tamthebam Posted February 24, 2018 Share Posted February 24, 2018 If this fashion for wetwipes engulfs P&B users will Bobbyskidmarks have to change his name? 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Busta Nut Posted February 24, 2018 Share Posted February 24, 2018 i have done this before, will get back into it. I want to be a hipster arsehole. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scary Bear Posted February 24, 2018 Author Share Posted February 24, 2018 On 22/02/2018 at 08:17, Bairnardo said: What other part of the body, if it got covered in human excrement, would you deem acceptable to clean with only some thin paper? Why is that good enough for your arsehole? Government funded retrofit of bidets in all UK homes which contain at least one shiting adult IMO is the only way to solve this. Hopefully a right-minded political party picks up on this idea. I hope they also have a manifesto which includes punishing, financially crippling fines, for those ignorant people who flush wipes down the toilet, rather than putting them in a bin, as advised by Scottish Water. Education on good bottom health and how to clean your bottom, would also be good. Particular attention is needed in Ayrshire, which is surely Scotland’s very own Helmand Province in it’s flagrant rule-breaking lawlessness, with regards to disposal of things you have wiped your arse on. Telling people alone may not be enough, these people obviously need classes in what they can and can’t flush down a toilet. Educator: “now class, toilet paper, pee-pee and poo only” Sub-normal Ayrshire oaf: “what about wipes?” Educator: “No Billy, not wipes.” Sub-normal Ayrshire oaf: “I’LL DO WHIT I LIKE!!!!1111!!! I will be writing to the Health Minister and Environment Minister on this theme and demanding action. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Honest_Man#1 Posted February 24, 2018 Share Posted February 24, 2018 8 hours ago, Busta Nut said: i have done this before, will get back into it. I want to actually clean my arsehole. Good man. 1 hour ago, Scary Bear said: Hopefully a right-minded political party picks up on this idea. I hope they also have a manifesto which includes punishing, financially crippling fines, for those ignorant people who flush wipes down the toilet, rather than putting them in a bin, as advised by Scottish Water. Education on good bottom health and how to clean your bottom, would also be good. Particular attention is needed in Ayrshire, which is surely Scotland’s very own Helmand Province in it’s flagrant rule-breaking lawlessness, with regards to disposal of things you have wiped your arse on. Telling people alone may not be enough, these people obviously need classes in what they can and can’t flush down a toilet. Educator: “now class, toilet paper, pee-pee and poo only” Sub-normal Ayrshire oaf: “what about wipes?” Educator: “No Billy, not wipes.” Sub-normal Ayrshire oaf: “I’LL DO WHIT I LIKE!!!!1111!!! I will be writing to the Health Minister and Environment Minister on this theme and demanding action. You have a very bizarre, and disgusting, strong stance against properly cleaning your arse. Why are you so attached to smelling like shite? 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Adam Posted February 24, 2018 Share Posted February 24, 2018 Why are you so attached to smelling like shite? Howling at this line [emoji23] 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scary Bear Posted February 24, 2018 Author Share Posted February 24, 2018 3 hours ago, Honest_Man#1 said: Good man. You have a very bizarre, and disgusting, strong stance against properly cleaning your arse. Why are you so attached to smelling like shite? I have one shite a day. Then I shave. Then I shower. My body is a temple, and regular as clockwork. Why would I need to wipe my arse with wet wipes like some manchild? If I was unfortunate enough to have poor control of my bowels, and I did have to use wipes, I would dispose of them in a suitable manner, instead of being an anti-social idiot and flushing them down the toilet. That’s just how I roll. I am great. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bairnardo Posted February 24, 2018 Share Posted February 24, 2018 If you got shit on your arm/leg/head/hands/feet would tissie paper be sufficient to clean it any go on about your business? 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jagfox Posted February 24, 2018 Share Posted February 24, 2018 Washlets not Guns! 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rugster Posted February 24, 2018 Share Posted February 24, 2018 2 hours ago, G_Man1985 said: 23 hours ago, Rugster said: Tried it this morning. Impressed. Are you allowed to do this on the house or the gaffer have you telt ? I've got her telt. It's continuing. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
heedthebaa Posted February 24, 2018 Share Posted February 24, 2018 6 hours ago, Bairnardo said: If you got shit on your arm/leg/head/hands/feet would tissie paper be sufficient to clean it any go on about your business? If a wet wipe is good enough to clean our children’s bot bots, they’re good enough for mine. I bet these manky dry wipers don’t even wash their hands after 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jagfox Posted February 24, 2018 Share Posted February 24, 2018 Game-changer. A bit bagged up after last night's excesses and two steak pies at NDP today decided to go for a curry with my mate rather than risk another ten pint sesh. Toilet was lowly stocked on loo roll so went to local Tesco with mind of getting 40 pack of washlets... In Tesco 12 packs 3 for 2 pound five a whip. No more worries. Slip into your inside left pocket for any occasion. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Melanius Mullarkey Posted February 24, 2018 Share Posted February 24, 2018 27 minutes ago, heedthebaa said: our children’s bot bots, 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gaz Posted February 24, 2018 Share Posted February 24, 2018 I mind the day when I discovered that some reprobates wipe their arse while they’re still sitting on the pan. f**k’s sake. -3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rugster Posted February 24, 2018 Share Posted February 24, 2018 1 hour ago, Gaz said: I mind the day when I discovered that some reprobates wipe their arse while they’re still sitting on the pan. f**k’s sake. Was that the same day you discovered you were an utter deviant for wiping whilst standing up? 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dunning1874 Posted February 24, 2018 Share Posted February 24, 2018 8 hours ago, Scary Bear said: I have one shite a day. Then I shave. Then I shower. My body is a temple, and regular as clockwork. Anyone who takes one shite a day at the exact same time is an absolute creep. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gaz Posted February 24, 2018 Share Posted February 24, 2018 16 minutes ago, Rugster said: Was that the same day you discovered you were an utter deviant for wiping whilst standing up? Ridiculous. Although not as ridiculous as the day I told my mum and dad this fact and they both slagged me for wiping my arse standing up. Eh, who taught me how to do that, eh? 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Miguel Sanchez Posted February 24, 2018 Share Posted February 24, 2018 Absolutely no surprise to see one of the Gavs wipes his arse standing up. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Honest_Man#1 Posted February 24, 2018 Share Posted February 24, 2018 2 hours ago, Gaz said: I mind the day when I discovered that some reprobates wipe their arse while they’re still sitting on the pan. f**k’s sake. Why did you have to go and sully all the good work done by the wet wipers on this thread by announcing you are a deviant. f**k sake. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scary Bear Posted February 25, 2018 Author Share Posted February 25, 2018 10 hours ago, Dunning1874 said: Anyone who takes one shite a day at the exact same time is an absolute creep. I would imagine that’s fairly standard for anyone with a work routine and control of their bowel movements. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dunning1874 Posted February 25, 2018 Share Posted February 25, 2018 40 minutes ago, Scary Bear said: I would imagine that’s fairly standard for anyone with a work routine and control of their bowel movements. I imagine people who have no deviation from that routine whatsoever live their lives like Harvey and Val Denton while carrying around a diary cataloguing the details of each of those regimented daily shites, a routine which can never possibly change because you're too strange or dull to ever eat something different or deviate from your tedious daily routine in any aspect of your life. This would also explain your interest in and slavish devotion to Scottish Water's stance on wet wipes. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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