 2019 Share Posted February 7, 2019 2 minutes ago, MixuFixit said: Do they not teach regex in finance courses? You'd think there would be something in place which would allow us to pop in an ISIN, hit search, then export the results, but for various reasons the systems that are involved here are behind Chinese Walls, so the relevant databases are not linked, hence the horrendously time consuming manual work around. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dindeleux Posted February 7, 2019 Share Posted February 7, 2019 1 minute ago, MixuFixit said: I managed about a week doing chugging Sounds class to be honest. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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