The new Kia Ceed Posted September 24, 2018 Share Posted September 24, 2018 We live in a false world. A world where people talk a good game. A world where folk would rather post on Instagram than visit their Gran. There's a woman in my work who likes to tell everyone she'd do anything for her cherubic daughter, but she's off to Malta again and her fat child's back to her grans. Got me thinking this: What would I do for my children? Q1. Pay for private schooling? Yes, I can afford it and if it helps their education and frees up time for me. Q2. Move house for a better school catchment? No, doesn't matter to me. See answer 1. Q3. Donate a Kidney? Yes, I've got two crackers! Q4. Donate part of my Liver? No. Q5. Take them out for driving lessons? No. It's my car. Q6. Help them buy their first flat? No. Q7. Miss a cup final to attend a school show? Yes, family comes first. Q8. Give mouth-to-mouth if its your daughter? Yes Q9. Give mouth-to-mouth if its your son? Hell Yeah it's 2018! Q10. Buy them bevy for a party? Son yes, daughter no. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Highland Capital Posted September 24, 2018 Share Posted September 24, 2018 Give threads titles that make sense? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zen Archer (Raconteur) Posted September 24, 2018 Share Posted September 24, 2018 12 minutes ago, The new Kia Ceed said: We live in a false world. A world where people talk a good game. A world where folk would rather post on Instagram than visit their Gran. There's a woman in my work who likes to tell everyone she'd do anything for her cherubic daughter, but she's off to Malta again and her fat child's back to her grans. Got me thinking this: What would I do for my children? Q1. Pay for private schooling? Yes, I can afford it and if it helps their education and frees up time for me. Q2. Move house for a better school catchment? No, doesn't matter to me. See answer 1. Q3. Donate a Kidney? Yes, I've got two crackers! Q4. Donate part of my Liver? No. Q5. Take them out for driving lessons? No. It's my car. Q6. Help them buy their first flat? No. Q7. Miss a cup final to attend a school show? Yes, family comes first. Q8. Give mouth-to-mouth if its your daughter? Yes Q9. Give mouth-to-mouth if its your son? Hell Yeah it's 2018! Q10. Buy them bevy for a party? Son yes, daughter no. What about a kidney though? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Barry Ferguson's Hat Posted September 24, 2018 Share Posted September 24, 2018 Quavers diet - yes Move out of #perthshire - no Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The new Kia Ceed Posted September 24, 2018 Author Share Posted September 24, 2018 9 minutes ago, Zen Archer said: What about a kidney though? That's great humour, Zen. Really cheered me up after a rough Wednesday. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
54_and_counting Posted September 24, 2018 Share Posted September 24, 2018 Stick number 7 right up your arse, any muppet school that organises shows for saturdays or the occasional wed night in may deserves a fucking no show from all male parents Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The new Kia Ceed Posted September 24, 2018 Author Share Posted September 24, 2018 11 minutes ago, 54_and_counting said: Stick number 7 right up your arse, any muppet school that organises shows for saturdays or the occasional wed night in may deserves a fucking no show from all male parents You won't need to worry about Wed night Champions league European football. My team: Rangers. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Richey Edwards Posted September 25, 2018 Share Posted September 25, 2018 My parents paid for private education for my older sister. Now she cuts hair for a living. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NJ2 Posted September 25, 2018 Share Posted September 25, 2018 I had a teacher who deeply regretted putting her kids through private school. The syllabus was the same and they didn’t get as much life experience dealing with the problems us ‘regular’ school kids did, in her opinion. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
StoneStacker Posted September 25, 2018 Share Posted September 25, 2018 Reduce a roll n crispy pancake to only 3 nights a week for dinner. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Granny Danger Posted September 25, 2018 Share Posted September 25, 2018 I usually buy my sons’ STs for Tannadice but this year they bounced together and bought mine. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
coprolite Posted September 25, 2018 Share Posted September 25, 2018 I go to work to get money to buy stuff and put up with their mother’s shite. That’s plenty. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gav-ffc Posted September 25, 2018 Share Posted September 25, 2018 Work my arse off and shag her maw. What else do you need to do? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JJ Fae The YY Posted September 25, 2018 Share Posted September 25, 2018 21 hours ago, The new Kia Ceed said: We live in a false world. A world where people talk a good game. A world where folk would rather post on Instagram than visit their Gran. There's a woman in my work who likes to tell everyone she'd do anything for her cherubic daughter, but she's off to Malta again and her fat child's back to her grans. Got me thinking this: What would I do for my children? Q1. Pay for private schooling? Yes, I can afford it and if it helps their education and frees up time for me. Q2. Move house for a better school catchment? No, doesn't matter to me. See answer 1. Q3. Donate a Kidney? Yes, I've got two crackers! Q4. Donate part of my Liver? No. Q5. Take them out for driving lessons? No. It's my car. Q6. Help them buy their first flat? No. Q7. Miss a cup final to attend a school show? Yes, family comes first. Q8. Give mouth-to-mouth if its your daughter? Yes Q9. Give mouth-to-mouth if its your son? Hell Yeah it's 2018! Q10. Buy them bevy for a party? Son yes, daughter no. I feel this is your worst post of all time, not even partridge-esque. It's time to hang up the #Kia keys and be happy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Melanius Mullarkey Posted September 25, 2018 Share Posted September 25, 2018 16 minutes ago, gav-ffc said: Work my arse off and shag her maw. What else do you need to do? Don’t get those mixed up! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The new Kia Ceed Posted September 25, 2018 Author Share Posted September 25, 2018 2 hours ago, JJ Fae The YY said: I feel this is your worst post of all time, not even partridge-esque. It's time to hang up the #Kia keys and be happy Thanks for taking time to post feedback - JJ Fae The YY. Revisiting posts is vital to achieve ones posting goals and improve as a person and a forum member. A great friend of mine who's still dead once told me: "It's easy to summit a mountain, walking the everlasting ridge is the measure of you" and I see this in many P & B posters who strike a chord initially then diminish returns. I don't want to be like this. I want to be like Gary Barlow or David Dickinson or Benjamin Button. I want to be the poster who's influenced content throughout 3 decades, but has improved with time. I want to host a 2020 NY party at my #westernPerthshire adobe which has 2 trees which are taller than the highest point of my double chimney and invite every single member of P & B except @Unleash The Nade -because he's mentally unstable and could cause hospitalisation - for a ruddy good knees up! Excellent user name btw. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JJ Fae The YY Posted September 25, 2018 Share Posted September 25, 2018 1 hour ago, The new Kia Ceed said: Thanks for taking time to post feedback - JJ Fae The YY. Revisiting posts is vital to achieve ones posting goals and improve as a person and a forum member. A great friend of mine who's still dead once told me: "It's easy to summit a mountain, walking the everlasting ridge is the measure of you" and I see this in many P & B posters who strike a chord initially then diminish returns. I don't want to be like this. I want to be like Gary Barlow or David Dickinson or Benjamin Button. I want to be the poster who's influenced content throughout 3 decades, but has improved with time. I want to host a 2020 NY party at my #westernPerthshire adobe which has 2 trees which are taller than the highest point of my double chimney and invite every single member of P & B except @Unleash The Nade -because he's mentally unstable and could cause hospitalisation - for a ruddy good knees up! Excellent user name btw. You are a truly excellent human and I would be happy to "shoot the shit" over a businessman's lunch anytime Edit- @Unleash The Nade is a very temporamental individual who I imagine works in a 24hr garage and enjoys Ginsters (horrible) microwave range What is your opinion on the fast food market out of interest? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The new Kia Ceed Posted September 25, 2018 Author Share Posted September 25, 2018 9 minutes ago, JJ Fae The YY said: You are a truly excellent human and I would be happy to "shoot the shit" over a businessman's lunch anytime Edit- @Unleash The Nade is a very temporamental individual who I imagine works in a 24hr garage and enjoys Ginsters (horrible) microwave range What is your opinion on the fast food market out of interest? It's a market which interests me during motoring hours. The Balhadie south Little Chef can rot in hell for all I care. Sure I was out of order but an outright ban? The M9 is my usual route home from our terrible capital city. Everytime I see those metal horses I see missed opportunity. Imagine how good it would feel to leave the westbound M9 offslip to curve into a freshly tarmacked Brewers fare featuring the darkest tarmac and chipped swing-park. Sure it's hit 'n' miss but I want it to be my choice. It's the rise the ruddy Green party which is doing this. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tamthebam Posted September 25, 2018 Share Posted September 25, 2018 I don't have any kids but I'd teach them how to ride a bicycle properly. Things like not riding on the pavement, using lights at night, signalling when you are turning etc. like my old man taught me. I'm sure they'd be eternally grateful. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JJ Fae The YY Posted September 25, 2018 Share Posted September 25, 2018 1 minute ago, The new Kia Ceed said: It's a market which interests me during motoring hours. The Balhadie south Little Chef can rot in hell for all I care. Sure I was out of order but an outright ban? The M9 is my usual route home from our terrible capital city. Everytime I see those metal horses I see missed opportunity. Imagine how good it would feel to leave the westbound M9 offslip to curve into a freshly tarmacked Brewers fare featuring the darkest tarmac and chipped swing-park. Sure it's hit 'n' miss but I want it to be my choice. It's the rise the ruddy Green party which is doing this. I totally agree, the Kelpies is Scotland's holocaust Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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