1320Lichtie Posted January 30, 2017 Share Posted January 30, 2017 This is absolutely classic "oh, philpy". He's posted that up assuming everyone will join him in slating this woman, when in fact he's the one who has parked like someone out on their first lesson. Hilarious. I can just picture him tomorrow too, one of these guys that'll be going about the workshop moaning about this every time they have a coffee break..'Aye you'll never guess what happened to me last night when I came ooot the gym..!!!'Hahah 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AsimButtHitsASix Posted January 31, 2017 Share Posted January 31, 2017 New security guard at work. He's a p***k. He's in his early 50s and about 5'3" but goes on about his time in the army a lot. Was there not a minimum height at that time? Pretty sure he's talking pish. Anyway I digress. He talks at ye all the fucking time. Like, no matter what yer doing, and if he walks anywhere near ye he'll let out a loud sigh or start tutting or say "Oh deary me... Well I never" in that annoying way. He's PRETENDING to be talking out loud to himself but, really, he's hoping that you will stop whatever you're doing, turn to him, and say "What's up?" Anyway some of my favourite stories of his so far He's offered to clear away the "squatters" (a homeless guy who occasionally sleeps in an abandoned shed at the back of the hospital when it rains) with his dogs and the Trust are "thinking about it". He took his van in to get something done to it and he felt he was being shafted so he went down with his dogs and smashed up the place until the mechanic let him off with not paying. He was one of the first soldiers to march into Stanley after they'd "got rid of the Argies" and had women throwing themselves at him (but was married so never touched them). He's going to start coming into work with his old army backpack so when he does his patrols he can carry 50kg of weights with him to keep himself fit. He was a champion amateur boxer into his 40s I believe the last one (partially) to be fair. He's got the build of a boxer and his nose is bent six ways from Sunday. West Ham fan as well. Obviously. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BFTD Posted January 31, 2017 Share Posted January 31, 2017 11 hours ago, Granny Danger said: Most folk on here think I am also 33 years older than I really am. I've seen you referred to as Methuselah on here by cheeky young whippersnappers; so we they deserve some credit for getting so close, surely. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sweaty Morph Posted January 31, 2017 Share Posted January 31, 2017 This is absolutely classic "oh, philpy". He's posted that up assuming everyone will join him in slating this woman, when in fact he's the one who has parked like someone out on their first lesson. Hilarious. What gets me is if, as he says, there was a large bush on the other side of the space and he didn't want his car scratched, why didn't he just park one space over? You know, in the one he's encroached in, in the first place? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
philpy Posted January 31, 2017 Share Posted January 31, 2017 The wife wants us to go to tenants and residents meeting tonight. No thanks, can't be done with that stuff. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Swarley Posted January 31, 2017 Share Posted January 31, 2017 The wife wants us to go to tenants and residents meeting tonight. No thanks, can't be done with that stuff. Keys in the bowl type party? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Boghead ranter Posted January 31, 2017 Share Posted January 31, 2017 1 hour ago, philpy said: The wife wants us to go to tenants and residents meeting tonight. No thanks, can't be done with that stuff. Why, 'cos the parking's a nightmare? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pittsburgh phil Posted January 31, 2017 Share Posted January 31, 2017 The wife wants us to go to tenants and residents meeting tonight. No thanks, can't be done with that stuff. Take care if driving and let the other half park the motor x 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dee Man Posted January 31, 2017 Share Posted January 31, 2017 1 hour ago, Swarley said: Keys in the bowl type party? Philpy's not daft at swingers partys. Any chancer who's got any ideas of running off with his keys to nick his car is left looking rather foolish when they realise they can't get in the fucking thing. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MEADOWXI Posted January 31, 2017 Share Posted January 31, 2017 9 hours ago, AsimButtHitsASix said: New security guard at work. He's a p***k. He's in his early 50s and about 5'3" but goes on about his time in the army a lot. Was there not a minimum height at that time? Pretty sure he's talking pish. Anyway I digress. He talks at ye all the fucking time. Like, no matter what yer doing, and if he walks anywhere near ye he'll let out a loud sigh or start tutting or say "Oh deary me... Well I never" in that annoying way. He's PRETENDING to be talking out loud to himself but, really, he's hoping that you will stop whatever you're doing, turn to him, and say "What's up?" Anyway some of my favourite stories of his so far He's offered to clear away the "squatters" (a homeless guy who occasionally sleeps in an abandoned shed at the back of the hospital when it rains) with his dogs and the Trust are "thinking about it". He took his van in to get something done to it and he felt he was being shafted so he went down with his dogs and smashed up the place until the mechanic let him off with not paying. He was one of the first soldiers to march into Stanley after they'd "got rid of the Argies" and had women throwing themselves at him (but was married so never touched them). He's going to start coming into work with his old army backpack so when he does his patrols he can carry 50kg of weights with him to keep himself fit. He was a champion amateur boxer into his 40s I believe the last one (partially) to be fair. He's got the build of a boxer and his nose is bent six ways from Sunday. West Ham fan as well. Obviously. The Falklands ended 14/06/82*, 35.5 years ago. If he is say 51 would have made him 16 at the time. Married and a war hero by 16, What a lad. I once won a pub quiz as got 3 points for day month and year of the end of the Falklands War, and no-one else did (happened to be my 12th birthday and why I remember it). 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NorthernJambo Posted January 31, 2017 Share Posted January 31, 2017 New security guard at work. He's a p***k. He's in his early 50s and about 5'3" but goes on about his time in the army a lot. Was there not a minimum height at that time? Pretty sure he's talking pish. Anyway I digress. He talks at ye all the fucking time. Like, no matter what yer doing, and if he walks anywhere near ye he'll let out a loud sigh or start tutting or say "Oh deary me... Well I never" in that annoying way. He's PRETENDING to be talking out loud to himself but, really, he's hoping that you will stop whatever you're doing, turn to him, and say "What's up?" Anyway some of my favourite stories of his so far He's offered to clear away the "squatters" (a homeless guy who occasionally sleeps in an abandoned shed at the back of the hospital when it rains) with his dogs and the Trust are "thinking about it". He took his van in to get something done to it and he felt he was being shafted so he went down with his dogs and smashed up the place until the mechanic let him off with not paying. He was one of the first soldiers to march into Stanley after they'd "got rid of the Argies" and had women throwing themselves at him (but was married so never touched them). He's going to start coming into work with his old army backpack so when he does his patrols he can carry 50kg of weights with him to keep himself fit. He was a champion amateur boxer into his 40s I believe the last one (partially) to be fair. He's got the build of a boxer and his nose is bent six ways from Sunday. West Ham fan as well. Obviously. Surely the nose being next six ways from Sunday (a saying I've never heard until now btw, so credit for that) suggests he wasn't a champion? Boy sounds like a walloper. We used to have a guy come in to my old work like this, but he was forever winning large sums of money that he bought new carpets with. Boy supposedly bought a new carpet every other week if his pish was true. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ya Bezzer! Posted January 31, 2017 Share Posted January 31, 2017 (edited) When you want to see a music video or movie clip on You Tube but who ever has posted it has put some stupid intro or title slide on the front of it. You didn't produce anything you twat, you uploaded a clip. No one is interested in you and your imaginary Production company! Edited January 31, 2017 by Ya Bezzer! 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Trackdaybob Posted January 31, 2017 Share Posted January 31, 2017 The car insurance trying to auto renew then calling wondering why I'd cancelled the direct debit. Because you're £250 too expensive you fuckin robbing twats 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
deej Posted January 31, 2017 Share Posted January 31, 2017 Folk that leave parked cars with wipers halfway up the windshield. Not ok 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Trackdaybob Posted January 31, 2017 Share Posted January 31, 2017 1 hour ago, deej said: Folk that leave parked cars with wipers halfway up the windshield. Not ok 1 hour ago, Bairnardo said: Agreed My car don't do that. The wipers always park. Just as well I suppose. Don't want to be mildly annoying you two. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The_Kincardine Posted January 31, 2017 Share Posted January 31, 2017 (edited) 1 hour ago, deej said: Folk that leave parked cars with wipers halfway up the windshield. Not ok They're clearly older cars as most modern cars return the wipers to 'base' when you park. Why would this bother you, though? I'm determined to deal with the mushrooming of the unnecessary 'pre' though as it's blighting our lives - see my comments earlier re 'pre-sliced' and 'pre-cooked' eg. I was in London yesterday and asked how we'd deal with possible objections to our proposal. A guy I work with said, "I have some pre-prepared replies". Jesus f**k! Edited January 31, 2017 by The_Kincardine 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
smpar Posted January 31, 2017 Share Posted January 31, 2017 They're clearly older cars as most modern cars return the wipers to 'base' when you park. Why would this bother you, though? I'm determined to deal with the mushrooming of the unnecessary 'pre' though as it's blighting our lives - see my comments earlier re 'pre-sliced' and 'pre-cooked' eg. I was in London yesterday and asked how we'd deal with possible objections to our proposal. A guy I work with said, "I have some pre-prepared replies". Jesus f**k! Whilst we're on the subject, "pre-drinks" is an awful phrase (see also; "pres") but it seems to be the only phrase that people nowadays understand when referring to having a few drinks in someone's house before heading out. I've even said to folk "have a few drinks in place X first" to which they've replied "aye, then where will we go for pres?" 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shandon Par Posted January 31, 2017 Share Posted January 31, 2017 5 minutes ago, smpar said: Whilst we're on the subject, "pre-drinks" is an awful phrase (see also; "pres") but it seems to be the only phrase that people nowadays understand when referring to having a few drinks in someone's house before heading out. I've even said to folk "have a few drinks in place X first" to which they've replied "aye, then where will we go for pres?" This really annoyed me (on your behalf). Then I realised everything annoys me today. Think it's because I'm fasting. And in the gym. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
1320Lichtie Posted January 31, 2017 Share Posted January 31, 2017 Whilst we're on the subject, "pre-drinks" is an awful phrase (see also; "pres") but it seems to be the only phrase that people nowadays understand when referring to having a few drinks in someone's house before heading out. I've even said to folk "have a few drinks in place X first" to which they've replied "aye, then where will we go for pres?" I've found that this word has died out as I've gotten older. Totally forgot about it until you said it, it is indeed a very annoying word and I've been guilty of saying it myself on many occasions. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shandon Par Posted January 31, 2017 Share Posted January 31, 2017 5 minutes ago, 1320Lichtie said: it is indeed a very annoying word and I've been guilty of saying it myself on many occasions. This will come as a profound shock to everyone, I'm sure. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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