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April Fools


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Happy April Fools Day a'body, or as I refer to it with my cousin, "Scott Paterson to Aberdeen day".

April 2002 and we're on the march towards the First Division title and back to back promotions after a few years in the doldrums and it remains the most satisfying and meaningful league title I've experienced as a Jags fan.

Anyway. I was awoken that morning with a phone call from my cousin to tell me that we had just sold my all time favourite Jags player (and native of Peterhead) to Aberdeen for £250,000.  I was obviously  beside myself at this news and Vinny (my cousin....aye, I know), after letting me go on a bit said "look at the calendar" which I felt to be a cryptic and frankly unhelpful response. "Vinny I know we have Airdrie at the weekend, but I don't see how that helps".

So I hung up and called the club for clarification. After receiving the welcome and comforting news that we weren't, in fact, selling the greatest ball-playing centre half since Beckenbauer I, emboldened, called my cousin to tell him that he was, in fact, wrong and that I, the victor, was in possession of the truth.

Me: "So I called the club, and....."

Vinny: *immediate laughter followed by announcing  to all in his house* "he phoned the club!!!!".

I still didn't get it, but had a feeling that whatever game was being played I wasn't doing as well as I thought.

Vinny: "Check the calendar ya dafty"

I checked the calendar angrily, as I still didn't understand, until I did. My reaction was akin to the detective at the end of Usual Suspects when he gets the pic of Keyzer Soze faxed through. Vinny is a grown man with children. He tells them this story each year so it is now firmly embedded in the family mythology that cousin Velo is, as observed previously, a massive dafty.

 

I'd love to hear April Fools that you have done, or have had done to you. You can share your favourite media April Fools too. All welcome.

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41 minutes ago, velo army said:

Happy April Fools Day a'body, or as I refer to it with my cousin, "Scott Paterson to Aberdeen day".

April 2002 and we're on the march towards the First Division title and back to back promotions after a few years in the doldrums and it remains the most satisfying and meaningful league title I've experienced as a Jags fan.

Anyway. I was awoken that morning with a phone call from my cousin to tell me that we had just sold my all time favourite Jags player (and native of Peterhead) to Aberdeen for £250,000.  I was obviously  beside myself at this news and Vinny (my cousin....aye, I know), after letting me go on a bit said "look at the calendar" which I felt to be a cryptic and frankly unhelpful response. "Vinny I know we have Airdrie at the weekend, but I don't see how that helps".

So I hung up and called the club for clarification. After receiving the welcome and comforting news that we weren't, in fact, selling the greatest ball-playing centre half since Beckenbauer I, emboldened, called my cousin to tell him that he was, in fact, wrong and that I, the victor, was in possession of the truth.

Me: "So I called the club, and....."

Vinny: *immediate laughter followed by announcing  to all in his house* "he phoned the club!!!!".

I still didn't get it, but had a feeling that whatever game was being played I wasn't doing as well as I thought.

Vinny: "Check the calendar ya dafty"

I checked the calendar angrily, as I still didn't understand, until I did. My reaction was akin to the detective at the end of Usual Suspects when he gets the pic of Keyzer Soze faxed through. Vinny is a grown man with children. He tells them this story each year so it is now firmly embedded in the family mythology that cousin Velo is, as observed previously, a massive dafty.

 

I'd love to hear April Fools that you have done, or have had done to you. You can share your favourite media April Fools too. All welcome.

Have you done one in the above post ?

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Bollocks, forgot to start the annual "Ian Black seen in Morrisons Car Park" rumour.

Maybe signing Barry Ferguson ruined that one a bit, like crying wolf only for Cerberus to show up.

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8 minutes ago, Ewanandmoreagain said:

Did the policeman not realise Keyze Soze was Keyze Soze when he looked at the newspaper clippings and realised that is where he had got his stories from ?

Maybe, but I dare say that wasn't overly germane to the substance of the post. I haven't seen that film in ages, but I hope that the main thrust of the reference (the face of said detective on realising) was understood.

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1 hour ago, Ewanandmoreagain said:

Did the policeman not realise Keyze Soze was Keyze Soze when he looked at the newspaper clippings and realised that is where he had got his stories from ?

Was that why he ran out? I thought he'd just forgotten to ask Verbal to join the station barbershop quartet.

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I told my workmate today that his shoelaces were untied. I don't think I've ever laughed so hard when he looked down to discover they were in fact still tied. 

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Our ship AI once got irritated at the criticism he was getting so he pretended to be supplanted by another one, one who was very authoritarian and unpopular.

We began to regret the 'new' AI very quickly and wanted the old one back, so it was decided that a game of chess would be played and the loser would be deactivated. 

Our horror at the old AI losing and seemingly being deactivated was replaced with a degree of mirth and irritation when he revealed he'd made it all up to get back at us for questioning his intelligence and competence.

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1 hour ago, DA Baracus said:

Our ship AI once got irritated at the criticism he was getting so he pretended to be supplanted by another one, one who was very authoritarian and unpopular.

We began to regret the 'new' AI very quickly and wanted the old one back, so it was decided that a game of chess would be played and the loser would be deactivated. 

Our horror at the old AI losing and seemingly being deactivated was replaced with a degree of mirth and irritation when he revealed he'd made it all up to get back at us for questioning his intelligence and competence.

Possibly the funniest tv ever.

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2 hours ago, DA Baracus said:

Our ship AI once got irritated at the criticism he was getting so he pretended to be supplanted by another one, one who was very authoritarian and unpopular.

We began to regret the 'new' AI very quickly and wanted the old one back, so it was decided that a game of chess would be played and the loser would be deactivated. 

Our horror at the old AI losing and seemingly being deactivated was replaced with a degree of mirth and irritation when he revealed he'd made it all up to get back at us for questioning his intelligence and competence.

I hope that they made a comedy sci-fi programme about this hilarious happening.

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