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Stories from the Courts


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An old workmate told me this one about a guy he knew.

The said guy was in the dock once again for petty theft to feed his alcohol addiction. During sentencing the judge said “on this occasion Mr McGaughey I have no option but to pass a custodial sentence, you will go to prison for 3 months”!! Mr McGauchey gave this news a few seconds thought and replied “3 months.......I could do that standing on ma heid” to which the judge replied “CONTEMPT OF COURT !! try doing 6 months standing on your feet !! Take him down”!!

True story apparently

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So, is Itzdrk going with the girlfriend of QLP, who posted on his account on here, when he was getting pelters? She said he had mental health issues or something.
That's the fraud case, she didn't actually post and he got done for it
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1 hour ago, kleinfaethetoon said:

An old workmate told me this one about a guy he knew.

The said guy was in the dock once again for petty theft to feed his alcohol addiction. During sentencing the judge said “on this occasion Mr McGaughey I have no option but to pass a custodial sentence, you will go to prison for 3 months”!! Mr McGauchey gave this news a few seconds thought and replied “3 months.......I could do that standing on ma heid” to which the judge replied “CONTEMPT OF COURT !! try doing 6 months standing on your feet !! Take him down”!!

True story apparently

Probably is true.

once went to see an old mate of mine who was in court for the umpteenth time. He told the judge that he would do his sentence standing on his head also. Think it was a common statement from prisoners back in the day.

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23 hours ago, JamieStevenson said:

Made by Derek of course. Sad that he's stooped so low.

Probably worth keeping an eye on the handle though, just in case of lulz.

Its like only having to throw in a couple of chips to see the river. Low outlay, and there's always the potential to pick.up a free pot if the parody results in a meltdown from QLP.

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6 hours ago, milton75 said:

Probably worth keeping an eye on the handle though, just in case of lulz.

Its like only having to throw in a couple of chips to see the river. Low outlay, and there's always the potential to pick.up a free pot if the parody results in a meltdown from QLP.

I've read this post four times now and I've got no idea what it means. Can someone interpret it for me please.

Thank you.

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I've read this post four times now and I've got no idea what it means. Can someone interpret it for me please.
Thank you.


Ducks like chips, Bullet's starving so he's going to run down and eat the ducks and one of the two guys is going to pump him while he's distracted eating ducks. I think.
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