Jump to content

Things we'd do for our kids


Recommended Posts

We live in a false world.   A world where people talk a good game.   A world where folk would rather post on Instagram than visit their Gran.   

There's a woman in my work who likes to tell everyone she'd do anything for her cherubic daughter, but she's off to Malta again and her fat child's back to her grans.   

Got me thinking this:   What would I do for my children?   


Q1.  Pay for private schooling?     Yes, I can afford it and if it helps their education and frees up time for me.    
Q2.  Move house for a better school catchment?   No, doesn't matter to me.  See answer 1.     
Q3.  Donate a Kidney?   Yes, I've got two crackers!  
Q4.  Donate part of my Liver?    No.  
Q5.  Take them out for driving lessons?   No.   It's my car.  
Q6.   Help them buy their first flat?     No.   
Q7.  Miss a cup final to attend a school show?    Yes,  family comes first.  
Q8.  Give mouth-to-mouth if its your daughter?   Yes 
Q9.  Give mouth-to-mouth if its your son?   Hell Yeah it's 2018!  
Q10.  Buy  them bevy for a party?    Son yes, daughter no.   

Link to comment
Share on other sites

12 minutes ago, The new Kia Ceed said:

We live in a false world.   A world where people talk a good game.   A world where folk would rather post on Instagram than visit their Gran.   

There's a woman in my work who likes to tell everyone she'd do anything for her cherubic daughter, but she's off to Malta again and her fat child's back to her grans.   

Got me thinking this:   What would I do for my children?   


Q1.  Pay for private schooling?     Yes, I can afford it and if it helps their education and frees up time for me.    
Q2.  Move house for a better school catchment?   No, doesn't matter to me.  See answer 1.     
Q3.  Donate a Kidney?   Yes, I've got two crackers!  
Q4.  Donate part of my Liver?    No.  
Q5.  Take them out for driving lessons?   No.   It's my car.  
Q6.   Help them buy their first flat?     No.   
Q7.  Miss a cup final to attend a school show?    Yes,  family comes first.  
Q8.  Give mouth-to-mouth if its your daughter?   Yes 
Q9.  Give mouth-to-mouth if its your son?   Hell Yeah it's 2018!  
Q10.  Buy  them bevy for a party?    Son yes, daughter no.   

What about a kidney though?

Link to comment
Share on other sites

11 minutes ago, 54_and_counting said:

Stick number 7 right up your arse, any muppet school that organises shows for saturdays or the occasional wed night in may deserves a fucking no show from all male parents 

You won't need to worry about Wed night Champions league European football.   

My team: Rangers.  

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I had a teacher who deeply regretted putting her kids through private school. The syllabus was the same and they didn’t get as much life experience dealing with the problems us ‘regular’ school kids did, in her opinion.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

21 hours ago, The new Kia Ceed said:

We live in a false world.   A world where people talk a good game.   A world where folk would rather post on Instagram than visit their Gran.   

There's a woman in my work who likes to tell everyone she'd do anything for her cherubic daughter, but she's off to Malta again and her fat child's back to her grans.   

Got me thinking this:   What would I do for my children?   


Q1.  Pay for private schooling?     Yes, I can afford it and if it helps their education and frees up time for me.    
Q2.  Move house for a better school catchment?   No, doesn't matter to me.  See answer 1.     
Q3.  Donate a Kidney?   Yes, I've got two crackers!  
Q4.  Donate part of my Liver?    No.  
Q5.  Take them out for driving lessons?   No.   It's my car.  
Q6.   Help them buy their first flat?     No.   
Q7.  Miss a cup final to attend a school show?    Yes,  family comes first.  
Q8.  Give mouth-to-mouth if its your daughter?   Yes 
Q9.  Give mouth-to-mouth if its your son?   Hell Yeah it's 2018!  
Q10.  Buy  them bevy for a party?    Son yes, daughter no.   

I feel this is your worst post of all time, not even partridge-esque. 

It's time to hang up the #Kia keys and be happy

Link to comment
Share on other sites

2 hours ago, JJ Fae The YY said:

I feel this is your worst post of all time, not even partridge-esque. 

It's time to hang up the #Kia keys and be happy

Thanks for taking time to post feedback - JJ Fae The YY.     Revisiting posts is vital to achieve ones posting goals and improve as a person and a forum member.  

A great friend of mine who's still dead once told me:  "It's easy to summit a mountain, walking the everlasting ridge is the measure of you"  and I see this in many P & B posters who strike a chord initially then diminish returns.     I don't want to be like this.   I want to be like Gary Barlow or David Dickinson or Benjamin Button.    I want to be the poster who's influenced content throughout 3 decades, but has improved with time.    I want to host a 2020 NY party at my #westernPerthshire adobe which has 2 trees which are taller than the highest point of my double chimney  and invite every single member of P & B except @Unleash The Nade  -because he's mentally unstable and could cause hospitalisation - for a ruddy good knees up!   

Excellent user name btw.    

Link to comment
Share on other sites

1 hour ago, The new Kia Ceed said:

Thanks for taking time to post feedback - JJ Fae The YY.     Revisiting posts is vital to achieve ones posting goals and improve as a person and a forum member.  

A great friend of mine who's still dead once told me:  "It's easy to summit a mountain, walking the everlasting ridge is the measure of you"  and I see this in many P & B posters who strike a chord initially then diminish returns.     I don't want to be like this.   I want to be like Gary Barlow or David Dickinson or Benjamin Button.    I want to be the poster who's influenced content throughout 3 decades, but has improved with time.    I want to host a 2020 NY party at my #westernPerthshire adobe which has 2 trees which are taller than the highest point of my double chimney  and invite every single member of P & B except @Unleash The Nade  -because he's mentally unstable and could cause hospitalisation - for a ruddy good knees up!   

Excellent user name btw.    

You are a truly excellent human and I would be happy to "shoot the shit" over a businessman's lunch anytime

 

Edit- @Unleash The Nade is a very temporamental individual who I imagine works in a 24hr garage and enjoys Ginsters (horrible) microwave range

 

What is your opinion on the fast food market out of interest?

Link to comment
Share on other sites

9 minutes ago, JJ Fae The YY said:

You are a truly excellent human and I would be happy to "shoot the shit" over a businessman's lunch anytime

 

Edit- @Unleash The Nade is a very temporamental individual who I imagine works in a 24hr garage and enjoys Ginsters (horrible) microwave range

 

What is your opinion on the fast food market out of interest?

It's a market which interests me during motoring hours.    

The Balhadie south Little Chef can rot in hell for all I care.   Sure I was out of order but an outright ban?    

The M9 is my usual route home from our terrible capital city.    Everytime I see those metal horses I see missed opportunity.     Imagine how good it would feel to leave the westbound M9 offslip to curve into a freshly tarmacked Brewers fare featuring the darkest tarmac and chipped swing-park.     Sure it's hit 'n' miss but I want it to be my choice. 

It's the rise  the ruddy Green party which is doing this.    

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I don't have any kids but I'd teach them how to ride a bicycle properly. Things like not riding on the pavement, using lights at night, signalling when you are turning etc. like my old man taught me. 

I'm sure they'd be eternally grateful. 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

1 minute ago, The new Kia Ceed said:

It's a market which interests me during motoring hours.    

The Balhadie south Little Chef can rot in hell for all I care.   Sure I was out of order but an outright ban?    

The M9 is my usual route home from our terrible capital city.    Everytime I see those metal horses I see missed opportunity.     Imagine how good it would feel to leave the westbound M9 offslip to curve into a freshly tarmacked Brewers fare featuring the darkest tarmac and chipped swing-park.     Sure it's hit 'n' miss but I want it to be my choice. 

It's the rise  the ruddy Green party which is doing this.    

I totally agree, the Kelpies is Scotland's holocaust 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Archived

This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.

  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    • No registered users viewing this page.
×
×
  • Create New...